argument228-[Spring小组]第10次作业

yshxaUID: 2303585

TOPIC: ARGUMENT228 - The following appeared in a newsletter from a political organization.

"In order to promote economic growth in the city, city residents should vote 'yes' on the state government's proposal to build a new expressway linking the outlying suburbs directly to the city center. A direct link to the city center will enable downtown businesses to receive deliveries more frequently, so that downtown retailers will no longer run out of stock and city manufacturers will not be affected by shortages of materials. Booming businesses will attract qualified workers from all over the state, workers who will be able to take advantage of the new expressway to commute to work in our city. In addition to these advantages, hundreds of workers will be employed to build the expressway, further stimulating the local economy!"
WORDS: 435          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2008-1-29

  In this argument, the author recommends that our city residents should approval to build a new expressway linking the outlying suburbs and the city center. To support his view, the author brings us several reasons to show that the building of the expressway will promote our economic growth. However, there might be several defects that will undermine this argument.
  First of all, the author assumes that a direct link to the city center will enable downtown business to receive deliveries more frequently, in order to prevent the retailers from running out of stock and city manufactures lacking of materials. However, there is no sufficient evidence to substantiate this assumption. Perhaps the downtown retailers have never run out of stock and the city manufactures have never affected by shortages of materials. Even if there is shortage of materials and stock, will these manufactures be delivered via the new express? It is possible that these manufactures are delivered from another place. Therefore to build a new expressway will have nothing to do with the local economy.
  In the second place, the author claims that the booming businesses will attract more workers and these workers will be able to take advantage of the new expressway to commute to work in our city. But unfortunately, the evidence provided by the author is not sufficient enough to validate his assumption. It is entirely possible that our local factories have been full of workers, and cannot afford any more workers. Moreover, even if we need more workers, it is also possible that, as mentioned by the author, the workers come to our factories from all over the state, not just take advantage of the new expressway. In that case, the author's suggestion might be not well founded.
  In the third place, based on the fact that to build the new expressway will call for a lot of workers, the author infers that many workers will be hired and the local economy will be stimulated. However, the author ignores the possibility that once hundreds of workers be hired, our government should pay a lot of salaries to them. The cost of the new expressway will also be a heavy burden to the city's budget. Thus, whether the city’s economy will grow is still questionable.
  In sum, the author’s recommendation that to build a new expressway in our city is not well supported. To strengthen this argument, the author must provide more evidence to show that the new expressway is really in badly need. We also need information about whether this new expressway will bring us qualified workers and stimulate our economy.

huajun15868UID: 2635461

缺点：结尾太简略，希望提出更多的改善意见那么具体的改善意见是什么呢？第三段中那个be改为were变成虚拟语气好一点~
优点：我感觉用词十分到位，并且没有模板的痕迹。