诚心大作文求拍,怎么考都过不了6,求救

nbdxkfqUID: 2427134

考了3次了,作文都是5.5,一点都没有变,真是郁闷死了,上次就作文少半分,看到寄托有互相改作文的,就发上来,同时也帮别人看看,虽然自己水平不好,就当拜读大家的佳作了,谢谢大家了~~~

以下是题目和我写的内容,谢谢~~作文一共312个字,貌似有点多~~~不过每次都写很多,不知道怎么能少点,嘿嘿

1. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.??<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
   
2. A government's role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community.
   
3. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
   
4. You should write at least 250 words.??
   
5. You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
   
6. 
   
7. 
   
8. 
   
9. In our society, a topic that whether the government only plays the role in defence ability and the cities' basic structure, and other projects, such as education, healthy and social security, should be supported by individual or private groups has been discussed widely. In my observation, government should play the critical roe in doing the things mentioned above, and people who have the enough ability can support the government to provide the services.
   
10. 
    
11. At the first place, all these projects described in the first paragraph require a lot of money, and the government has the capability to afford the cost. Indeed, in today's society, an increasing number of people have much money, whereas the money, which has to be used to support themselves and their families, cannot be spent completely to provide services. Conversely, the government have so much money that they can easily afford to provide all kind of service, as well as defence ability and cities' infrastructure.
    
12. 
    
13. However, the whole country is so big that the government cannot content everybody's demand, then, people who have a lot of money can show their ability to provide services. Taking education as an example, government can build a lot of schools for most students, whereas, in some mountain areas, students still do not have the chance to attain knowledge, at this time, individual can take these children out of the mountain areas, and pay for their education cost, or private groups can build small schools for these children and buy books and instruments for them.
    
14. 
    
15. All in all, government should play the main role to provide all kinds of services, and individual and private groups can finish what the government forgets to do or what it does not care about to make people more comfortable. In that case, the life of the people who live in the country will be better and better.

复制代码

forbeckUID: 2297645

希望作文修改的板油，最好不要等待别人主动给你修改，
建议你先修改论坛上别人的作文，然后把自己的作文链接留下给对方互改
如果你不愿意修改别人的作文，别人可能也有同样的想法
一份耕耘一份收获，强调互改，互相学习
寸有所长，尺有所短。不要顾忌自己水平低

这里正好有一篇:handshake
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-860956-1-3.html

楼主不用太着急，在作文口语增加了半分制后，我见过一些英专的，作文都是5.5的