ARGUMENT140 【Aero小组】第9次作业 by biygan

bigyanUID: 2382427

In the argument the reporter concluded that professor Thomason should receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to department chairperson in consideration of her demonstrated teaching and research abilities. And to support this point, the author took her popularity and the money she has brought to the university in the research grants as the evidences. However, a couple of obvious fallacy and obscure factor that may lead to a premature notion has been not supposed to be overlook before that.
First of all, since the reporter spoke that she owes a largest class at the university, the survey fail to convince me that she is really popular among students according to the limited recording. A biggest class does not mean that most of the students prefer to her class, whose content may not be welcomed by the students. In addition, by citing on the absence of a statistics manifesting itself in   the real students’ thoughts, the so-called demonstrating her popularity among student is only a hasty conclusion.
Secondly, the arguer hastily gains to the point that the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeds her salary in each of the last two years. Compared with other teachers, there is a probability that the merits of her contribution are much less than of any other teacher’s in the department. Moreover, apart from the above question, the evidence can not enable her to ensure that the financial assist is going to be cut down or cut off in the future after her promotion to the department chairperson.
Finally, the arguer unfairly comes to the assumption that without the raise and promotion, the professor Thomas will leave the university for another college. If she can bring a great deal of money, her left looks like a huge losing from the viewpoint of the college. However, neither her incoming or position may improve greatly in another college. Considering the habit, location and family, conversely, she needs to make a choice that she has to stay in the college where she contributes herself in the past years.
In the conclusion, the argument fails to convince me that there are some needs to promote her position and enhance her incoming. Without considering the fallacy in the survey, we may be cheated by the superficial conduct. After all, a great deal of complicated factor lead to a simple .If we are masked by the superficiality, we will fall in the pitfall unconsciously.
         

saavedroUID: 2423190

In the argument the reporter concluded that professor Thomason should receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to department chairperson in consideration of(这个用方法颇为古怪，我还没见过不知道对不对？） her demonstrated（这是说什么呢？这是VED形式啊？） teaching and research abilities（and 前后两边形式不对）. And（最好换词） to support this point, the author took（这个用词肯定不对，得到了声誉和金钱怎么能用took呢？ get） her popularity and the money she has（had） brought to the university in the research grants as the evidences. However, a couple of obvious fallacy and obscure factor that may lead to a premature notion has been not supposed to be overlook before that.（没有读懂？）

First of all, since the reporter spoke that she owes a largest class at the university, the survey fail to convince me that she is really popular among students according to the limited recording. A biggest class does not mean that most of the（去掉the） students prefer to her class, whose content may not be welcomed by the students. In addition, by citing on the absence of a statistics manifesting itself in the real students’ thoughts（这个语序好像有问题）, the so-called demonstrating her popularity among student is only a hasty conclusion.
Secondly, the arguer hastily gains to the point that the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeds her salary in each of the last two years. Compared with other teachers, there（it） is a probability that the merits of her contribution are much less than of any other teacher’s in the department. Moreover, apart from the above question, the evidence can not enable her to ensure that the financial assist is going to be cut down or cut off in the future after her promotion to the department chairperson.（写跑题了，前面说学校其他老师更优秀，这里却说不能保证卡短他的新加的工钱？？？这是怎么回事？而且还是在她升官之后？？ 这一部分应该是要驳斥的啊。他升不了管也拿不了钱而且还走不了！！！）
Finally, the arguer unfairly comes to the assumption that without the raise and promotion, the professor Thomas will leave the university for another college. If she can bring a great deal of money（她能带来一大笔钱？？？这人是老师啊 不是造币者, 应该说如果她真的能有那种能力的话）, her left looks like a huge losing from the viewpoint of the college. However, neither her incoming or position（前面是adj 后面是 n 而且也没看出来你要说什么？ neither     nor ）） may improve greatly in another college. Considering the habit, location and family, conversely, she needs to make a choice that she has to stay in the college where she contributes herself(.....她贡献给她自己的？？) in the past years.
In the conclusion, the argument fails to convince me that there are some needs to promote her position and enhance her incoming. Without considering the fallacy in the survey, we may be cheated by the superficial conduct(表面行为？？？）). After all, a great deal of complicated factor（s） lead to a simple（....少东西） .If we are masked by the superficiality, we will fall in the pitfall unconsciously.



楼主写的这篇文章我看起来很费劲，基本上每一句话都要揣摩楼主的用意。 很多部分写的感觉都是想起一处写一处。 而且逻辑性也很牵强。 好多部分都是直接给出结论没有进行论证。 至少要说作者没有给出证据关于什么。。。。。这样才可以。第二段最后一句话跑题了，说是没有学校的 财政援助 （这里用词也不对）用bonus / dividend 更好一些，财政援助是国际关系间的用词。 再她升官之后不能保证卡她的红利工资？？？ 这句话跑题的厉害。 这一下子不就承认了先给她升官再给她发财了吗？？？ 另外语言问题也有些严重。望楼主能多看看北美范文 去临摹它写 就会好的多。