Argument65 Aril 作文小组第三次作业

gingerleeUID: 2454321

谢谢 拍砖！！！

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
WORDS: 361          TIME: 00:53:00          DATE: 2008-3-25 21:57:39
提纲：
1奶酪公司董事得出的结论比较片面，不经过深思熟虑的全面调查而得出的决定可能造成奶酪公司损失。
2 去年一年的各连锁店的奶酪销售情况不能代表以后任何一时刻的情况。国产奶酪很有可能被进口奶酪取代。如今的消费者要求高，一旦发现进口奶酪优于国产奶酪，立刻会选择前者。
3 杂志的调查对象只是杂志的读者，并不代表所有的奶酪消费者。这可能误导奶酪公司董事作出决定。
4 作出任何决定前一定要全方位的了解事实真相，从而避免不必要的损失。


This memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores demonstrates his next strategic cheese sale method that the best way to improve profits in all of their stores is to discontinue stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese. Pursuing profits and making decisions must be based on the precise and overall investigation and research of the demanding of the domestic and imported cheeses respectively, or wrong and incorrect decisions may lead the cheese store to failure and even tremendous loss.


First of all, even assuming that last year , the best-selling cheeses at the newest cheeses stores were indeed all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin, it is nevertheless unfair to infer that next period time such like, this year or next year, would be the same condition as the one of last year. Perhaps, the result of the high sale in cheese may vary from the domestic cheese to the imported cheeses. Or perhaps both domestic and imported cheeses are popular and catering to the customers, since customers nowadays are critical of the food they choose. In addition, once they find the imported cheeses are superior to domestic ones in quality and taste, they would turn to the former ones without hesitation.

Furthermore, the Cheeses of the World magazine's conclusions about the increasing preference for domestic cheeses depend on the assumption that the survey results are statistically reliable. Yet, the survey from the magazine offers no evidence to substantiate this assumption, since they did the survey only among their subscriber, which can not represent the whole consumers of the cheese across the United States. Therefore, the president of the chain of cheese stores can't confidently draw any general conclusions from the survey  from the magazine about deciding to reduce expenses by limiting inventory of the imported cheeses and increasing the profits by concentrating on the domestic cheeses.

In conclusion, a further investigation is necessary and indispensable for the store to determine its next sale plan, if it is eager to reach another peak in its sale. Reckless determination would cause titanic loss. A household saying goes that and i paraphrase, we can never judge things from its cover.

[ 本帖最后由 gingerlee 于 2008-3-27 21:05 编辑 ]

rita_moyoUID: 2274069

1奶酪公司董事得出的结论比较片面，不经过深思熟虑的全面调查而得出的决定可能造成奶酪公司损失。
2 去年一年的各连锁店的奶酪销售情况不能代表以后任何一时刻的情况。国产奶酪很有可能被进口奶酪取代。如今的消费者要求高，一旦发现进口奶酪优于国产奶酪，立刻会选择前者。
3 杂志的调查对象只是杂志的读者，并不代表所有的奶酪消费者。这可能误导奶酪公司董事作出决定。
4 作出任何决定前一定要全方位的了解事实真相，从而避免不必要的损失。


This memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores demonstrates his next strategic（喜欢这个词） cheese sale method that the best way to improve profits in all of their stores is to discontinue stocking many of their varieties of imported cheese. Pursuing profits and making decisions must be based on the precise and overall investigation and research of the demanding of the domestic and imported cheeses respectively, or wrong and incorrect decisions may lead the cheese store to failure and even tremendous loss.（去年上新东方的时候老师说第一段的模式是将他的理由列举出来，可以一边输入一边思考逻辑错误。我想argu主要是根据常识反驳他的理由，而不是提出自己的观点，觉得你的后半句有点像建议）


First of all, even assuming （这么说感觉你认为去年国内奶酪好卖这件事有可能是错的，但是你却没有攻击它。在我印象中even assuming用于攻击第二个或后面的逻辑错误，就是有一个递进，和前面的分析有联系，进一步分析的感觉）that last year , the best-selling cheeses at the newest cheeses stores were indeed all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin, it is nevertheless unfair to infer that next period time such like, this year or next year, would be the same condition as the one of last year. Perhaps, the result of the high sale in cheese may vary from the domestic cheese to the imported cheeses.（此话怎讲呢？国产和进口奶酪热卖结果可能不同，说明什么问题呢？最好解释完全，让人一下子就看到你假设的情况得到的结果与他给出的结果不一样） Or perhaps both domestic and imported cheeses are popular and catering to the customers, since customers nowadays are critical of the food they choose（因为现在的人对事物很挑剔所以很有可能国产和进口奶酪都受欢迎？）. In addition, once they find the imported cheeses are superior to domestic ones in quality and taste, they would turn to the former ones without hesitation.

Furthermore, the Cheeses of the World magazine's conclusions about the increasing preference for domestic cheeses depend on the assumption that the survey results are statistically reliable. Yet, the survey from the magazine offers no evidence to substantiate this assumption, since they did the survey only among their subscriber, which can not represent the whole（whole 作“整体”解时，一般有强调所有个体间存在共同点或者有某种联系，而这里恰恰要强调不同） consumers of the cheese across the United States. Therefore, the president of the chain of cheese stores can't confidently draw any general conclusions from the survey  from the magazine about deciding to reduce expenses by limiting inventory of the imported cheeses and increasing the profits by concentrating on the domestic cheeses.

In conclusion, a further investigation is necessary and indispensable for the store to determine its next sale plan, if it is eager to reach another peak in its sale. Reckless determination would cause titanic loss. A household saying goes that and i paraphrase, we can never judge things from its cover.(这个有点像issue的名言论证）


总体感觉，还是不太熟悉argu的套路。写出逻辑错误，再证明。考试时时间不够的时候应该多写逻辑错误，少些总结概括类的话。紫色是我要学习的，绿色是我的建议。这个题目逻辑错误比较多，少说可以找到5个，有时间可以再写写或是练练思维。





[ 本帖最后由 rita_moyo 于 2008-3-28 01:09 编辑 ]

gingerleeUID: 2454321

恩 谢谢，rita 的建议，确实不熟悉argu的套路。新东方现在上课，写作课明天是第一节，这里写的是看了别人的范文自己总结的。我自己的感觉就是找到错的地方 然后写他错的原因。可能攻击这方面还需要改进。谢谢指点。