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[i习作temp] Issue130 飞跃dreams spring 第一次作业 by Marvelous_cz [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-1-27 17:54:06 |显示全部楼层
130. "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

130. 今天的孩子社会化的方式决定了社会的明天。遗憾的是,我们还不知道如何去培养这些能有助于带来一个更好社会的孩子们。

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The author claims that the manner of the children’s socialization determines the destiny of society and we have not yet knew how to raise children who can help a better society. I fundamentally disagree with both aspects of the speaker’s claims. And the reasons will be stated in the following.

First, consider the author’s assertion that the society’s destiny depends on how children are socialized. It is true that how the children growing would influence the society’s future, which I would not deny. The purpose of the education is making the children prepare to enter the real society and fostering the children to be people who contribute to the society. In the moral aspect, adults try to foster the children to be kind, honest, brave and optimism; but children would go to the opposite way if adults educate children with a wrong method. In the sciential and skill aspect, adults want to train children to be skillful and erudite. These fostering and training help children grow up to be good citizens and effective leaders, and this may bring out a fine society.      

However, socialization is not the only one factor that would influence the destiny of the society, and I also think it is not the most important factor. Consider a preeminent leader would guide a country to walk on the way of prosperity and powerful. Such as Mahatma Gandhi, he guided India to be autocephaly and freedom, in spite of his proper socialization among genteel Indian society and, as a law student, among British society. Also consider a new technology would induct the society to be modern and convenient. The great scientists discover and invent more and more to make our society be civilized. Without the great inventions such as light and computer, our society may still be a blind and ineffectively. So I consider that the socialization of children is not the only and the most important factor that determines the destiny of society.

Consider the author’s second claim that we still do not know how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. I concede that it is very abstract and maybe no one can give a concrete definition about the ‘better society’. So what is a ‘better society’? In the last century, the society has progressed in many fields: the status of woman is increased; the social security is implemented fundamentally and so on. All these things lead to a ‘better society’. So we are not ignorant about how to raise children to be people who can contribute to society. We can tell children to be respect to woman and other people; tell them study hard to grasp the knowledge of general or specialized field; tell them to be kind, brave and friendly in order to be effective leaders. All of these we done would raise children to be the people who can help bring about a better society. In short, the author’s second claim is lack of evidence and it may be just a empirical conclusion, as I see it.

In sum, when it comes to whether children grow up to contribute to a better society, the key determinant is not socialization of children, although it is a factor which influences the destiny of society. A combination of factors would affect the destiny of society. And, in my viewpoint, our society is steadily evolving into a more civilized and respectful one. In the final analysis, I fundamentally disagree with both the claims of the author’s.


[ 本帖最后由 Marvelous_cz 于 2008-1-28 00:08 编辑 ]

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发表于 2008-1-28 14:54:48 |显示全部楼层
The author claims that the manner of the children’s socialization determines the destiny of society and we have not yet knew how to raise children who can help a better society. I fundamentally disagree with both aspects of the speaker’s claims.开门见山,表达自己的立场,很好!And the reasons will be stated in the following.

First, consider the author’s assertion that the society’s destiny depends on how children are socialized. It is true that how the children growing would influence the society’s future, which I would not deny. The purpose of the education is making the children prepare to enter the real society and fostering the children to be people who contribute to the society. In the moral aspect, adults try to foster the children to be kind, honest, brave and optimism; but children would go to the opposite way if adults educate children with a wrong method. In the sciential and skill aspect, adults want to train children to be skillful and erudite. These fostering and training help children grow up to be good citizens and effective leaders, and this may bring out a fine society.  
本段论证了孩子的社会化对于孩子成长和社会发展都有好处
   

However, socialization is not the only one factor that would influence the destiny of the society, and I also think it is not the most important factor.
Consider a preeminent leader would guide a country to walk on the way of prosperity and powerful. Such as Mahatma Gandhi, he guided India to be autocephaly and freedom, in spite of his proper socialization among genteel Indian society and, as a law student, among British society. 例子蛮好的!Also consider a new technology would induct the society to be modern and convenient. The great scientists discover and invent more and more to make our society be civilized. Without the great inventions such as light and computer, our society may still be a blind and ineffectively. So I consider that the socialization of children is not the only and the most important factor that determines the destiny of society. 本段列举了其他的可能影响社会发展的原因,进一步阐述了自己的观点
Consider the author’s second claim that we still do not know how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. I concede that it is very abstract and maybe no one can give a concrete definition about the ‘better society’. So what is a ‘better society’? In the last century, the society has progressed in many fields: the status of woman is increased; the social security is implemented fundamentally and so on. All these things lead to a ‘better society’. So we are not ignorant about how to raise children to be people who can contribute to society.
We can tell children to be respect to woman and other people; tell them study hard to grasp the knowledge of general or specialized field; tell them to be kind, brave and friendly in order to be effective leaders.一串排比增强了本段论证的效果 All of these we done would raise children to be the people who can help bring about a better society. In short, the author’s second claim is lack of evidence and it may be just a empirical conclusion, as I see it.

In sum, when it comes to whether children grow up to contribute to a better society, the key determinant is not socialization of children, although it is a factor which influences the destiny of society. A combination of factors would affect the destiny of society. And, in my viewpoint, our society is steadily evolving into a more civilized and respectful one. In the final analysis, I fundamentally disagree with both the claims of the author’s.
再次陈述自己的立场,首尾呼应

总评:LZISSUE 写的挺不错的~~呵呵~~加油~

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RE: Issue130 飞跃dreams spring 第一次作业 by Marvelous_cz [修改]

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