Arguement164 飞跃 dreams 第二次作业

wxtxxmUID: 2339833

164.Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledge that tourists are willing to pay money to tour some of the architect's buildings, so it can be expected that tourists will want to visit this new building. The income from the fees charged to tourists will soon cover the building costs. Furthermore, such a building will attract new students as well as donations from alumni. And even though such a building will be much larger than our current need for student housing, part of the building can be used as office space.



This argument, frankly speaking, which I suppose is unwarranted. The arguer holds the opinion that the best solution to Claitown University’s problems is to commission a famous architect by building an experimental and futuristic buildings. To support his idea, the arguer shows me that the tourists’ fees can cover the costs of the building, and the alumni will be very glad to donate their mother-school. However, I can not agree with the arguer’s idea.

First of all, it is entirely possible that an experimental and futuristic buildings by a famous architect is not the best solution. I can imagine other solutions to these two problems. Claitown University can build several regular dormitory buildings which are very cheap so that the university can afford them. The costs of building these dormitories can be covered by the students’ fees. Building several cheap but practical buildings is much more cheaper than buiding an experimental and futuristic buildings. Additionally, it can decrease the school’s funds want.

Secondly, I concede the arguer’s idea is the best. But how can we know the tourists will pay money to tour the buildings, only because they are built by famous architect? Yes, I can not deny that many tourists prefer to visit some well-known buildings by famous architect, whereas don’t forget that these buildings are built in order to visit for tourists. For example, the Lincoln Memorial, Air and Space Museum in America are well-known buildings by famous architect, also they attract many tourists. What’s the most important, the students who will live in the building will not be happy to be visited sooner or later.

Thirdly, even if tourists will visit the buildings, the university perhaps can not cover the building costs. As all we know, the costs to pay for a famous architect are very high, furthermore, an experimental and futuristic building will make the costs much more higher. With such a high cost, the fees from the tourists will not cover it. It is certain that the time, money and worker will be larger than building a regular dormitory.

Finally, I doubt that whether the alumni will donate. Building such an expensive but not practical building may cause the alumni discontent. This action will be saw as waste of money ,and it is very possible that the alumni will not donate their school. The arguer suppose that part of the building can be used as office space, which I assume is not necessary. I want to know whether the arguer has made some building plans, which is worth to be certified furtherly.

In sum, the arguer fails to persuade me to believe this memo. Only due to some assumptions made by arguer , I can not accept it. If the arguer want to make his idea more trustworthy, he should find more evidences on the aspects that the tourists will pay money to visit, the fees from visitor can cover the costs, and the alumni will take donation.


[ 本帖最后由 wxtxxm 于 2008-1-30 13:30 编辑 ]

Marvelous_czUID: 2451875

This argument, frankly speaking, which I suppose is unwarranted.（新东方老师说通常最后一句表态度，我不太清楚第一句是否合适去表态度） The arguer holds the opinion that the best solution to ClaitownUniversity’s problems is to commission a famous architect by building an experimental and futuristic buildings. To support his idea, the arguer shows me that the tourists’ fees can cover the costs of the building, and the alumni will be very glad to donate their mother-school. However, I can not agree with the arguer’s idea.

First of all, it is entirely possible that an experimental and futuristic building by a famous architect is not the best solution. I can imagine other solutions to these two problems. ClaitownUniversity can build several regular dormitory buildings which are very cheap so that the university can afford them. The costs of building these dormitories can be covered by the students’ fees.（这里是不是用假设语气更好呢，毕竟我们也不知道学费能否付的了。） Building several cheap but practical buildings is much more cheaper（这个错误比较低级。。more 去了吧）than building an experimental and futuristic buildings. Additionally, it can decrease the school’s funds want.（这段说的是作者所提议的不一定是最好的方法，还可以去建一写便宜的宿舍楼从而节省开支。）

Secondly, I concede the arguer’s idea is the best. But how can we know the tourists will pay money to tour the buildings, only because they are built by famous architect? Yes, I can not deny that many tourists prefer to visit some well-known buildings（by前面是否应该加一个designed 呢，我觉得。。而且上段有个地方也是） by famous architect, whereas don’t（再次提醒不要缩写。。） forget that these buildings are built in order to visit for tourists. For example, the Lincoln Memorial, Air and SpaceMuseum in America are well-known buildings by famous architect, also they attract many tourists. What’s（同上） the most important, the students who will live in the building will not be happy to be visited sooner or later.（是否再加上一句总结，比如说，学生会让学校不要为参观他们的宿舍而收费之类的，而这样的结果就会导致学校无法负担找著名设计师改新颖楼的费用。）
（这段说的是旅游者不一定会去参观学校的新楼，但我还是觉得你应该在总结说一下，因为旅游者不会参观新楼将会导致他们钱不够，你不点出来还是觉得批评得不够深入）

Thirdly, even if tourists will visit the buildings, the university perhaps can not cover the building costs. As all we know, the costs to pay for a famous architect are very high; furthermore, an experimental and futuristic building will make the costs much more higher（这种小错值得注意，去掉more）. With such a high cost, the fees from the tourists will not cover it. It is certain that the time, money and worker will be larger than building a regular dormitory. (最后一句能用一个larger把那3个方面都概括么。。)

Finally, I doubt that whether the alumni will donate. Building such an expensive but not practical building may cause the alumni discontent. This action will be saw as waste of money ,and it is very possible that the alumni will not donate their school. The arguer supposes that part of the building can be used as office space, which I assume is not necessary. I want to know whether the arguer has made some building plans, which are worth to be certified furtherly.
这段说校友可能会不投资。

In sum, the arguer fails to persuade me to believe this memo. Only due to some assumptions made by arguer , I can not accept it. If the arguer want to make his idea more trustworthy, he should find more evidences on the aspects that the tourists will pay money to visit, the fees from visitor can cover the costs, and the alumni will take donation.

整体来说比上两篇都要充实多了，而且秉承了你的渐进式推理模式，应该说还是很不错的。不过还有很多细节上的问题要注意，而且我觉得如果可以，最好在段尾都加上些总结的语句，我通过观察范文，他们也都是这样做的~而且这样使得文章更加完整和具有说服力~~~