请大家帮忙看一下我的task 2,不胜感激！

lqinqincaoUID: 2382593

1.Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most effective.
     Comics
     Books
     Radio
     Television
     Film
     Theatre
Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Among television, film and theatre I believe television to be the most effective media to present  stories to people. there is no doubt that television is playing an increasing role in people’s lives these years, with its rising popularity and wide use, it is likely to take the place of other medias in the future.
Television has many advantages compared with film and theatre. First of all, it is cheap and is accessible at any time. TV manufactures are cutting prices year after year, and with a TV set at home, one can watch a great variety of programmes free, while one have to pay for the ticket when going to the cinema or theatre. Moreover, nowadays, most films and operas can be viewed via TV as well.CCTV-6 is such a film channel which introduce and plays all kinds of hot films for its audience. Furthermore, cinemas and theatres can be noisy and the facilities there might disappoint the audience, while one can always sitting comfortably at home, eating snacks and having a  wonderful time watching TV programmes or DVDs.
However, film and theatre do have their own merits. For example, going to the cinema allows one to enjoy the big screen and for those films with magnificent scenes, i.e the lord of the rings, the cinema provides an ideal place to bring out the film’s beauty to the full. For theatre. However, it gives its audience a live show on which the audience can see with their own eyes the characters and their facial expressions, and experience the live atmosphere at the same time. Some artists feel it is a more effective way for communication as they can get feedback from the audience while performing.
Although TV is not as effective as the other two in some aspects, I still believe in its popularity and potential for as technology develops, families are having lager TV screens and the images are more vivid than ever. Therefore, I consider TV to be the most effective one and believe it will be increasingly so in the near future.

bqianaUID: 193168

6分是没什么问题了
然而要上6.5＋
在Topic Sentence方面
个别关联词的使用上
过渡句的衔接上
以及透析各媒体的利弊上
还要下功夫

例如：
对于不同的观众或消费者
在不同的需求下
它们各具特色

如果从家庭和个人选择角度
从其便利性
或从电视节目内容上
或从广告宣传上
电视呈现出明显优势
如连续剧，动画系列剧，电视购物等
但若要观看最新的电影大片的舞台剧（盗版排外）
电视就无法满足需求

于是，从最新大片的优先播放
从现场氛围和音响效果而言
或从娱乐服务质量而言
后两者呈现优势
尽管观看戏院与影院的观众人数不如以前
但也不能断言说会被完全取代

结论
如果后2者价格下降到合理程度
加上交通便利，设施更先进舒适，服务更加到位
仍将是最受欢迎的媒体
与电视并驾齐驱

lqinqincaoUID: 2382593

谢谢bqiana老师！觉得思路更加完整严谨了，不过考场上要考虑这么周全，我还得多下功夫...:)

futuremanUID: 2327059

sorry..比较忙来晚了..

futuremanUID: 2327059

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most effective.
     Comics
     Books
     Radio
     Television
     Film
     Theatre
Give reasons for you answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experienceAmong television, film and theatre I believe television to be [is] the most effective media to present  stories to people. there [大写] is no doubt that television is playing an increasing role in people’s lives these years, [分号]with its rising popularity and wide use, it is likely to take the place of other medias in the future.
Television has many advantages compared with film and theatre. First of all, it is cheap and is accessible at any time. TV manufactures are cutting [用被动语态]prices year after year, and with a TV set at home, one can watch a great variety of programmes free, while one have to pay for the ticket when going to the cinema or theatre. Moreover, nowadays, most films and operas can be viewed via TV as well.CCTV-6 is such a film channel which introduce[introduces] and plays all kinds of hot films for its audience. Furthermore, cinemas and theatres can be noisy and the facilities there might disappoint the audience, while one can always sitting [feel, 动名词误用] comfortably at home, eating[eat] snacks and having a  wonderful time watching TV programmes or DVDs.
However, film and theatre do have their own merits. For example, going to the cinema allows one to enjoy the big screen and for those films with magnificent scenes, i.e [e.g]the lord of the rings, the cinema provides an ideal place to bring out the film’s beauty to the full. For theatre. However, it gives its audience a live show on which the audience can see with their own eyes the characters and their facial expressions, and experience the live atmosphere at the same time. Some artists feel it is a more effective way for communication as they can get feedback from the audience while performing.
Although TV is not as effective as the other two in some aspects, I still believe in its popularity and potential for as technology develops, families are having lager TV screens and the images are more vivid than ever. Therefore, I consider TV to be the most effective one and believe it will be increasingly so in the near future.

语法问题注意一下.
第二段将TV优势与其他media劣势相比来说明TV most effective,这样安排已经不是让人非常满意了，下一段又只说film theatre的优势，那我不禁要问你，你说TV好，你倒是把他们的优势摆到一起比较啊，为什么要拐着弯子....最后一段又赶紧扯回TV的effective,这更让我怀疑你的reason是否足够compulsive..
这是逻辑错误

[ 本帖最后由 futureman 于 2008-2-16 14:49 编辑 ]

AgynessUID: 2405406

有一点困惑在逻辑问题上
第3段写完了film 和theatre的优势之后，再加上结尾这句Although TV is not as effective as the other two in some aspects
就觉得你对于电视的坚持并不reasonble

bqianaUID: 193168

逻辑是很要命滴的东西
如何提高逻辑值得研究

飘食海洋UID: 2402700

如题.通篇读完,有跑题的感觉.为什么它还能作为范文?不解. 本人觉得范文的主题好像是妇女为什么要工作.而题目的要求应该是论述工作的妇女是否减少了对孩子的关怀.

forbeckUID: 2297645

手上没有cam2~~~~

老师的建议得好好研究下了。。。。:handshake :loveliness: