麻烦大家改一下.回帖的我一定也帮您改.谢谢!~

gabby19832004UID: 2461820

Do you agree or disagree. The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone.

Several decades ago, as factories emerged and then boost, many people complained that they had suffered severe psychological problems because of industrialization. Today, more and more people feel stress unbearable. So we search for stress outlets deadly. But what would be the best way to relax oneself, that is, to be accompanied or stay alone? That depends on a case-by-case basis, yet to me, I prefer the former best.

First, stay alone could burden more stress to me. As we all know, girls like to talk with friends when they feel depressed. According to psychology, talking is a best way to reduce the tension. If I stay alone I could find myself keep thinking; and that would have nothing to do with stress release. On the contrary, friends could always provide unique view angles, which would make you feel very different.

Second reason for my contention is that spending too much time alone could make us feel stressful whatever we were happy at first. Corporation helps reducing stress. As I am saying at the beginning of this article, industrial life isolated individuals to a great extent by set up several single specialties. For example, in a car factory, project engineers have a specific working area that apart from industrial designers. Were they work closely, they could consult each other for help when facing difficulties as often as possible. Trying to figure out problems by oneself often stresses tension.

The third reason is that being accompanied we could have more activities to relief ourselves; while staying alone could never do that. Sports is a good way to reduce stress as well. Usually, we find ourselves relieved after doing exercises. To be specific, I like playing football when I feel upset. When I totally devoted in running, kicking, competing with other people, I feel myself delighted.

To sum up, to spend time alone would not be a good way to relax oneself to me. Perhaps it would tension the stress more seriously. To be contrast, being accompanied could release stress in several ways. So if it is up to me, I would not pass stressful days by myself.

双手的温柔UID: 173110

Do you agree or disagree. The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone.

Several decades ago, as factories emerged and then boost [boosted], many people complained that they had suffered severe psychological problems because of industrialization. Today, more and more people feel stress unbearable. So we search for stress outlets deadly. [deadly means what?] But what would be the best way to relax oneself, that is, [that is 去掉] to be accompanied or stay alone? That depends on a case-by-case basis, yet to me, I prefer the former best.

First, stay alone could burden [create/impose/put... on] more stress to me. As we all know, girls like to talk with friends when they feel depressed. According to psychology, talking is a best way to reduce the tension. If I stay alone I could find myself keep thinking [I will find myself keep worrying/ thinking about negative things?? thinking 本身应该没什么问题]; and that would have nothing to do with stress release [would not help stress release]. On the contrary, friends could always provide unique view angles, which would make you feel very different. [console you. ]

Second reason for my contention is that spending too much time alone could make us feel stressful whatever we were happy at first. Corporation helps reducing stress. As I am saying at the beginning of this article, [as i mentioned before] industrial life isolated [isolates] individuals to a great extent by set[setting] up several single specialties. For example, in a car factory, project engineers have a specific working area that apart from industrial designers. Were [when] they work closely, they could consult each other for help when facing difficulties as often as possible. Trying to figure out problems by oneself often stresses tension.

The third reason is that being accompanied we could have more activities to relief [relieve] ourselves; while staying alone could never do that. Sports is a good way to reduce stress as well. Usually, we find ourselves relieved after doing exercises. To be specific, I like playing football when I feel upset. When I totally devoted in running, kicking, competing with other people, I feel myself delighted.

To sum up, to spend [spending] time alone would not be a good way to relax oneself to me. Perhaps it would tension the stress more seriously. To be contrast, being accompanied could release stress in several ways. So if it is up to me, I would not pass stressful days by myself.

论点清晰，说理充分，注意小错误。^^

我的在这：
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-858722-1-1.html

[ 本帖最后由 双手的温柔 于 2008-7-17 16:25 编辑 ]

gabby19832004UID: 2461820

帮你改好拉,查收一下.

cai5582UID: 2261123

我觉得第一个论点和第二个论点有点重复了 记得评分标准里面有个重要的标准就是论点要是并列的 也就是不能重复
stay alone could burden more stress to me.（staying）
friends could always provide unique view angles, which would make you feel very different.我觉得这个句子可以再具体一点还有unique view angles？？？不懂
嘿嘿 改的第二篇作文 不是很会改:confused: