issue201 The purpose of education should be to provide stud

小丸子sh2002UID: 111691

Topic 1: The purpose of education should be to provide students with a value system , a standard , a set of ideas – not to prepare them for a specific job .

In our society ,more and more colleges and universities have become a skill-training organization who almost aim at training students to be suitable for a specific position .However, the essence of education is not to train students with proficient skills but to foster them with a value system,a standard and a set of ideas .

Firstly of all ,education is to provide talents with a value system . What does a value system mean to a person’s development ? It is the beacon of the sea in one’s life , the frame of building one’s career , the impetus to forward ahead along the long life road . It is schools where could help students who are readily to accept new information and ideas at school to shape their value systems which is the most proper place to fulfill the job . It is unimaginable for a guy to be melted into the society after graduation if he just obtained thousands of technical skill without any value system when he was at school .

The purpose of education is to provide students with a standards of how to conduct themselves and deal with things . Just like the society which has a series of regulation and laws ,individuals should have a set of principles under which we can discriminate what is the right or the wrong . Obviously , a standard is crucial to a student’s development in his career without which he inches difficultly though he is skillful . For example ,to be a manager , one need to communicate ,administrate or conduct his subordinates in a common acceptabe ways that is components of a standard .

The purpose of education is to provide students with a set of ideas which render them personalities .Although a standard is important to a student ,it is consequent that one should have his own ideas – personality for each person is a different individual with respective specialities. Without a set of ideas , especially original ideas , students would lack of origination and invention which push the development of the society . Companies welcome ,even is of great need ,those graduations who are of originality what would bring new profitable points.

Without a value system, a standard and a set of ideas , students who are proficient in many skills are  little of catering to the society, though technique is of vital importance to a student in the specific job. Consequently , it is education ‘s job to fulfill it .

welldog_weiUID: 136057

我不是斑竹，能不能会阿？正好刚写了这片的提纲

In our society ,more and more colleges and universities have become a skill-training organization

who almost aim at training students to be suitable for a specific position .However, the essence of

education is not to train students with proficient skills but to foster them with a value system,a

standard and a set of ideas .
（开头简洁，明了，我喜欢。可能有点大众化，模板化，不过我是想不到更好的开头了。）

Firstly of all ,education is to provide talents with a value system . What does a value system mean to

a person’s development ? It is the beacon of the sea in one’s life , the frame of building one’s

career , the impetus to forward ahead along the long life road . It is schools where could help

students who are readily to accept new information and ideas at school to shape their value systems

which is the most proper place to fulfill the job . It is unimaginable for a guy to be melted into the

society after graduation if he just obtained thousands of technical skill without any value system

when he was at school .
(用比喻很好很形象，再用点名言，或具体事例就更有说服力了。比喻之后的两句话是基本是废

话，重复罗索不能有力论证（恕我直言）。使者把value system具体化，以一两个有代表性的深

入论证是不是会好一点？ )

The purpose of education is to provide students with a standards of how to conduct themselves and

deal with things . Just like the society which has a series of regulation and laws ,individuals should

have a set of principles under which we can discriminate what is the right or the wrong . Obviously , a

standard is crucial to a student’s development in his career without which he inches difficultly though

he is skillful . For example ,to be a manager , one need to communicate ,administrate or conduct his

subordinates in a common acceptabe ways that is components of a standard .
(个人感觉例子有点不恰当,而且太泛泛, 多用几个平行的具体的例子加强一下论证,因为感觉这段

较薄弱.)

The purpose of education is to provide students with a set of ideas which render them personalities

.Although a standard is important to a student ,it is consequent that one should have his own ideas –

personality for each person is a different individual with respective specialities. Without a set of

ideas , especially original ideas , students would lack of origination and invention which push the

development of the society . Companies welcome ,even is of great need ,those graduations who

are of originality what would bring new profitable points.
(看到这感觉三段的中心句句式一样的,可以变换一下, 用到装阿什么的,还能起承上启下的作用,具

体可以参考ets范文。)

Without a value system, a standard and a set of ideas , students who are proficient in many skills are

little of catering to the society, though technique is of vital importance to a student in the specific job.

Consequently , it is education ‘s job to fulfill it .
（结尾句子太长了，我不知道你到底强调什么，个人觉得有时句子短一点也很有说服力）

个人感觉你的文章，中心明确，结构清楚，语言也很流利，用词比我丰富，精当多了。但是论

证的深度、力度上好像差点儿。
这个题目a value system , a standard , a set of ideas这三点的重叠很大，作为三段平行论证，就

必须强调各自的特点。也可以事事其他的思路。我有空也要写这篇文章。

第一次给别人改文章，全是想到什么说什么，如果我的意见很naive，请多多包涵了！