我的作文,大家来拍啊

ssinniUID: 2359598

每次写完作文都不忍心再看下去,想修改又不知道怎么修改.大家帮我看看吧~~
Assignment:Is there always another point of view?
Life is fraught with complex situations,where the solution or answer is not that straightforward.Every condition has its own benefits and drawbacks.
No one is perfect.A good example can be found in the world-famous novel,gone with the wind,by Margeret Mitchell.the leading character,Scarlett is a very controversial person.clever and prudent as she is ,she has helped her craven husband run a company,which gains a substantial profit annually and helps her established her status in the society.However,Scarlett is also very sly.The strategems she uses to sustain her company are sometimes illegal or even malicious,exploiting slavors,conducting illicit trade,to name but a few.So she is not so impeccable in some extent.The virtue and the flaw both exist in her character,which made Scarlett more realistic and appealing.
. E5 t+ F( E/ H8 M3 R) L. g  b: XHistory can also provide us numerous incidence,where people are overwhelmed by transient triumph and neglect the insidious risk.In the beginning of Civil War ,the South Ally was at advantage.However the troop is overconfident about the current situation which leads them to the fatal defeat.As soon as Lincoln adopted a new strategy,the advantage leaned towards the North.Within several months,the North troop conquered many town and became a cutthroat threat to the South.The battle ended with the ultimate success of the North.Judging from the beginning,no one would predict North’s triumph.However,history is not that plain,instead,there is full of changes and unexpected circumstances.
The two compelling examples convinced me there’s always a “however” whatever the situation is.

深海lavenderUID: 2350207

首先字数实在太少了........虽然说只要写的好,字数少点没关系,但是毕竟太少了就写不出那么多东西了.况且RATER对字数还是有点在意的.字数和分数正相关.

其次,从大方面来说,你建立了两个分论点,虽然都是在HOWEVER这个大论点下的,但是这样不符合SAT作文主旨.SAT作文最主要是想让你先确定一个很SPECIFIC的论点,把题目SPECIFY一下,比如就可以用你的第一个论点.每个人性格中的不同成分.然后下文最好用一个EXTENDED的例子描写,可以就用SCARLETT的那个.也可以再写一个,但是论点最好不要变,换另外一个人而已.
  s6 [# f$ E5 j0 h$ e
$ b0 y+ `  L; C7 Z8 e  I# c4 s8 ?+ Z从每个段落来说,每个例子分析的不够,只是简单阐述了一点东西.另外,句子之间连接不够流畅.
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" Q, q( z( p" \5 S不过别灰心,问题找出来以后一个个解决就好了.加油加油.:)

3 S! `. F! S6 f" |4 x, u卖个瓜,这个是我的SAT ESSAY经验帖,可以看看:
" a+ @& m& x; j0 A; p) C) ?) Ehttps://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=832402&highlight=

ssinniUID: 2359598

恩恩~~谢谢深海
还有怎样才能让自己的语言不再生硬?

small_Sky_chinaUID: 2421636

多背点好文章~~~多接触原版材料~~~~多留心积累~~~说来说去就那几条.......只要认认真真就行~~~~`

深海lavenderUID: 2350207

同LS,多看看原版小说,多揣摩范文的写法.
# X$ W) e+ B1 I! Q1 n: u/ b这个是积累的过程,心急不得.但只要用心去看去揣摩,一定时间内也会有很大长进.
加油.:)
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) D; V; |+ l6 gP.S.要叫深海姐姐.嘿嘿.;d:

ssinniUID: 2359598

原来是JJ,我还一直以为是GG;d:

冰棒汽水ECHOUID: 2289028

回复 #6 ssinni 的帖子
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回复 #5 深海lavender 的帖子
又75人家;d:

深海lavenderUID: 2350207

呃.........我是该开心我长的帅还是该难过我都不像女生..............