argument194 eaglewatch NO.2 第四次作业 冲刺

eaglewatchUID: 2374680

题目：ARGUMENT194 - A recent study suggests that people who are left-handed are more likely to succeed in business than are right-handed people. Researchers studied photographs of 1,000 prominent business executives and found that 21 percent of these executives wrote with their left hand. So the percentage of prominent business executives who are left-handed (21 percent) is almost twice the percentage of people in the general population who are left-handed (11 percent). Thus, people who are left-handed would be well advised to pursue a career in business, whereas people who are right-handed would be well advised to imitate the business practices exhibited by left-handers.
字数：486          用时：0:30:00          日期：2008-8-4

In the report, merely based on the unfounded assumption and dubious evidence, the speaker draws a assertive conclusion that left-handed people are more likely to succeed in business, citing the "facts" and evidence that :(1):21% of executives wrote with left hand on the study of photographs of 1000 prominent business; (2)21% of people is twice the percentage of people in the general population who are left-handed. At the first glance, the argument appears to be somewhat convincing; however, further reflection reveals that it omits some substantial concerns that should be addressed in this argument. In a word, this statement suffers from several flaws.

First and foremost, the arguer attempts to prove that left-handed people would be better in the area of business than right-handed ones concerning the evidence that percentages of elites in business are twice the ones in general. As a matter of fact, there is no causal relationship between the above that. It is entirely possible that the right-handed people own more percentage than the left; however the statement fails to provide that information. Obviously, the arguer ignores these possibilities so that draw a flawed assumption.

Secondly, the arguer asserts that the success of left-handed ones, with the study regarding the photographs of prominent business executives. Even though the left-hands really play a greater role in business than right ones, the photograph can illustrate nothing but the photograph--it is very likely that the executives used to be right-handed ones, nevertheless when taking photos, we hold pens in the left hand. Another possibility is also evident and clear. The research lacks the consideration about the ones who can use both the right and the left. This situation cannot be illustrated clearly--after all every count will lead to the wrong number. However, the arguer belittles these possibilities so that the appearance of flaws assertion comes true.

Finally, the arguer claims that left handed ones would be well advised to pursue a career in business whereas the right-handed ones would imitate the left-handed ones. Even if the left-handed ones have a talent in business and do well in it, whether the right-handed ones should follow and imitate them cannot be assertive decided--after all, it does not mean the right-handed ones lacks the fortune, opportunity , even the ability to succeed in business. Maybe they own other excellent talent in business. It is a pity that the arguer ignores these merits in right-handed people.

To sum up, the statement suffers from several flaws as we discussed above. To substantiate the statement as it stands, the speaker would have to provide more information about the reliability concerning with the photographs; what's more, he should have a far more careful and plausible consideration with the left and the right. The last, he'd better make a deeper survey about the talent of right-handed ones in business. If the statement would have these discussed above, it would be a better one.

chenhaozUID: 2525010

In the report, merely based on the unfounded assumption and dubious evidence, the speaker draws a assertive conclusion that left-handed people are more likely to succeed in business, citing the "facts" and evidence that 21% of executives wrote with left hand on the study of photographs of 1000 prominent business and 21% of people is twice the percentage of people in the general population who are left-handed. The argument omits some substantial concerns that should be addressed, suffering from several flaws.

First and foremost, the arguer attempts to prove that left-handed people would be better in the area of business than right-handed ones concerning the evidence that percentages of the left-handed in business are twice them in general. As a matter of fact, there is no causal relationship. It is entirely possible that right-handed elites of business is of higher percentage. Obviously, the arguer ignores these possibilities, to draw a flawed assumption.

Secondly, the arguer asserts that the success of left-handed ones, with the study regarding the photographs of prominent business executives. Even though the left-hands really play a greater role in business than right ones, the photograph can illustrate nothing but the photograph, since it is very likely that the executives used to be right-handed ones, nevertheless when taking photos, they hold pens in the left hand. The research lacks the consideration about the ones who can use both the right and the left, too. The arguer belittles these possibilities, so the appearance of flawed assertion comes up in the argument.

Finally, the arguer claims that left handed ones would be well advised to pursue a career in business whereas the right-handed ones not. Even if the left-handed ones have a talent in business and do well in it, whether the right-handed ones should follow and imitate them cannot be assertive decided. The right-handed ones may not lack the fortune, opportunity , eve the ability to succeed in business. The arguer ignores these merits in right-handed people.

To sum up, the statement suffers from several flaws discussed above. To substantiate the statement as it stands, the speaker would have to provide more information about the reliability concerning with the photographs. What's more, he should have a far more careful and plausible consideration with the left and the right. Finally, he'd better make a deeper survey about the talent of right-handed ones in business. After that, it would be a better one.

wendyhapUID: 2526663

ARGUMENT194 - A recent study suggests that people who are left-handed are more likely to succeed in business than are right-handed people. Researchers studied photographs of 1,000 prominent business executives and found that 21 percent of these executives wrote with their left hand. So the percentage of prominent business executives who are left-handed (21 percent) is almost twice the percentage of people in the general population who are left-handed (11 percent). Thus, people who are left-handed would be well advised to pursue a career in business, whereas people who are right-handed would be well advised to imitate the business practices exhibited by left-handers.
字数：486          用时：0:30:00          日期：2008-8-4

In the report, merely based on the unfounded assumption and dubious evidence, the speaker draws a(an) assertive conclusion that left-handed people are more likely to succeed in business, citing the "facts" and evidence that (1):21% of executives wrote with left hand on the study of photographs of 1000 prominent business; (2)21% of people is twice the percentage of people in the general population who are left-handed. At the first glance, the argument appears to be somewhat convincing; however, further reflection reveals that it omits some substantial concerns that should be addressed in this argument. In a word, this statement suffers from several flaws.

First and foremost, the arguer attempts to prove that left-handed people would be better in the area of business than right-handed ones concerning the evidence that percentages of elites in business are twice the ones in general. As a matter of fact, there is no causal relationship between the above that.(?) It is entirely possible that the right-handed people own more percentage than the left; however the statement fails to provide that information. Obviously, the arguer ignores these possibilities so that draw (draws)a flawed assumption.

Secondly, the arguer asserts that the success of left-handed ones, with the study regarding the photographs of prominent business executives. (此句缺谓语)Even though the left-hands really play a greater role in business than right ones, the photograph （s）can illustrate nothing but the photograph--it is very likely that the executives used to be right-handed ones, nevertheless when taking photos, we hold pens in the left hand. Another possibility is also evident and clear. The research lacks the consideration about the ones who can use both the right and the left. This situation cannot be illustrated clearly--after all every count will lead to the wrong number. However, the arguer belittles these possibilities so that the appearance of flaws assertion comes true.

Finally, the arguer claims that left handed ones would be well advised to pursue a career in business whereas the right-handed ones would imitate the left-handed ones. Even if the left-handed ones have a talent in business and do well in it, whether the right-handed ones should follow and imitate them cannot be assertive decided(让步语气，用得好)--after all, it does not mean the right-handed ones lacks(去掉s) the fortune, opportunity , even the ability to succeed in business. Maybe they own other excellent talent in business. It is a pity that the arguer ignores these merits in right-handed people.

To sum up, the statement suffers from several flaws as we discussed above. To substantiate the statement as it stands, the speaker would have to provide more information about the reliability concerning with the photographs; what's more, he should have a far more careful and plausible consideration with the left and the right. The last, he'd better make a deeper survey about the talent of right-handed ones in business. If the statement would have these discussed above, it would be a better one.

点评：
1，        有小错误，多为单复数等小语法错误。在写作时更加认真或者习作完成后修改可以解决此问题。
2，        用词新颖。可以看出作者有在着意用词，全文同意词但单词不同的地方很多，可见作者单词量的优势在作文中有体现。
3，        有闪光句型，总体上来说前半部分比后半部分更加出彩、严谨。但有些句子还是比较拗口，逻辑上错误找得比较得当，语言组织不错。