春节以来第一篇,求狠拍!!!

Sniper619UID: 2227152

水平有限,写的很烂.大家狠拍,以求进步~有拍必回拍(请给连接)~!

题目：In the last 20 years, the assessment of students has undergone major transformation. Many educational institutions no longer use formal examinations as a means of assessment as they believe.



The formal education last more than one thousand years in China and even over the world. With the faster and faster innovation society, a new advanced system of assessment of student become popular which take place the formal one and be widely accepted by more and more countries and people. As far as I am concerned, the positive effect the new education makes is obvious.

First and foremost, as a complete new appraising system, the assessment of a student mainly focus on the a long time performance, including the GPA of student, performance in course work and society activities and the attitude to study etc, No-doubtfully, which would be better show a student’s rank. And the number of high score but low quality pupils will be reduced and the resource of education would be used better.

Nevertheless, some parts of formal education can’t be taken place by new. Today, the examination still is a very important key to value a student’s level, and the examination like a clock, alarm the student to study and improve the efficiency.

Like the old says going: every coins have two sides. The formal education has a seriously disadvantage. The prior education take more focus on one to two examination scores that let many outstanding performance student who maybe take nervously on examination and get a bad scores lose the chance to get the further study which should be their. That is a terrible thing for really hard work student. Try think it, if the Newton get a 50% ranking scores in physical examination, can you say the Newton is bad at the physical?

So, to sum up, I think the reform of education has been taken and necessarily be taken. It brings us a lot of thinking and debate, but I think the positive effect obviously overweight than the negative.

forbeckUID: 2297645

单复数
很明显的模板格式
every coins have two sides老外不这么说。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Sniper619UID: 2227152

谢谢斑竹的评价.
水平太差了,能力有限.斑竹能谈谈怎么样练习作文才能取到比较好的成效?
还有我以前都是模版写作文,现在有点形成套路了...
其实这篇我都没有过模版...我在尝试脱离模版.
但是完全不用模版自己写的好象都不太好.又慢,还是基础太差了.
有没有好的办法呢?或者推荐点书?

safinazhuangUID: 2432942

1.With the faster and faster innovation society语法错误
2.which take place the formal one and be widely accepted 改为which takes the place of the fomal one and is widely accepted
3.as a complete new appraising system改为 as a completely new
4.mainly focus on the a long time performance 这句冠词重复
5.which would be better show a student’s rank这句语法错误
6.still is 颠倒了
7.是old saying 吧
8.has a seriously disadvantage 是serious
9.many outstanding performance student 定语有点奇怪
10.lose the chance 改losing
11. which should be their累赘
12.really hard work student 改 hard-working
13.Try think it改 try to think that
14.reform 改reformation
15.outweight改 outweighs

我建议楼主尝试把语法书看下，对句型还是有点帮助
不用看很深奥的，一般就可以了

[ 本帖最后由 safinazhuang 于 2008-3-20 19:18 编辑 ]

H-KevinUID: 2182070

多写，多看范文，多让水平高的人改，改完以后再好好看~~~

H-KevinUID: 2182070

作文互改活动:--TEAM WORK ,团队精神
希望作文修改的板油，最好不要等待别人主动给你修改，
建议你先修改论坛上别人的作文，然后把自己的作文链接留下给对方互改
如果你不愿意修改别人的作文，别人可能也有同样的想法
一份耕耘一份收获，强调互改，互相学习
寸有所长，尺有所短。不要顾忌自己水平低

67169619UID: 2320695

q强顶