argument147(Aero小组)

wenwenwen4444UID: 2377774

147.The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
1、首先这个survey的调查对象不明确（哪里的？年龄结构？性别？随机性？），而对象的选取直接影响反馈结果要求up-to-date的电脑的lifelike graphics。
2、并且，survey结果中的prefer很含糊，是99％还是51％还是21％？没有具体的数据显示，如果是21％的话，那么要想increasa dramatically是不可能的。
3、再者，即使survey没有错误，也不见得有很多人买得起up-to-date computer,这样再怎么做推广也没用，sales也不会上升很多，更何况dramatically。
4、还有，advertising campaign 的内容没有很好根据survey制定，前者的对象是10－25 岁的年龄段，但是survey的对象一定是这个阶段吗？如果不是的话，这个推广活动就没有根据可言了。sales增还是继续减都是个未知数。

This argument asserts that through the extensive advertising campaign which is in terms of the seemingly peruasive survey, the dramatically increasing of the sales of Whirlwind video games occurs possibly in the next few months. However, there are several reasons supporting me to suspect the conclusion of this argument.

To begin with, the sample of this survey, "video-games players", is vague and of suspicion if it accords with the random sampling. Do these video-games players incude different ages? Are these players from certain region? And what about the structure of sex? Suppose that these video-games players were all boys at 10 year-old who came from the same class, the result from this survey would loss its reliability. Therefore, it would be a waste to carry out the next step of extensive advertising campaign that in terms of the unperuasive survey, to say nothing of the conclusion of the argument. Furthermore, the quntity of the players as the sample is also unknown and worth to be doubted.

What's more, what does the "prefer" mean? Does it mean 99% of the players are inclined to select the games that provide lifelike graphics? If there are only 21% of players like the games providing lifelike graphics, at the same time others who select another kinds of games are less, it also means a "prefer". Thus, the 21% of players would not bring large quantities of consumers and the sales of this kind of games might increase but not dramaticallly.

In addition, even if the survey is believable, it also fails to claim that the sales will increase as the up-to-date computer might be too expensive to purchase for most players who enjoy the games that provide lifelike graphcs. That is to say, the sales in the next few weeks is still impossible increasing turgidly.
Finally, why the extensive advertising campaign directs at people 10 to 25 years old? Is it because the people from 10 to 25 years old just accord with  the age span of the sample in survey? Of course not. Depending on the foregoing analyse, the sample in the survey is vague. Therefore, the "people from 10 to 25 years old" is rootless, thus the servey losses its function.

In sum, the survey must be strictly designed such as the random sampling and the strategy ought to be related with the foregoing survey rightly. The Whirlwind fails to do that.  

dahuadebaobaoUID: 2441571

This argument asserts that through the extensive advertising campaign which is in terms of the seemingly peruasive (persuasive) survey, the dramatically increasing of the sales of Whirlwind video games occurs possibly in the next few months. However, there are several reasons supporting me to suspect the conclusion of this argument.To begin with, the sample of this survey, "video-games players", is vague and of suspicion if it accords with the random sampling. Do these video-games players incude (include) different ages? Are these players from certain region? And what about the structure of sex (作者应该是想说性别比例吧，proportion of male and female participated in the survey) ? Suppose (supposing) that these video-games players were all boys at 10 year-old who came from the same class, the result from this survey would loss its reliability. Therefore, it would be a waste to carry out the next step of extensive advertising campaign that in terms of the unpersuasive survey, to say nothing of the conclusion of the argument. Furthermore, the quntity (quantity) of the players as the sample (samples)  is also unknown and worth to be doubted.(这句也是在说明survey 是unreliable的，因此放在therefore 那句后面连贯一些)What's more,（what is more, aw中不允许出现连拼） what does the "prefer" mean? Does it mean 99% of the players are inclined to select the games that provide lifelike graphics? If there are only 21% of players like the games providing lifelike graphics, at the same time others who select another kinds of games are less（什么叫选择其他游戏的人是少的？这里作者不是想表明89％的人选择其他游戏么？）, it also means a "prefer". Thus, the 21% of players would not bring large quantities of consumers and the sales of this kind of games might increase but not dramatically.(这段感觉有些牵强， prefer这个词是用来表示player的动作的，而不是形容player的比例，因此不是从prefer这个词入手，而是直接说题目中没有说明有多少player喜欢)In addition, even if the survey is believable, it also fails to claim that the sales will increase as the up-to-date computer might be too expensive to purchase for most players who enjoy the games that provide lifelike graphcs （graphics） . That is to say, the sales in the next few weeks is still impossible increasing turgidly.Finally, why the extensive advertising campaign directs at people 10 to 25 years old? Is it because the people from 10 to 25 years old just accord with  the age span of the sample in survey? Of course not.(这里这么肯定不太好，只是有这种不对应的可能嘛)  Depending on the foregoing analyse (analyses) , the sample in the survey is vague. Therefore, the "people from 10 to 25 years old" is rootless, thus (and thus)  the servey (survey) losses its function.In sum, the survey must be strictly designed such as （这里concerning 好一些吧，不是比如的意思，而是涉及的意思）the random sampling and the strategy ought to be related with the foregoing survey rightly. The Whirlwind fails to do that.  
（作者可以用word将文章拼写错误修改后再贴上来）

[ 本帖最后由 dahuadebaobao 于 2008-2-13 20:29 编辑 ]