issue 207 飞跃dreams小组 第六次作业

wxtxxmUID: 2339833

TOPIC: ISSUE207 - "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."
WORDS: 445          TIME: 00:44:26          DATE: 2008-2-14 11:12:03

The author holds the opinion that culture is defined by help of rituals and ceremonies,and people will lose the sense of who they are in the society groups without rituals and ceremonies. Yes,I agree that rituals and ceremonies can have contribution to maintain people's sense of who they are,what they belong to,however,it is not the only purpose of rituals and ceremonies.

Frankly speaking,one purpose of rituals and ceremonies is to preserve the society identity in the world.In psychology,large amount of researches show that every body is fear to be lonely ,and all of people are willing to join in different kinds of organizations,for example,they want to have jobs,families,and etc.Such society actions can help people to get warm,help and eliminate the feeling of isolated.Rituals and ceremonies can help people to achieve such goals.It is why people  place such importance to rituals and ceremonies.Through varieties of rituals and ceremonies,people can feel that they are members of some organizations then get safe sense.

Admittedly,without rituals and ceremonies,people may lose themselves in the society only because they fail to feel the power of organization.In organization,members can get helps and love by supporting each other. When the members are acting in the organization,their behavior may be different ,in other hand,members may exibit coordinatedly when they face out.Especially when members are attacked by some other people,other members in the organization will have spirits of united. Because rituals and ceremonies are the symbol of organizations,if they have disappeared,members will not feel safe even the organization is still exist.

However,there also have other effects of rituals and ceremonies not only maintain people's feeling of who they are.As the world has become more and more smaller because of the development of technology,many small peoples have been assimilated by majority peoples.What is very pity, the outcome of assimilation is to cause some traditional rituals and ceremonies disappearing. All of those rituals and ceremonies are symbols of such traditional culture which they represent. Since the rituals and ceremonies disappeared,the cultures will not be find in the world.After all,the orginal purpose of rituals and ceremonies is probable to make god help people to have a better life.Even today there are some primitive cultures still engage in rutuals primarily for such reason.What is very important for our human,is to preserve such traditional rituals and ceremonies,in order to maintain the multiplicity of human society.

In sum,in my opinion,I agree with the ideas of the author that rituals and ceremonies help define a culture.Nevertheless,rituals and ceremonies' purpose are not only  preserving people's society identity,also they are symbols of traditional culture. And preserving traditional culture is also very important to people nowdays because they can maitain the diversity of human world.

Marvelous_czUID: 2451875

The author holds the opinion that culture is defined by help of rituals and ceremonies,and people will lose the sense of who they are in the society groups without rituals and ceremonies. Yes,I agree that rituals and ceremonies can have contribution to maintain people's sense of who they are,what they belong to,however,it is not the only purpose of rituals and ceremonies.Frankly speaking,one purpose of rituals and ceremonies is to preserve the society identity in the world.In psychology,large amount of researches show that every body is fear to be lonely ,and all of people are willing to join in different kinds of organizations,for example,they want to have jobs,families,and etc.Such society actions can help people to get warm,help and eliminate the feeling of isolated.Rituals and ceremonies can help people to achieve such goals.It is why people  place such importance to rituals and ceremonies.Through varieties of rituals and ceremonies,people can feel that they are members of some organizations then get safe sense.
中间一部分扯得有些微远。虽然心理方面的内容你比较熟悉，但好几句话都脱离了仪式和典礼的作用了。人们怕孤单，只是想加入某个组织的话，和仪式说实话并不是很有关系我感觉。
而且这些说法和你一开始所说，仪式的一个目的是保存社会的一致，跟你后来说的不大搭边。Admittedly,without rituals and ceremonies,people may lose themselves in the society only because they fail to feel the power of organization.In organization,members can get helps and love by supporting each other. When the members are acting in the organization,their behavior may be different ,in other hand,members may exibit coordinatedly when they face out.Especially when members are attacked by some other people,other members in the organization will have spirits of united. Because rituals and ceremonies are the symbol of organizations,if they have disappeared,members will not feel safe even the organization is still exist.
这段扯得有些更远了。。。直接就不写典礼改写组织的作用了。。。我觉得，这篇的题目主要是仪式和典礼，其他的东西只能是作为辅助的，不能主要用他们来写，而你只是在最后说仪式和典礼是组织的象征，首先这就有点牵强，而且只在最后说一句，显得。。。。
总之，我感觉，这么写真的很危险，有可能会算跑题吧。。。恩，个人感觉，建议别这么写However,there also have（这什么说法。。？） other effects of rituals and ceremonies not only maintain people's feeling of who they are.As the world has become more and more smaller because of the development of technology,many small peoples（许多小人？） have been assimilated by majority peoples.What is very pity, the outcome of assimilation is to cause some traditional rituals and ceremonies disappearing. All of those rituals and ceremonies are symbols of such traditional culture which they represent. Since the rituals and ceremonies disappeared,the cultures will not be find in the world.After all,the orginal purpose of rituals and ceremonies is probable to make god help people to have a better life.Even today there are some primitive cultures still engage in rutuals primarily for such reason.What is very important for our human,is to preserve such traditional rituals and ceremonies,in order to maintain the multiplicity of human society.
讲的依然是有点乱，第一句话说的是仪式的其他的作用。但后来写的又显得很零碎，似乎并不是完全围绕第一句话来写的。建议以后所有的段落都在第一句把你这段的中心思想写的清清楚楚，然后在后面的话中完全围绕这个中心来写。这样写才能是最有说服力的~~恩，我的个人建议~
In sum,in my opinion,I agree with the ideas of the author that rituals and ceremonies help define a culture.Nevertheless,rituals and ceremonies' purpose are not only  preserving people's society identity,also they are symbols of traditional culture. And preserving traditional culture is also very important to people nowdays because they can maitain the diversity of human world.