argu 18 生平第一次写GRE作文 各位给些意见吧 谢谢啦

guoguo914UID: 2379506

In this argument, the speaker presents a relatively sound case for arguing that in order to improve the safety of the Prunty Co-unty's roads, they should implement the same measure that increasing lane widths and resurfacing rough roads as what Buntler County did five years ago. To substantiate his assertion, the speaker gives the evidence that the present safety effort of P cou-nty has failed and cited the decrease of the percent of reported accidents in B county after taking the measure. The argument gives me the first impression of convictive and sound reasoning, however, through insightful and in-depth analysis, I find some  logic flaws that make the argument somewhat unreasonable.

The argument based on the assumption that no alternative means of improving the safety of P County’s roads are available.
Yet no strong and powerful evidence is provided to substantiate this assumption. no one can deny the fact that the possibility  e xists that other means or methods are more effective, for example, P County can give traffic security instructions and educa-tion to its people and set up more signs on all major county roads to alert the danger of overspeed. Without listing, considerin-g and evaluating these or other possible means, the speaker can not simply reach the conclusion that P County should take the same action as B County.

In addition, the argument relied on a false analogy and fails to take into account the inherent differences between P County and B County. Perhaps the same course of action that transplanting the policy of B County into P County would be ineffective  due to a myriad of differences, such as environmental condition of the road, the economic ability of the government and whether the people can adopt the resurfacing, widening of the road and so on.  As a result, the speaker made a oversimplified analogy. Without accounting for these and other possible dissimilarities, he cannot assume that what resulted in the decrease of the percent of reported accidents in B would bring about the same result in P County.

Moreover, the speaker did not provide sufficient evidences to claim that effort of P County had been failed. Since the accident rate throughout P County has decreased, though slightly, the speaker can not simply come to the conclusion that the recent measurement is futile.

In sum, the speaker's argument is not persuasive. To bolster it he must provide clearer evidence about the road situation and how much accidents can be attributable to the bad road situation.

zuominyu87UID: 2500319

虽然找出了错误,但并没有很好的反驳到作者的观点,觉得有点表述不清,所以还是要多读范文,学习别人是怎么把文章安排的条理清晰的,
还有感觉不好的就是,中间三段越写越少.让人觉得是在凑字数,结尾也太仓促了些
优点是用词还比较恰当,说明你基础不错.加油