Argument65 0806G加速度作文小组第五次作业大帖

nun318UID: 2205752

:)

65.The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

很多年来我们的所有连锁店都储备了很多种类的国产奶酪和进口奶酪。然而去年，我们的最新店里五种销量最高的奶酪都是威斯康星出产的cheddar奶酪。而且，最近一次由Cheese of the World杂志所举行的调查显示，其订阅者对于国产奶酪的倾向性越来越高。由于我们公司可以通过限制库存来减少开支，在我们所有连锁店增加盈利的最好方式就是停止贮备很多进口奶酪而主要集中于国产奶酪。

loogloogUID: 2447845

我在写前面的时候犹豫了一下，浪费了5min，导致时间紧张。下次可千万要把a熟记了，千万别犹豫！！
TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
WORDS: 452          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-1-21 下午 04:31:14

In this memo, the president of a chain of cheese stories concludes that the best way to improve profits in all of his stores is to discontinue stocking many of his varieties of imported cheeses and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To support this conclusion, the president points out that the sales of the last year in the newest stores show that the best-selling cheeses are all domestic cheddar. The president also cites the results of a recent survey making by Cheeses of the World. However, after closed analyzing, there are some logic flaws in the processing of demonstration.

To begin with, the president fails to convince me that the domestic cheeses were real the best-selling ones when only pointing the condition in the newest stores. However, the conclusion would be suspicious excluding the old stores out. It is possible that in the old stores the all best-selling cheeses were the imported ones instead of the domestic. Or perhaps, the sales of the domestic cheeses were just only behind the five types cheese, while the domestic ones sold better than the others. Without excluding these conditions, the fallacy is obvious.

Furthermore, even if I concede in the other stores the domestic cheeses from Wisconsin sold well too, The president also commits a fallacy of "hasty generalization" when demonstrating the all domestic cheeses would sale well. The only evidence is that the domestic cheeses from Wisconsin were the five best-selling cheeses. Are the domestic cheeses from other places were also the best-selling? It would be difficult for us to answer the question without the enough information about them. Only are more evidence presented, the answer can be determined.

Thirdly, the result of the survey is suspicious lacking the more information about the magazine and the processing of survey. Is the number of the subscribers of the magazine big enough, so that they can present all the people in the countries? Or is the magazine a countrywide one or a local one? Without the information of these cases, it is possible that the magazine is just a local one and its subscriber cannot represent the people who would buy the cheeses. In short, more information about the magazine and its subscribers should be presented to us before concluding.

Last but not least, the president involves in a fallacy of "a gratuitous assumption", when thinking the domestic cheese will bring more profits. Common sense tells us that the best-selling does not means the profitable ones. At some cases, they are the least profitable ones for the stores.

To sum up, there are many fallacies in this memo. Only by pointing more information about the stores, the cheeses and the magazine, the conclusion would be reliable.

loogloogUID: 2447845

zhanzuo!

The arguer suggests to(suggest sb. to do sth.) all Valu-Mart stores to increase stock of office supply based on the trend of work-at-home which is showed in a recent report. In fact, this argument suffers several flaws.

  Firstly, the arguer cites a recent survey, in which over 70 percent of the respondents reported they have more work to bring home, to show the trend of work-at-home. However, this is not the case since the arguer hasn't provided specific information and details about this survey and the whole situation. Maybe most of respondents involved in this survey come from some industry or company which is at the top of business in a whole year when this survey was conducted so that their work increase greatly, while after several months, the additional work which have to been brought back to home can been cut down.（这一个他因不好，最好是说 all these respondents work in the same company, so that they cannot represent the whole trends in the society. Or perhaps, the respondents are the computer programmer, which can work at home instead of in the offices while some others do not respondent the survey maybe the ....... ） In short, we are not informed that the increasing work will last for a long time so that it is a risk to increase stock based on a invalid trend.

  Secondly, the arguer shows that more work have to be required at home than before. However, what percent does this additional work occupy in the whole work? What consists of most work at home? We are informed the comparative increase. But if these respondents only spend half an hour in working, maybe a more quarter than before, it is natural that they don't need to purchase additional office supplies, especially home office machines such as printers, small copy machines. （你直接说他只是required真正会在家里工作的有多少？？没有information。 这样比较好！） Also, the contents of work at home should be investigated since if mostly these respondents only give some calls to their customs and send emails to communicate with other colleagues, it is no need for office supplies.(这个他因不错)

  Lastly, the arguer makes a groundless assumption that office-supply will become the most profitable components of their stores only by increasing stock of office supplies. Profit is determined by various factors such as the quality and price of supplies, not only the need of customs. The arguer notices that no impressive sales have emerged in the office-supply departments, but he fails to find reasons underlying this situation. Maybe their competing stores can provide more abundant and better quality supplies with cheaper price. So that increasing stock cannot attract more customs than before, not mention to making profits.（我觉得你从两面说比较好，一方面影响profits factor 另一方面 是the most 一词有问题，你的论证显得有些混乱，这一段）

  It is inspiring to notice the possible trend in business of office supply. However, to put forward a more reasonable suggestion, the arguer should make sure of this trend by investigating the sum time and contents of work at home, the need of customs. The arguer also needs to take into considerations kinds of reasons resulting in profits.

具体的语法错误，我没太仔细看！但是觉得你的论证语言和点有问题。建议多看范文！

[ 本帖最后由 loogloog 于 2008-1-21 22:54 编辑 ]

雪梦无痕UID: 2447732

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
WORDS: 518          TIME: 00:46:00          DATE: 2008/1/21 19:00:48

In the memo, the arguer recommends that the stores should discontinue stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese and concentrate mainly on domestic cheeses. To support the recommendation, the arguer points out they can reduces expenses by limiting inventory, the arguer also cites the conclusion of a survey conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine. The memo suffers from several critical fallacies.

The major problem of the memo is hasty generalization. First of all, the arguer fails to provide more evidence to convince us that throughout the United States, the five best-selling cheeses at the newest store are all domestic cheddar cheeses, maybe it is the local people in Wisconsin who have a special appetite that they prefer the domestic cheeses. Secondly, the arguer ignores to present any information of the selling of the imported cheeses in the United States; it is likely that the imported cheeses sell pretty well in other states, for instance, in California and Wyoming. Without taking this into consideration, we cannot conclude that the domestic cheeses sell better than the imported ones throughout the United States. Thirdly, the information provided is got in last year, maybe the best-selling cheeses at the newest store are all imported cheeses in the thought that people want to have a change in their taste, we need more up dated information to eliminate this assumption.

Another problem undermines the memo is that the arguer do not make a clear contrast in the cost of making cheese abroad and at home. As we all know that the labor force in Asia is much cheaper than that in the US, it is highly possible that we could make more profits when we import the cheeses from China than make it in Ohio when take the lower costs in both the labor market and the staffs into amount.

In addition, the arguer cites that there is an increasing preference for domestic cheeses by the survey conducted by Cheese of the World magazine among its subscribers. However, what the survey reflects is the average phenomenon; we can not get the information that all people on the United States will prefer domestic cheeses to imported ones. It is true that in many cities the result is correct while in cities where the majority people are oriental Americans or Spanish Americans they may incline to buy cheeses produced in Asia or Europe. The arguer also fails to provide more evidence to show that the major people who constitute the subscribers of the magazine are Americans. If ninety percent of the subscribers are Canadians, the statistics will not be as important as it seems to.

In sum, the recommendation is ill-founded, to strengthen it the arguer has to prove that all the customers in the United States will prefer the domestic cheeses to the imported ones, to better solidify the conclusion the arguer also has to provide more evidence to convince us the costs of the domestic cheeses are actually lower or at least they could benefit more from the selling of the domestic ones in consideration of the costs besides the selling condition.

雪梦无痕UID: 2447732

改loogloog的
In this memo, the president of a chain of cheese stories concludes that the best way to improve profits in all of his stores is to discontinue stocking many of his varieties of imported cheeses and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To support this conclusion, the president points out that the sales of the last year in the newest stores show that the best-selling cheeses are all domestic cheddar. The president also cites the results of a recent survey making by Cheeses of the World. However, after closed analyzing, there are some logic flaws in the processing of demonstration.

To begin with, the president fails to convince me that the domestic cheeses were real the best-selling ones when only pointing the condition in the newest stores. However, the conclusion would be suspicious excluding the old stores out. It is possible that in the old stores the all best-selling cheeses were the imported ones instead of the domestic. Or perhaps, the sales of the domestic（imported） cheeses were just only behind the five types cheese, while the domestic ones sold better than the others（the others?指什么？有些别扭）. Without excluding these conditions, the fallacy is obvious.

Furthermore, even if I concede in the other stores the domestic cheeses from Wisconsin sold well too, The president also commits a fallacy of "hasty generalization" when demonstrating the all domestic cheeses would sale well. The only evidence is that the domestic cheeses from Wisconsin were the five best-selling cheeses. Are the domestic cheeses from other places were also the best-selling? It would be difficult for us to answer the question without the enough information about them. Only are more evidence presented, the answer can be determined.

Thirdly, the result of the survey is suspicious lacking the more information about the magazine and the processing of survey. Is the number of the subscribers of the magazine big enough, so that they can present all the people in the countries? Or is the magazine a countrywide one or a local one? Without the information of these cases, it is possible that the magazine is just a local one and its subscriber cannot represent the people who would buy the cheeses. In short, more information about the magazine and its subscribers should be presented to us before concluding.

Last but not least, the president involves in a fallacy of "a gratuitous assumption", when thinking (selling)the domestic cheese will bring more profits. Common sense tells us that the best-selling does not means the profitable ones. At some cases, they are the least profitable ones for the stores.

To sum up, there are many fallacies in this memo. Only by pointing more information about the stores, the cheeses and the magazine, the conclusion would be reliable.
写的不错，没什么大的错误，很好啦，赞一个

[ 本帖最后由 雪梦无痕 于 2008-1-21 22:43 编辑 ]

xiayanshadowUID: 2374500

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
WORDS: 463          TIME: 00:39:44          DATE: 2008-1-21 17:50:03

In this argument, the arguer intends to prove that the best way to improve profits in all of their stores is to stop stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese, and, instead, they should concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To substantiate this claim, the arguer provides the evidence that the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses and, what's more, the arguer cites a survey indicating that an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. However, this statement is vulnerable in several aspects.

In the first place, this argument is based on the problematic assumption that people tend to prefer domestic cheese nowadays. In order to prove it, the arguer claims that the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses last year. Nevertheless, this claim does not stand convincing. Because the arguer only mentions about their newest store and information about other stores are not mentioned at all. As a result, I will suspect that imported cheeses at other stores are well sold. So this assumption is still open to double.

In the second place, the arguer fails to convince me that the recent survey cited by him surely indicates that there truly exists an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. The arguer does not mention any details about the survey, and, as a consequence, I will wonder whether this survey is reliable. For example, if the number of respondents in this survey is not big enough, then the survey will be groundless. Further more, only the subscribers, are involved in the survey. Probably, the subscribers are only a small part of their consumers, and if the majority of other consumers prefer imported cheeses, then it is not necessary the case that people tend to prefer domestic cheeses.

What further weakens the argument is that the arguer does not take other factors into consideration when demonstrating that the best way to improve profits in all of their stores is to stop stocking imported cheese and focus on domestic cheeses. In order to prove the recommendation, the arguer reasons that their company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory. Nevertheless, whether expenses will be reduced by limiting inventory owes to other factors. Consider, for example, the labor sources. If they concentrate on domestic cheeses, they will employ more labors to work for them, and therefore they should pay much more to the labors. Even if expenses will decrease, profits may not improve either. For instance, there may be many consumers who are only will to buy imported cheeses. If they discontinue stocking imported cheeses, they will lose the market of these people, and therefore they will suffer losses instead of gain profits.

In summary, the conclusion reached in this argument is invalid and misleading. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to prove that people are showing more and more preference to domestic cheeses. And the arguer should also prove that by limiting inventory, their company will surely reduce expenses, which will lead to the improving profits.

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

题目：ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."

字数：259          用时：00:25:00          日期：2008-1-21 18:53:39

The arguer suggests to all Valu-Mart stores to increase stock of office supply based on the trend of work-at-home which is showed in a recent report. In fact, this argument suffers several flaws.

  Firstly, the arguer cites a recent survey, in which over 70 percent of the respondents reported they have more work to bring home, to show the trend of work-at-home. However, this is not the case since the arguer hasn't provided specific information and details about this survey and the whole situation. Maybe most of respondents involved in this survey come from some industry or company which is at the top of business in a whole year when this survey was conducted so that their work increase greatly, while after several months, the additional work which have to been brought back to home can been cut down. In short, we are not informed that the increasing work will last for a long time so that it is a risk to increase stock based on a invalid trend.

  Secondly, the arguer shows that more work have to be required at home than before. However, what percent does this additional work occupy in the whole work? What consists of most work at home? We are informed the comparative increase. But if these respondents only spend half an hour in working, maybe a more quarter than before, it is natural that they don't need to purchase additional office supplies, especially home office machines such as printers, small copy machines.  Also, the contents of work at home should be investigated since if mostly these respondents only give some calls to their customs and send emails to communicate with other colleagues, it is no need for office supplies.

  Lastly, the arguer makes a groundless assumption that office-supply will become the most profitable components of their stores only by increasing stock of office supplies. Profit is determined by various factors such as the quality and price of supplies, not only the need of customs. The arguer notices that no impressive sales have emerged in the office-supply departments, but he fails to find reasons underlying this situation. Maybe their competing stores can provide more abundant and better quality supplies with cheaper price. So that increasing stock cannot attract more customs than before, not mention to making profits.

  It is inspiring to notice the possible trend in business of office supply. However, to put forward a more reasonable suggestion, the arguer should make sure of this trend by investigating the sum time and contents of work at home, the need of customs. The arguer also needs to take into considerations kinds of reasons resulting in profits.

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

In this argument, the arguer intends to prove that the best way to improve profits in all of their stores is to stop stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese, and, instead, they should concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. To substantiate this claim, the arguer provides the evidence that the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses and, 拆分成两句比较好 what's more, the arguer cites a survey indicating that an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. However, this statement is vulnerable in several aspects.
In the first place, this argument is based on the problematic assumption that people tend to prefer domestic cheese nowadays. In order to prove it, the arguer claims that the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses last year. Nevertheless, this claim does not stand convincing. Because the arguer only mentions about去掉 their newest store and information about other stores are not mentioned at all. As a result, I will suspect that imported cheeses at other stores are well sold. So this assumption is still open to double.
In the second place, the arguer fails to convince me that the recent survey cited by him surely indicates that there truly exists an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. The arguer does not mention any details about the survey, and, as a consequence, I will wonder whether this survey is reliable. For example, if the number of respondents in this survey is not big enough, then the survey will be groundless. Further more, only the subscribers, are involved in the survey. Probably, the subscribers are only a small part of their consumers, and if the majority of other consumers prefer imported cheeses, then it is not necessary改成副词 the case that people tend to prefer domestic cheeses.
What further weakens the argument is that the arguer does not take other factors into consideration when demonstrating that the best way to improve profits in all of their stores is to stop stocking imported cheese and focus on domestic cheeses. In order to prove the recommendation, the arguer reasons that their company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory. Nevertheless, whether expenses will be reduced by limiting inventory owes to other factors. Consider, for example, the labor sources. If they concentrate on domestic cheeses, they will employ more labors to work for them, and therefore they should pay much more to the labors. Even if expenses will decrease, profits may not improve either否定句不能用either吧. For instance, there may be many consumers who are only will to buy imported cheeses. If they discontinue stocking imported cheeses, they will lose the market of these people, and therefore they will suffer losses instead of gaingaining profits.
In summary, the conclusion reached in this argument is invalid and misleading. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to prove that people are showing more and more preference to domestic cheeses. And the arguer should also prove that by limiting inventory, their company will surely reduce expenses, which will lead to the improving profits.
看得出来，功底不错，逻辑也很清晰。以后需要做的可能就是加快速度和淡化模版痕迹了。