argument65 April小组 第二周作业

rubenUID: 2163558

65The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

In the memo, the author concludes that to improve profits in all the chain stores, the best way is to stop stocking imported cheese and focus primarily on domestic cheeses. Although it seems reasonable, careful examination of these evidences shows that none of them can give solid support to the conclusion.

First of all, the example of the newest store can not represent the real selling results of all the chain stores. After all, the chain of cheese stores is located throughout the United States, and people living in different place typically have different taste. It is completely possible that the imported cheeses are welcomed in many other stores which are located in different cities compared with the newest one. Without ruling out such possibility, the author can not conclude that the customers of all the stores prefer domestic cheeses.

In addition, there is no enough evidences to show that the survey by Cheeses of the World magazine strengths the author's conclusion. Perhaps the subscribers who prefer domestic cheeses are more likely to respond to the survey, so the result of survey covers the fact that more than a half subscribers prefer imported cheeses. Even assuming that there is an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among the magazine's subscribers, the author still can not ignore the possibility that these subscribers do not represent the taste of the customers of the chain stores.

Finally, granting that domestic cheeses are more popular than imported ones among the customers of the chain stores, it is still unbelievable that the best way to improve profits is to replace imported cheeses with domestic cheeses. As is well known, the profits are determined by both revenue and expense. The author does not provide any information about the profits of domestic cheeses and imported cheeses. Thus, it is entirely possible that selling domestic cheeses earns far less profits than selling imported cheeses with the same weight. So that this measure will improve profits or on the contrary is still pending on the air.

In a sum, the conclusion of the author depends on doubtful facts and analysis which make it unbelievable. To make the conclusion more reliable, we need know more evidences to reveal that most of the customers prefer domestic cheeses. And to reinforce the conclusion, the author should show that domestic cheeses do bring more profits than imported cheeses.

gingerleeUID: 2454321

In the memo, the author concludes that to improve profits in all the chain stores, the best way is to stop stocking imported cheese and focus primarily on domestic cheeses. Although it seems reasonable, careful examination of these evidences(感觉有点别扭，改：with careful consideration of these evidences,it） shows that none of them can give solid support to the conclusion.

First of all, the example of the newest store can not represent the real selling results of all the chain stores. After all,(感觉用一个表原因的连词会更有逻辑) the chain of cheese stores is located throughout the United States, and people living in different places typically have different taste. It is completely possible that the imported cheeses are welcomed in many other stores which are located in different cities compared with the newest one. Without ruling out such possibility, the author can not conclude that the customers of all the stores prefer domestic cheeses.（思路很清楚，表达也很清晰，语言若能多样一点，会增色不少比如表达不同的意思可以用different, various, vary, differ from,be distinct in etc）

In addition, there is(are) no enough evidences to show that the survey by Cheeses of the World magazine strengths the author's conclusion. Perhaps the subscribers who prefer domestic cheeses are more likely to respond to the survey, so the result of survey may/would coverthe fact that more than a half subscribers prefer imported cheeses.(这里用一个may or would来表示自己的推断，会显得更居于力争。) Even assuming that there is an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among the magazine's subscribers, the author still can not ignore the possibility that these subscribers do not represent the taste of the customers of the chain stores.

Finally, granting that domestic cheeses are more popular than imported ones among the customers of the chain stores, it is still unbelievable that the best way to improve profits is to replace imported cheeses with domestic cheeses. As is well known, the profits are determined by both revenue and expense. The author does not provide any information about the profits of domestic cheeses and imported cheeses. Thus, it is entirely possible that selling domestic cheeses earns far less profits than selling imported cheeses with the same weight. So that this measure will improve profits or on the contrary is still pending on the air.(这个未知两者利润的攻击点很好！体现作者的商业头脑)

In a sum, the conclusion of the author depends on doubtful facts and analysis which make it unbelievable. To make the conclusion more reliable, we need know more evidences to reveal that most of the customers prefer domestic cheeses. （这里如果再加上一句：president of the ccheese store如果果断地作出减少进口奶酪的库存会适得其反，可能导致更大的损失。会更有说理性！）And to reinforce the conclusion, the author should show that domestic cheeses do bring more profits than imported cheeses.

总结：
结构很清晰，攻击点也非常好，尤其是最后一点。语言结构多变一点会锦上添花！加油组长！我第一次修改arg请多指教！有空看看我的：）