ISSUE144 0806GStrive小组 forandom 第二次作业

forandomUID: 2449233

题目：
ISSUE 144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.


According to the speaker's statement, it is the artist rather the critic that provides us enduring value. In my view this statement is too extreme, in three respects. First, it neglects the fact that the critic facilitates people to appreciate works of art through various perspectives. Secondly, it ignores the role the critic plays in establishing the criterion of works. And thirdly, it dose not cognize that comments can help inject fresh thoughts into art.

First, the artist gives us raw materials, while the critic offers us broad eyeshot to them. The works of art, created by the author with his own experiences, was endowed with the intention to express the artist's original ideas to the life. Founding on different personal value systems, culture backdrops and literacy levels, barrier may be set up when we take the works into account. Sometimes, we even don't know what to start with. This is especially true when a commonplace person steps into a abstract picture show. With the various perspectives provided by the critic, who is usually insightful, we may be led into deeper thought and wider imagination, one of the primary functions of art we appreciate and enjoy.

Moreover, the critic's comments usually represent the public voice, by which the criterion of works of art is established. It would be unbelievable if there is no such a standard to distinguish the good and the evil, the right and the wrong, the true and the false and etc. Recall the movie Red Cherry, in which a poor girl desperately cauterized her back, with a scar both in spirit and corporeal left, for effacing the sophisticated body art compulsorily tattooed by a Nazi officer. Admittedly, nobody will tolerate this sort of atrocity in the name of art but condemn it.

With the prosperous view of criticism and approval, the concomitant collision is inevitable. Meanwhile, fresh thought is injected. For instance, it was at first difficult for the public to accept Vincent Van Gogh's pictures for the extraordinary drawing technique and view angle and thus they were neglected. But later, comments fixed people's eyes back to his works. In controversy, the notion of Post-impression was come up with and many other schools, for example, Fauvism, started to absorb some conceptions of Post-impression into their works. Although merely no critics will be memorized by the history, they may influence the direction of art schools. In this sense, the impact is lasting.

For the reasons above, I believe that it's too early for the speaker to conclude such a statement before more work has been done.


[ 本帖最后由 forandom 于 2008-2-23 23:22 编辑 ]

honglingdangUID: 2436513

According to the speaker's statement, it is the artist rather thanthe critic that provides us enduring value. In my view this statement is too extreme,把逗号去掉会比较好吧 in three respects. First, it neglects the fact that the critic facilitates people to appreciate works of art through various perspectives. Secondly要与前面对应，前面是first，这就用second，或者把前面的改成firstly, it ignores the role the critic plays in establishing the criterion of works. And thirdly, it dose not cognize that comments can help inject fresh thoughts into art.

First, the artist gives us raw materials, while the critic offers us broad eyeshot to them. The works of art, created by the author with his own experiences, was endowed with the intention to express the artist's original ideas to the life.用得好，学习 Founding on different personal value systems, culture backdrops and literacy levels, barrier may be set up when we take the works into account. Sometimes, we even don't know what 我还是觉得用where比较好to start with. This is especially true this would be especially obvious会更好一点吧，或者就干脆用especially就好了when a commonplace person steps into a abstract picture show. With the various perspectives provided by the critic, who is usually insightful, we may be led into deeper thought and wide imagination, one of the primary functions of art we appreciate and enjoy.不太明白这半句话在这什么意思，好像语法上和意思上又说不太通啊

Moreover, the critic's comments usually represent the public voice, by which这里的which指代不明却，用then可以表达 the criterion of works of art is established. It would be unbelievable if there is no such a standard to distinguish the good and the evil, the right and the wrong, the true and the false and etc. Recall the movie Red Cherry, in which a poor girl desperately cauterized her back, with a scar both in spirit and corporeal left, for effacing the sophisticated 换个形容词吧，我怎么都没找到你想要表达的意思的解释body art compulsorily tattooed by a Nazi officer. Admittedly, nobody will tolerate this sort of atrocity in the name of art but condemn it.这一段想表达的应该是艺术评价可以建立评判艺术的标准，但是我感觉例子对这个论点不能很有利的支持，在文笔上也只是在开头一句是说的这个方面的事情，论证不够有力

With the prosperous view of criticism and approval, the concomitant collision is inevitable. Meanwhile, fresh thought is injected. For instance, it was at first difficult for the public to accept Vincent Van Gogh's pictures for the extraordinary drawing technique and view angle and thus they were neglected. But later, comments fixed people's eyes back to his works. In controversy, the notion of Post-impression was come up with双谓语，with 后面应该有表语啊 and many other schoolsschool有艺术派别的意思吗？我不是很清楚, for example, Fauvism, started to absorb some conceptions of Post-impression into their works. Although merely no 尽管，仅仅，没有，~~还是把merely去掉吧critics will be memorized by the history, they may influence the direction of art schools. In this sense, the impact is lasting.

For the reasons above, I believe that it's too early for the speaker to conclude such a statement before more work has been done.

感觉结尾太仓促了，我觉得可能是限时写的吧，不然应该把结尾再丰富一下。
      在逻辑方面，从文章开头就很明显的划分了三个层次，很明显，也很很清楚，可以很有力的反驳原文的观点，但是在文章的主题段落却没有用有力的论证和论据去证明首段中的三个分论点。要注意每个段落都应该紧密围绕分论点展开论述，才能做到逻辑严谨。
      觉得本文的一个特点就是例子都比较新颖，至少是对我来说了，这种很具体的例子我是举不出来的了，学习一下~呵呵。
      在语言上，我觉得能够把很多说法变化着说，减少了重复，还是很不错的，不过在语法上还是有一些问题，应该写完文章之后仔细看看啊，
      当然，在语法上，我也不权威，如果有什么不对或者意见不同的地方，欢迎给我指出来，大家互相学习啊

forandomUID: 2449233

恩，同意你的观点。我提出来了论点，但论证太苍白，结尾也太草率。

we may be led into deeper thought and wide imagination, one of the primary functions of art we appreciate and enjoy。
本意是想用one做前边句子的同位语we may be led into deeper thought and wide imagination

was come up with  这里用的是被动语态，里边的come是过去分词 come up with 提出

sophisticated 有精密的意思，例如 sophisticated weapon, 用来修饰tattoo是有点牵强，没找着好的词，呵呵

school 学派

[ 本帖最后由 forandom 于 2008-2-25 17:40 编辑 ]