issue144 [Jet小组]第六次作业～～欢迎互拍呦^^

leftkissUID: 2347956

:)
144"It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.



字数：441~字数可能不是很多(虽然没有限时吧……)～希望大家狠拍～^^

I agree with the speaker's claim to some extent that it is the artist creates something of lasting value, not the critic.

From the past to our days, the arts are created by artists but not critics. Artists play a vital role in the art's progress without any doubt. In the development of the art, it's Beethoven who created the marvelous symphonies; it's Picasso that established the territory of image school in paintings; it's Margaret Mitchell who wrote the most popular fiction Gone with the Wind, which show us a unique wonderful scene on love and dilemmas grounded on the war. The consequential artworks not only appreciated by the people before but influent our today's living, which would be called lasting value.

Although it's not the critics who create the artworks, critics indeed help people to recognize the value of artworks if(when) they are abstruse for most ordinary people. The most typical example is Van Gogh, whose paintings' value isn't accepted by the public until the critics showed the unique high light in his works. In another aspect, critics also help people make a choice among mass of works made by artists. For instance, there are hundreds of films created per year, considering that tickets are really expensive, film critics make a first-hand selection for us. As a result of that we can save our money as well as time which are both important for us recently. When we attracted by another language, furthermore another culture we need to choose facets which worth to studying, getting involved. When we were trapped in these problems mentioned above, critics can support us this kind of help.

Admittedly, the importance of critics cannot be ignored but there really exist a question that whether the critics' comments about the artwork are correct and just. The answer may be negative. Critics make comments according to their experience, culture, and even the influence from the public. Considering that if a painter gets along well with a critic or they have a relationship on profits, can the critique be just and objective? The critic may make biased critique as a result of lacking of cultural background or catering to the public's taste. Let's look at the instance about film critics in last (?可以么？还是用above) paragraph. Film critics probably make the inaccurate critique according to the situation discussed above. Most of us may experience that the critique is opposite to the film itself.

In the final analysis, we should admit the function of critics. Although sometimes artists and critics are complement to each other, even critics can discover the value of the artworks, it is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value.

all welcome 留链回拍哦～～:)



[ 本帖最后由 leftkiss 于 2008-2-13 19:12 编辑 ]

macross_36UID: 2306285

I agree with the speaker's claim to some extent that it is the artist creates something of lasting value, not the critic. (首段好像太短了,可以适当扩句)

From the past to our days(这个表达好像不对吧?), the arts arecreated by artists but not critics. Artists play a vital role in the art's progress without any doubt. In the development of the(去掉似乎比较合理) art, it's Beethoven who created the marvelous symphonies; it's Picasso that established the territory of image school in paintings; it's Margaret Mitchell who wrote the most popular fiction(太绝对,改成one of the most popular fictions) Gone with the Wind, which show(-s) us a unique wonderful scene on love and dilemmas grounded on the war. The consequential artworksnot only (are) appreciated by the people before but (also) influent (influence) our(去掉)today's living(这个表达似乎不对,改成people nowadays好像更好), which would be called lasting value.

Although it's not the critics who create the artworks, critics(they) indeed help people to recognize the value of artworks if(when) they are abstruse for most ordinary people. The most typical (A typical) example is Van Gogh, whose paintings' value isn't accepted by the public until the critics showed the unique high light in his works. In another aspect, critics also help people make a choice among mass of works made by artists. For instance, there are hundreds of films created per year. Considering that tickets are really expensive, film critics make a first-hand selection for us. As a result of that(多余了) we can save our money as well as time which(that) are both important for us recently. When we (are) attracted by another language, furthermore another culture we need to choose facets which (is) worth to(去掉) studying,(and) getting involved. When we were (are) trapped in these problems mentioned above, critics can support(supply) us (with) this kind of help.

Admittedly, the importance of critics cannot be ignored but there really exist a question that whether the critics' comments about the artwork are correct and just. The answer may be negative. Critics make comments according to their experience, culture, and even the influence from the public. Considering that (去掉) If a painter gets along well with a critic or they have a relationship on profits, can the critique be just and objective? The critic may make biased critique as a result of lacking of(去掉) cultural background or catering to the public's taste. Let's look at the instance about film critics in last (可以么？还是用above?---都可以吧,既然下面有above,这里就用last) paragraph. Film critics probably make the inaccurate critique according to the situation discussed above. Most of us may experience that the critique is opposite to the film itself.

In the final analysis, we should admit the function of critics. Although sometimes artists and critics are complement to each other, even (这个连词用的不太好) critics can discoverthe value of the artworks, it is the artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value.


总结: 作者全文思路清晰,两段写驳论,一段写同意,但是两段驳论被分开了,这样不如写在一起好,可以通过过渡句达到递进的效果.语法错误虽然不是大事,但是这篇文章的语法错误有点多了,很多错误是因为中文思维的影响造成的.同时作者喜欢写长句子,但是多为简单的长句,个人认为不如多些短句说的清楚.                                                                                                                                              (经验不多,说的不对还请见谅)

[ 本帖最后由 macross_36 于 2008-2-16 17:36 编辑 ]