Argument97 飞越dreams小组第3次作业

Marvelous_czUID: 2451875

97.The following appeared in a memo from the manager of television station KICK.

"A nationwide survey reveals that a sizeable majority of men would like to see additional sports programs on television. After television station WACK increased its sports broadcasts, its share of the television audience in its viewing area almost doubled. To gain a larger audience share in our area, and thus increase company profits, KICK should also revise its broadcast schedule to include more sports coverage."

一项全国性调查发现，大多数的男性希望在电视上看到更多的体育节目。在WACK电视台增加了体育节目后，在其收视范围内的收视率几乎增加了一倍。为在本地区获得更高收视率，并从而增加公司利润，KICK也应该修改其播出计划来播放更多的体育节目。

In this memo, the manager recommends that television station KICK should revise its broadcast schedule to include more sports coverage in order to gain a larger audience share in their area. The manager points out that a nationwide survey uncovers that a sizeable majority of men would like to see additional sports programs and the share of television station WACK almost doubled after increased its sports broadcasts. However, the memo is undermined by some problems

First of all, the manager claims that most men would like to watch more sport program on TV from a nationwide survey, but not provide the survey population; therefore it is impossible to determine whether the survey results apply generally to this country. It is entirely possible that many men who would not like to watch sports program but did not respond this survey. The greater this number, the less reliable the results of the survey. Thus, this scenario, if true, the manager’s conclusion is unacceptable to me unless the manager can prove most men in this country want to watch more sport program.

Secondly, the manager fails to establish the causal relationship between the fact that WACK increased its sports broadcasts and the fact that its share of the television audience in its viewing area almost doubled. There are many other factors would lead to this results. Maybe in that time there is a wonderful match of football between tow famous teams so that it attracts many fans to watch this game. And the share of the television audience may decrease after this wonderful football match end. So, the manager should provide more evidence to prove people in this area really want to watch TV since WACK increase the sports program, which can make the survey more reliable..

Thirdly, even if the share would increase after WACK increase the sports program, the recommendation of the manager about that the schedule of KICK should also include more sports program as same as WACK is unwarranted. It is dubious that the share of television audiences would also increase as WACK since the situations of the tow different places may be dissimilar. It is entirely possible that the much proportion of population in the area of KICK is women, and the women do not like to watch sports program. If this situation is true, KICK would not increase the profits of company after they revise the schedule to include more sports program.

In sum, the manager’s recommendation is not well supported. To strengthen it the manager must provide more evidence to support that most men in the country really want to watch sports program and men take more proportion of population in the area of KICK. It would be necessarily for the manager to consider these situations before we could better evaluate the conclusion.

字数：467  时间：30mins

gre_killer_wuUID: 2451830

In this memo, the manager recommends that television station KICK should revise its broadcast schedule to include more sports coverage in order to gain a larger audience share in their area. The manager points out that a nationwide survey uncovers that a sizeable majority of men would like to see additional sports programs and the share of television station WACK almost doubled after increased its sports broadcasts. However, the memo is undermined by some problems

First of all, the manager claims that most men would like to watch more sport program on TV from a nationwide survey, but not provide the survey population; therefore it is impossible to determine whether the survey results apply generally to this country. It is entirely possible that many men who would not like to watch sports program but did not respond this survey. The greater this number, the less reliable the results of the survey. Thus, this scenario, if true, the manager’s conclusion is unacceptable to me unless the manager can prove most men in this country want to watch more sport program.
红色部分显然无理，作为论据的事实，其真实性应该是被预先假定的，不能单独作为被攻击的对象。

Secondly, the manager fails to establish the causal relationship between the fact that WACK increased its sports broadcasts and the fact that its share of the television audience in its viewing area almost doubled. There are many other factors would lead to(possiblily leading to) this results(result). Maybe in that time there is a wonderful match of football between tow famous teams so that it attracts many fans to watch this game. And the share of the television audience may decrease after this wonderful football match end. So, the manager should provide more evidence to prove people in this area really want to watch TV since WACK increase the sports program, which can make the survey more reliable..
(The existence of a causal relationship between the two phenomenons is not necessary.)

Thirdly, even if the share would increase after WACK increase the sports program, the recommendation of the manager about that the schedule of KICK should also include more sports program as same as WACK is unwarranted. (a little too long, solution: the recommendation about the same policy implemented by KICK is unwarranted.) It is dubious that the share of television audiences would also increase as WACK since the situations of the tow(two) different places may be dissimilar. It is entirely possible that the much proportion of population(use the word "audiences" will be more precise) in the area of KICK is women, and the women(perhaps most women) do not like to watch sports program. If this situation is true, KICK would not increase the profits of company after they revise the schedule to include more sports program.

In sum, the manager’s recommendation is not well supported. To strengthen it the manager must provide more evidence to support that most men in the country really want to watch sports program and men take more proportion of population in the area of KICK. It would be necessarily for the manager to consider these situations before we could better evaluate the conclusion.

建议作者先弄清楚argument写作的主要目的，是攻击论证的错误，而不是论据的可疑性。任何在题目中被提出来作为论据的事实，是应该被默认作真实的。不能单独地对它们进行单独的攻击。应该被攻击的是原题中的论证过程，也就是说，写A文的时候，作者应该从论证过程的片面，不合逻辑或常理，论据不足等方面去展开攻击。要做到这一点，需要在平时多进行逻辑与思维的训练。

还有，在指出可能存在的其他情况时，最好不要用确定的陈述句式（如，the women do not like to watch sports program），而是用推测的句式（如，perhaps most women do not like to watch sports program）

另外，我敢肯定，作者在写完文章之后，没有再看哪怕一遍（否则决不可能犯这么低级的错误 two  tow）。建议以后写完，自已先看一遍。毕竟，提高写作水平，主要还是靠自己而不是他人。

最后，希望你也能来拍我!
链接：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=796249&page=1&extra=page%3D1#pid1771369436

wxtxxmUID: 2339833

In this memo, the manager recommends that television station KICK should revise its broadcast schedule to include more sports coverage in order to gain a larger audience share in their area感觉这句话有问题，原文中吸引更多的观众并不是目的，提高收视率和利润才是根本目的. The manager points out that a nationwide survey uncovers that a sizeable majority of men would like to see additional sports programs and the share of television station WACK almost doubled after increased its sports broadcasts. However, the memo is undermined by some problems

First of all, the manager claims that most men would like to watch more sport program on TV from a nationwide survey, but not provide the survey population; therefore it is impossible to determine whether the survey results apply generally to this country. It is entirely possible that many men who would not like to watch sports program but did not respond this survey. The greater this number, the less reliable the results of the survey. 很好的攻击了无效调查，不错的论证模式Thus, this scenario, if true, the manager’s conclusion is unacceptable to me unless the manager can prove most men in this country want to watch more sport program.

Secondly, the manager fails to establish the causal relationship between the fact that WACK increased its sports broadcasts and the fact that its share of the television audience in its viewing area almost doubled. There are many other factors would lead to this results. Maybe in that time there is a wonderful match of football between two famous teams so that it attracts many fans to watch this game. And the share of the television audience may decrease after this wonderful football match end. So, the manager should provide more evidence to prove people in this area really want to watch TV since WACK increase the sports program, which can make the survey more reliable..攻击了WACK的收视率增加不一定是由于增加了体育节目，可能还有别的原因，这点我都没发现，不错啊~~

Thirdly, even if the share would increase after WACK increase the sports program, the recommendation of the manager about that the schedule of KICK should also include more sports program as same as WACK is unwarranted. It is dubious that the share of television audiences would also increase as WACK since the situations of the two different places may be dissimilar. It is entirely possible that the much proportion of population in the area of KICK is women, and the women do not like to watch sports program. If this situation is true, KICK would not increase the profits of company after they revise the schedule to include more sports program.驳斥了KICK采取WACK的做法不一定能取得同样的效果
In sum, the manager’s recommendation is not well supported. To strengthen it the manager must provide more evidence to support that most men in the country really want to watch sports program and men take more proportion of population in the area of KICK. It would be necessarily for the manager to consider these situations before we could better evaluate the conclusion.

你的语言很不错，相当值得我学习啊~~我现在写作文都想不出该怎么组织语言。。。此文章一共批驳了三处错误：无效调查，WACK收视率增加可能有别的原因，KICK采取同样做法不一定取得同样效果。我在上新东方的时候，作文老师说，看到ARGUE里面有涉及到盈利，利润的时候，要注意批驳，盈利不仅和收益有关，更和成本有关，建议你加上~~