ISSUE185 第四次作业

钢琴宝宝UID: 2303982

Do scandals, which exist in miscellaneous fields, call our attention to the significant problems that may be less-discussed before? Though scandals may, sometimes, take some minor negative effect on society, it indeed, in my observation, play a vital role in attracting individuals to those essential and crucial events in the society.

Admittedly, scandals, in small scales, distract individual's attention to some given items in that way demolish some other more issues of great importance. Living and working in the complex and intricate entertainment circles, more often than not, those stars' privacy will be publicized and transmitted by those mass media, including quite a few scandals, like that prior to one broke up with his beloved one, he has already have affair with another. The star may be not morally correct; however, individuals have ignores some other aspects of the celebrity, like a melodic song, or a striking movie he acted. Those masterpieces of the famous one may be neglected due to the scandals, and thus people may refuse to accept the one and lose the opportunity to touch several brilliant art works.

Nevertheless, scandals exceedingly contribute to focus residents' attention on problems may be ever inadvertent, especially in politics. Most political leaders, if not all, tend to disguise themselves to be a perfect one: genteel, benign, and upright, even if they actually behave in the opposite way. Citizens may, to large extent, relying on the surface of the issue, are unable to discern the truth and the false and lack of the capability to assess the leadership of the well-masked one. It is the scandals that uncover the real characteristic of the leader. For instance, a political leader who seems of extremely honesty and integrity may turn out to be one that misappropriates the public fund, or even have family violence. With the outrageous scandals, public may reasonably and rationally evaluate the leader, not just hinge on the appearance of the leader.

Academia also demands scandals to guarantee a relatively fair circumstance. With the increasingly necessities of knowledge and information, inhabitants are likely to give high reputation for those who achieve academic success, and therefore it may lead to the academic corruption. Some scholars are hasty to earn the honors which may lead to severe errors. These decades witness growingly scandals concerning to the academe, such as plagiarism or some flaw in the given research. Perhaps it had happened ever before, yet it is until those scandals publicize to the residents that they pay adequate attention to the seriousness of the event.

Not only scandals impact on the foregoing aspects, but also it changed people's daily life. For recognizing the statement, one should look no further than the scandals of sundry products serviced by manufacturers, such as those food containing toxic integrant which will detrimental for health, some tools with poor qualities, or some poor-constructed facilities which may be harmful to individuals or even the society.  Only through those scandals can individuals know the reality and pay more attention to the products of the manufacturer. And what has been discussed above is more effective than speakers and reformers bring as people advert their experience rather than what they are imbued with.

In conclusion, even if there are some negative influences of the scandals we meet, no one can deny the profound significance of the scandals to the modern society. And Individuals are supposed to treat and utilize scandals in a correct way for better informed by the society.

写得巨痛苦，句子都扯不清楚，也不知道举什么例，哎人生``

bryanshawUID: 2239455

Do scandals, which exist in miscellaneous fields, call our attention to the significant problems that may be less-discussed before? Though scandals may, sometimes, take some minor negative effect on society, it indeed, in my observation, play a vital role in attracting individuals to those essential and crucial events in the society. 开头表示了对丑闻的一种肯定意见，很好，很直接

Admittedly说实话我不知道这个单词什么用法，我看很多人开头都喜欢上来加个admittedly，是表示无可否认？还是表示带有一点点让步的诚然的意思？我是请教哈。, scandals, in small scales, distract individual's attention to some given items in that way demolish some other more issues of great importance. 这句话前后的衔接好像有点问题呀，我觉得还是用scandals，demolish.....in the way that....比较稳妥吧，如果你觉得你用对的也可以哈。Living and working in the complex and intricate entertainment circles, more often than not学到了, those stars' privacy will be publicized and transmitted by those mass media, including quite a few scandals, like that prior to one broke up with his beloved one, he has already have affair with another. The star may be not morally correct这个表达不好; however, individuals have ignores some other aspects of the celebrity, like a melodic song, or a striking movie he acted. Those masterpieces of the famous one may be neglected due to the scandals, and thus people may refuse to accept the one and lose the opportunity to touch several brilliant art works. 这段要是能加上一个因为丑闻而形象大打折扣的明星要好的多，比如kobebryant的科罗拉多强奸案（我随便说的啊，咱俩关心的明星可能不一个类型）。这样一来你可以扩充段落中间的论证，更可以让最后一句话更有说服力。就好比我看你的文章，上面说绯闻，下面冒出来一个brilliant art works，有点没读完的感觉。

Nevertheless, scandals exceedingly contribute to focus residents' attention on problems may be ever inadvertent, especially in politics. Most political leaders, if not all, tend to disguise themselves to be a perfect one: genteel, benign, and upright, even if they actually behave in the opposite way. Citizens may, to large extent, relying on the surface of the issue, are unable to 语法错了呀，citizens may，relying... , are unable to ......前后都不对，改之discern the truth and the false and lack of the capability to assess the leadership of the well-masked one. It is the scandals that uncover the real characteristic of the leader. For instance, a political leader who seems of extremely honesty and integrity may turn out to be one that misappropriates the public fund, or even have family violence. With the outrageous scandals, public may reasonably and rationally evaluate the leader, not just hinge on the appearance of the leader. 谈政客的丑闻，写的不错。

Academia also demands scandals to guarantee a relatively fair circumstance. With the increasingly necessities of knowledge and information, inhabitants are likely to give high reputation for those who achieve academic success, and therefore it may lead to the academic corruption. Some scholars are hasty to earn the honors which may lead to severe errors. These decades witness growingly scandals 语法concerning to the academe, such as plagiarism or some flaw in the given research. Perhaps it had happened ever before, yet it is until those scandals publicize to the residents that they pay adequate attention to the seriousness of the event.写到学术界了，但是你没有写学术上的丑闻会带来什么，认识丑闻能解决什么问题，而只是在表层说了下，为什么有学术腐败，有了丑闻就能让人重视云云，我认为可以点出丑闻曝光给造假者带来很大的震慑，从道德约束力上减少了学术腐败的发生。这样点出来会好一些吧

Not only scandals impact on the foregoing aspects, but also it changed people's daily life. For recognizing the statement, one should look no further than the scandals of sundry products serviced by manufacturers, such as those food containing toxic integrant which will detrimental for health, some tools with poor qualities, or some poor-constructed facilities which may be harmful to individuals or even the society.  Only through those scandals can individuals know the reality and pay more attention to the products of the manufacturer. And what has been discussed above is more effective than speakers and reformers bring as people advert their experience rather than what they are imbued with. 这个段落讲的很简单。先不做评论。后面一起说

In conclusion, even if there are some negative influences of the scandals we meet, no one can deny the profound significance of the scandals to the modern society. And Individuals are supposed to treat and utilize scandals in a correct way for better informed by the society.

我拿到这个题目先没看你的文章，自己思考了一会，发现我们终于还是没有想到一块，你从分领域角度思考，我还是站在雷打不动的辩证看问题角度来想的。我觉得你第一段写了一个丑闻的坏处，接着三段使劲写好处，不知道是不是应该换个顺序，先写好的，最后缓和一下，说说坏的，因为开头admittedly是不是有些唐突。

然后我发现你文章一个很重要的问题，题目没有审明白啊。题目后半段明显说了和speaker和reformer的方式比较的关系，你文章并没有设计任何关于对比的意思。这点应该是很失败了。这样回想一下，你分领域讨论能有些欠妥，因为三个领域你都要比较一下丑闻和直接改革者的优劣，实在没有办法做到。

sorry改的晚了一点啊，而且胡言乱语了一通不晓得合不合适啦。下午失读失写了半天，现在终于恢复了，我准备明後天也写这篇文章，还请你改哈，呵呵。fighting！！




[ 本帖最后由 bryanshaw 于 2008-1-25 23:12 编辑 ]

kylinUID: 2242436

Do scandals, which exist in miscellaneous fields, call our attention to the significant problems that may be less-discussed before? Though scandals may, sometimes, take some minor negative effect on society, it indeed, in my observation, play a vital role in attracting individuals to those essential and crucial events这里可以说明下 这些events的一些特殊性，或者点出说丑闻是以一种独特方式来起作用，牛觉得这样比较应题。。 in the society.

Admittedly, scandals, in small scales, distract individual's attention to some given items in that way demolish some other more issues of great importance. Living and working in the complex and intricate entertainment circles, more often than not, those stars' privacy will be publicized and transmitted by those mass media, including quite a few scandals, like that prior to one broke up with his beloved one, he has already have affair with another. The star may be not morally correct; however, individuals have ignores（ed） some other aspects of the celebrity, like a melodic song, or a striking movie he acted. Those masterpieces of the famous one may be neglected due to the scandals, and thus people may refuse to accept the one and lose the opportunity to touch several brilliant art works.

Nevertheless, scandals exceedingly contribute to focus residents' attention on problems may be ever inadvertent, especially in politics. Most political leaders, if not all, tend to disguise themselves to be a perfect one: genteel, benign, and upright, even if they actually behave in the opposite way. Citizens may, to large extent, relying on the surface of the issue, are unable to discern the truth and the false and lack of the capability to assess the leadership of the well-masked one. It is the scandals that uncover the real characteristic of the leader. For instance, a political leader who seems of extremely honesty and integrity may turn out to be one that misappropriates the public fund, or even have family violence. With the outrageous scandals, public may reasonably and rationally evaluate the leader, not just hinge on the appearance of the leader. 嗯 这里可以说下 只有丑闻可以做到揭露真相，简单说下为什么reformer跟speaker却做不到，牛总觉得，这题目中丑闻的作用独特性是个点～当然白可能不是这样想的

Academia also demands scandals to guarantee a relatively fair circumstance. With the increasingly necessities of knowledge and information, inhabitants are likely to give high reputation for those who achieve academic success, and therefore it may lead to the academic corruption. Some scholars are hasty to earn the honors which may lead to severe errors. These decades witness growingly（应该是growing不？） scandals concerning to the academe, such as plagiarism or some flaw in the given research. Perhaps it had happened ever before, yet it is until those scandals publicize to the residents that they pay adequate attention to the seriousness of the event.来点具体的例子。。？可能会显得论证丰满点。。

Not only scandals impact on the foregoing aspects, but also it changed people's daily life. For recognizing the statement, one should look no further than the scandals of sundry products serviced by manufacturers, such as those food containing toxic integrant（ingredient） which will （be）detrimental for health, some tools with poor qualities, or some poor-constructed facilities which may be harmful to individuals or even the society.  Only through those scandals can individuals know the reality and pay more attention to the products of the manufacturer. And what has been discussed above is more effective than speakers and reformers bring as people advert their experience rather than what they are imbued with.

In conclusion, even if there are some negative influences of the scandals we meet, no one can deny the profound significance of the scandals to the modern society. And Individuals are supposed to treat and utilize scandals in a correct way for better informed by the society.

嗯 白的语言又进步拉～～～然后 整篇的大思路还是清晰拉 只是段落内的论证有时显得力度不够 其他的都还好八。。。不是像白说的那么绝望好不
白要加油 先把身体弄好了 再跟牛一起作死的弄 哈哈