Argument147【cashing for 6小组】第二次作业 by springelf

springelfUID: 2458536

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 394        TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2008-3-5 18:56:19

写超时了，555  

In this argument, the arguer claim that the sale of Whirlwind (W) video games will increase in the next few months. To support his claim, the arguer cites various evidence about a recent survey about video games and a advertisement the W has played. Careful examination of his supporting evidence, however, reveals that it leads little credible supporting to the deceleration.

At the first glance, the survey that player prefer the game providing the lifelike graphics accomplishes nothing toward bolstering the assertion that the player will like the W video game. The arguer provides no evidence to prove it. Perhaps, the lifelike graphics provided by W is so boring that player doesn’t like it. Or perhaps, the fact that the sale of W have declined over the past two year prove W's shortcoming. Therefore, the fact that player like the game providing lifelike graphic is little indication that W will be the player's favorite.

Secondly, Nor the mere fact that W has introduced its games with extensive adverting campaign has lend significant support to the claim. The arguer provides no information about the influence of advertisement. It is entirely possible that the advertisement has little influence and cannot make the sale of W be reversed or the advertisement has no influence. If so, the extensive advertising campaign is of little use for the sale.

Even if the advertisement has some influence, the fact that the advertisement is focus on the people 10 to 25 years old must be noticed. The arguer assumes that the people effected by the W's advertisement will and can buy W. However the arguer provides no evidence to support the assumption. Perhaps the people cannot afford the W, perhaps the parents of children below 16 don’t allow their children to play the game for different kinds of reason, even perhaps the people whom the advertisement is directed at is not the mainstream-customers of W. So, the fact the advertisement has influence still cannot convince me.

In conclusion, the argument is not well supported only relying on the facts that people prefer the game providing the lifelike graphics and the W has introduced its game with extensive advertising, as the article discussion. To convince me, the arguer must provide more evidence about the condition of W's game, of people whom the game is focus on, and the cause of the decrease of W's sale.

ncnysUID: 2347325

各段论证的时候写的比较笼统,需要多举些实质或论证的句子加以详细细节性地说明,这将更有说服力...另外各段论证间的逻辑有一点点混乱哈...你可以先好好把题目分析一下哈..啥是论点,啥是结论,论点是怎么支撑结论的..然后把最重要的论点作为你的重点攻击对象..这样,题目的结论就完全站不住脚了哈..加油!;d: