Argument147 ＂为我所用＂作文小组第二次作业

ellisUID: 2256846

Argument147　＂为我所用＂作文小组第二次作业

147.The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past
two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales
trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what
features they thought were most important in a video game. According to
the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which
require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced
several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at
people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games.
It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to
increase dramatically in the next few months."

尽管Whirlwind游戏公司的游戏销量在过去两年中下降了，最近一次对于电子游戏玩家的调查显示这种销售趋势可能会逆转。该调查询问游戏玩家对于一个游戏来说他们所认为的最重要特征是什么。根据调查结果，玩家倾向于那些需要最先进的电脑的，具有活灵活现图象的游戏。Whirlwind刚刚面向10－25岁的人群开展了大力的广告活动来推广若干此类游戏，10－25岁是最喜欢玩游戏的年龄层。这说明Whirlwind公司的游戏销量将会在未来几个月中猛增。

                                                      
Merely depended on some unfounded assumptions and dubious evidences, the arguer comes to the conclusion that Whirlwind video games would reverse the sales from decrease two years ago to increase in the next few months. On the surface, the argument seems somewhat logical; in actuality, this alone neither provides compelling evidences nor organizes logical assumptions in favor of the conclusion.

The argument relies on the result of survey that players are favor of the providing lifelike graphics games, which require the most up-to-date computers. To begin with, the validity of the survey is doubtful. Lacking information about the number of players surveyed and what kinds of players surveyed, it is impossible to access to the validity of the survey. For example, if the number of players surveyed is very small such as 20 compared with the whole samples such as 5000, the result of the survey would seem unconvincing. And there is another possibility that all of the players surveyed are not 10 to 25 years old. If so, the assumption that the games Whirlwind video games introduced would be popular with 10 to 25 years old people would become meaningless. Unless these questions are answered, the result of the survey is worthless as evidence.

The arguer oversimplifies the relationship between introducing such games and the sales increase. The author fails to provide evidences that could indicate 10 to 25 years old people would buy these games after Whirlwind video games introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign. One liking something does not mean that he or she would buy it. And maybe there are several possible reasons for the players who are 10 to 25 years old refusing these games from Whirlwind. For instance, if designs of Whirlwind’s games are unjustifiable, or details of the games’ stories can not attract players, or vision and sound of the games are not comfortable, players would not possibly buy the games. Even though the players surveyed are all 10 to 25 years old people, perhaps they have not enough money to play these games because playing these games requires the most up-to-date computers, and most of these people who are 10 to 25 years old depend on their families taking their living expenses.

In addition, if prices of their games are high enough to resist players’ desire of buying them, they eventually would not buy. Moreover, maybe there is another analogous company to Whirlwind video games which is more excellent than Whirlwind, players also would not buy the games from Whirlwind video games.

To sum up, the conclusion reached in the argument lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to make the argument sound. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide the evidence concerning making the survey more thorough and more accurate. To better evaluate the argument, we need more information about the relationship between introducing such games and the sales increase. If the argument includes the given facts discussed above, the conclusion would be more adequate.

jenniferganUID: 2443583

Merely depended on some unfounded assumptions and dubious evidences, the arguer comes to the conclusion that Whirlwind video games would reverse the sales from decreased two years ago to increased in the next few months. On the surface, the argument seems somewhat logical; in actuality, this alone neither provides compelling evidences nor organizes logical assumptions in favor of the conclusion.

The argument relies on the result of survey that players are favor of the providing(去掉) lifelike graphics games, which require the most up-to-date computers. To begin with, the validity of the survey is doubtful. Lacking information about the number of players surveyed and what kinds of players surveyed, it is impossible to access to the validity of the survey. For example, if the number of players surveyed is very small such as 20 compared with the whole samples such as 5000, the result of the survey would seem unconvincing. And there is another possibility that all of the players surveyed are not 10 to 25 years old. If so, the assumption that the games Whirlwind video games introduced would be popular with 10 to 25 years old people would become meaningless. Unless(注意是除非的意思) these questions are answered, the result of the survey is worthless(worthful) as evidence.

The arguer oversimplifies the relationship between introducing such games and the sales increase. The author fails to provide evidences that could indicate 10 to 25 years old people would buy these games after Whirlwind video games introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign. One liking something does not mean that he or she would buy it. And maybe there are several possible reasons for the players who are 10 to 25 years old refusing these games from Whirlwind. For instance, if designs of Whirlwind’s games are unjustifiable, or details of the games’ stories can not attract players, or the effect of vision and sound of the games are not comfortable, players would not possibly buy the games. Even though the players surveyed are all 10 to 25 years old people, perhaps they have not enough money to play these games because playing these games requires the most up-to-date computers, and most of these people who are 10 to 25 years old depend on their families taking(改成for) their living expenses.

In addition, if prices of their games are high enough to resist players’ desire of buying them, they eventually would not buy. Moreover, maybe there is another analogous(similar) company to Whirlwind whose video games which(去掉) is more excellent than Whirlwind, players also would not buy the games from Whirlwind video games(video games 去掉).

To sum up, the conclusion reached in the argument lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to make the argument sound. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide the evidence concerning making the survey more thorough and more accurate. To better evaluate the argument, we need more information about the relationship between introducing such games and the sales increase. If the argument includes the given facts discussed above, the conclusion would be more adequate.

yt-sophiaUID: 2342654

Merely depended on some unfounded assumptions and dubious evidences, the arguer comes to the conclusion that Whirlwind video games would reverse the sales from decrease two years ago to increase in the next few months. On the surface, the argument seems somewhat logical; in actuality, this alone neither provides compelling evidences nor organizes logical assumptions in favor of the conclusion.（开头最好点一下major flaw，这样比较直观。）

The argument relies on the result of survey that players are favor of the providing lifelike graphics games, which require the most up-to-date computers. To begin with, the validity of the survey is doubtful. Lacking information about the number of players surveyed and what kinds of players surveyed, it is impossible to access to the validity of the survey. For example, if the number of players surveyed is very small such as 20 compared with the whole samples such as 5000, the result of the survey would seem unconvincing. And there is another possibility that all of the players surveyed are not 10 to 25 years old. If so, the assumption that the games Whirlwind video games introduced would be popular with 10 to 25 years old people would become meaningless. Unless these questions are answered, the result of the survey is worthless as evidence.

The arguer oversimplifies the relationship between introducing such games and the sales increase. The author fails to provide evidences that could indicate 10 to 25 years old people would buy these games after Whirlwind video games introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign. One liking something does not mean that he or she would buy it. And maybe there are several possible reasons for the players who are 10 to 25 years old refusing these games from Whirlwind. For instance, if designs of Whirlwind’s games are unjustifiable, or details of the games’ stories can not attract players, or vision and sound of the games are not comfortable, players would not possibly buy the games. Even though the players surveyed are all 10 to 25 years old people, perhaps they have not enough money to play these games because playing these games requires the most up-to-date computers, and most of these people who are 10 to 25 years old depend on their families taking their living expenses.

In addition, if prices of their games are high enough to resist players’ desire of buying them, they eventually would not buy. Moreover, maybe there is another analogous company to Whirlwind video games which is more excellent than Whirlwind, players also would not buy the games from Whirlwind video games..（我觉得这是一段比较合适，都是说不买他们家的原因）


To sum up, the conclusion reached in the argument lacks credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to make the argument sound. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide the evidence concerning making the survey more thorough and more accurate. To better evaluate the argument, we need more information about the relationship between introducing such games and the sales increase. If the argument includes the given facts discussed above, the conclusion would be more adequate.

[ 本帖最后由 yt-sophia 于 2008-3-25 20:22 编辑 ]