argument26[Savior小组]第五次作业

碎片UID: 2158883

TOPIC: ARGUMENT26 - The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.

"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three

regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years.

Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school

system."
提纲：1，Mr. Charles Schade 作为music directo at Steel City High School 是否成功很值得怀疑
2，Steel City High School与Steel City High 不同，music director与director of general music education programs不同。
This memo is a one-sided argument about promotion of Mr. Schade(MS) as director for the general music education programs in the whole Saluda school(SS) system. The author points

out some evidences showing that what MS has have to do with Steel City High School(SCHS). However, there are still many hidden aspects of this suggestion that he or she has

overlooked or chosen to ignore.

To begin with, whether MS succeeded as music director at SCHS, stays dubious. Yet during his time, the school band in SCHS has won three regional band competitions. Perhaps, SCHS

would has been famous for its school band for a long time for talent students and teachers in it. At the same time, there might be a good tradition about member selection in

school band to keep the best performers. Hence, with high quality of teachers and students, it is no wonder that SCH won three regional band competitions continually. In this

case, MS would play no role in the success of school band, for its excellent origination. Another proof weakly supports the assumption for MS's musical contributions to SCHS.

That the quality of the music equipment has improved markedly over the past five years probably is not for MS's effort. It might be the time when music education was emphasized.

Regardless of the number of musical facilities, whether they are full use of gets doubtable. The quantity of instruments would not stand for the quality of their disposal. In

turn, more details affirming MS's abilities should be given in the memo. Whether the music programs designed by MS are popular? Or, do the music groups in the charge of MS sho-w their capabilities in most shows?  

Also, the author fails to make clear the difference between SCHS and SS, with MS's position shifting from music director to director for the general music education programs. As

one music director, MS only takes charge of several music teaching and directing at SCH. Suppose that MS accepts the job as a director for the general music education programs

at SS, he would be prone to be poor at management so that make a unavailable direction of development in general music education. For he might be good at concrete music direct such

as teaching how to express one song and how to co-operate for singing in a team.

In sum, the  author's conclusion is easily arguable. An arbitrary contrast with a fixable employer would not  only affect the lower efficiency of music teaching, but  also

influence profoundly on music performance in the entire SS system. Does MS really deserve this vital occupation?  The only way to make out this question, is evidences that MS

did contribute to the development of music in SCHS, and his efforts are needed for SS as well.

波波萨UID: 2456094

TOPIC: ARGUMENT26 - Thefollowing appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in thetown of Saluda. "For the past five years,Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, andduring that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. Inaddition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instrumentsat Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes atSteel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan anddirect the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."提纲：1，Mr. Charles Schade 作为music directo at Steel CityHigh School 是否成功很值得怀疑2，Steel City High School与Steel City High 不同，music director与director of general musiceducation programs不同。This memo is a one-sidedargument about promotion of Mr. Schade(MS) as director for the general musiceducation programs in the whole Saluda school(SS) system. The author points outsome evidences showing that what MS has have（had） to do with Steel City HighSchool(SCHS). However, there are still many hidden aspects of this suggestionthat he or she has overlooked or chosen to ignore.To begin with, whether MSsucceeded as music director at SCHS, stays dubious. Yet during his time, theschool band in SCHS has won three regional band competitions. Perhaps, SCHSwould has been famous for its school band for a long time for talent studentsand teachers in it. At the same time, there might be a good tradition aboutmember selection in school band to keep the best performers. Hence, with highquality of teachers and students, it is no wonder that SCH won three regionalband competitions continually. In this case, MS would play no role in thesuccess of school band, for its excellent origination.

Another proof weakly supportsthe assumption for MS's musical contributions to SCHS. That the quality of themusic equipment has improved markedly over the past five years probably is notfor MS's effort. It might be the time when music education was emphasized. Regardlessof the number of musical facilities, whether they are full use of getsdoubtable. The quantity of instruments would not stand for the quality of theirdisposal. In turn（in turn,轮流？这个词放这没看懂什么意思）, more details affirming MS's abilities should begiven in the memo. Whether the music programs designed by MS are popular? Or,do the music groups in the charge of MS show their capabilities in mostshows? Also, the author fails to makeclear the difference between SCHS and SS, with MS's position shifting frommusic director to director for the general music education programs. As onemusic director, MS only takes charge of several music teaching and directing atSCH. Suppose that MS accepts the job as a director for the general musiceducation programs at SS, he would be prone to be poor at management so thatmake a unavailable direction of development in general music education. For hemight be good at concrete music direct such as teaching how to express one songand how to co-operate for singing in a team. In sum,the author's conclusion is easily arguable. An arbitrary contrastwith a fixable employer would not only affect the lower efficiencyof music teaching, but also influence profoundly on musicperformance in the entire SS system. Does MS really deserve this vitaloccupation? The only way to make out this question, is evidencesthat MS did contribute to the development of music in SCHS, and his efforts areneeded for SS as well.（总体写的不错，不过我不知道ETS面对大量缩写的时候会有什么反应，至少我在新东方上课的时候我们老师就告诉我们，在作文中尽量少用缩写，尤其是自己生造的缩写）

[ 本帖最后由 波波萨 于 2008-3-12 15:06 编辑 ]