COMEON-----作文小组 devilkineleven 8.31作业

devilkinelevenUID: 2442869

Though today's energy resourses are largely from fossil fuels, oil, gas, we have put great effort in tapping and applying new energies. I believe new energies will replace old energies sooner or later.

To begin with, it is impossible to rely solely on old energies, like fossile fuels, oil and gas to sustain the development of society. For one thing, old energies are unrenewable, thus are likely to be used up. Scientists estimated that, coal would be depleted in near future if no substitue energies were found. It is the same with oil and gas. Once there is lack of energy, factories are facing great problems and there is no way to reuse the old energies. For another thing, using old energies may cause a lot environmental problems. For example, cutting woods leads to desertation and buring coal polluted the air.

Comparing with old energies, we can find new energies have advantages which will finally lead them to replace old energies. Firstly, new energies are renewable. For example, solar energy from the heat of sun, can provide sustained power as long as the sun rises. Second, using new energies does not bring too much pollution to earth. Because of this reason, new energies, the power from sun, wind and water are called clean energy.

To sum up, new energies are renewable and clean while old energies are not. With these two advantanges, new energies are going to replace old energies in near future.

yuanhu124UID: 2444317

首先，字数不够。其次，错误拼写过多。再者，结构也显得简单了一些，最好加一些例子。共同努力吧！

Though today's energy resourses (resources) are largely from fossil fuels, oil, gas, (这里不对，oil和gas都是fossil fuels的一种，可能是你没看清出题目哦)we have put great effort in tapping and applying new energies. I believe new energies will replace old energies sooner or later.
To begin with, it is impossible to rely solely on old energies, like fossile（又拼写错了哦） fuels, oil and gas to sustain the development of society. For one thing, old energies are unrenewable（这个词也不对吧，感觉像是生造出来的一样，是不是用not renewable更好呢）, thus are likely to be used up.（这句话没主语了，建议将thus改成they） Scientists estimated that, coal would be depleted in near future if no substitue（再次拼写错误，应该是substitute） energies were found. It is the same with oil and gas. Once there is lack of energy, factories are facing(will face，条件句用一般现在时，后面就该用一般将来时) great problems and there is no way to reuse the old energies. For another thing, using old energies may cause a lot environmental problems. For example, cutting woods leads to desertation（还是拼写错误，本意用“沙漠化”是好的，但是~~应该是desertification） and buring(这个词错了就不应该了，前面几个词可能是想用big word，在变化的时候出错，但是这种简单的词再出错就说不过去了。从OG上的例文可能，如果这样的错误有上几个的话，直接就降一个档次了) coal polluted the air.
Comparing with old energies, we can find new energies have advantages which will finally lead them to replace old energies. Firstly, new energies are renewable. For example, solar energy from the heat of sun,（这里也有问题，去掉逗号，或者把前面的from the heat of sun变成插入语） can provide sustained power as long as the sun rises. Second, using new energies does not bring too much pollution to earth（earth前加the，前面sun的前面也要加the）. Because of this reason, new energies, the power from sun, wind and water are called clean energy.
To sum up, new energies are renewable and clean while old energies are not. With these two advantanges（又一次在这种简单词上出错，要注意了哦。应该是advantages）, new energies are going to replace old energies in near future.

[ 本帖最后由 yuanhu124 于 2008-9-1 13:07 编辑 ]

devilkinelevenUID: 2442869

谢谢。我本来就粗心，又没好好写，辛苦你了。