作文一篇，求拍

Vicky2015UID: 2509133

Assignment: Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it is?
6 P8 |$ R( q: S3 B8 `; Q. W* q  People, in a large scale, have developed a habit to believe what they see. Those impressions may sometimes have an element of truth in it, on the other hand, is not always exactly the same as what actually is. Whether it is in our understanding of personality, science, or society, the phenomenon exists.
8 L0 E9 H4 m- V  C5 p: z$ D  Jane Austen explained the idea clearly in her novel Pride and Prejudice. Elisabeth held a biased opinion of Mr. Darcy’s disposition, on the first impression, which later developed into a loathing towards him. The amiable and loyal gentleman, in the casual observation, was mistaken to be selfish and conceited, and was even, by Elisabeth, regarded as the last man in the world she would ever be prepared upon to marry. It took our heroine a long time to discover his true personality. In the light of this statement, what it seems is not always what it really is.
  Another example in point is in scientific discoveries. Aristotle firstly announced that the speed of a falling object is in direct proportion to its mass, for a stone obviously falls faster than a feather does. However, centuries later, this conclusion drawn by former observation was impugned by Galileo, who held several most carefully planed and operated experiments. Great innovations, not only which of Galileo’s are always held in this way, proving that former believes by first impressions actually wrong.
  There are social problems caused by untrue impressions as well. 1920s witnessed the so-called thriving of the world’s economy, which was later proved to be a prelude of the disastrous Great Depression. The appearance of prosperity hid the essence of poverty, which filled the society with hunger, crime, despair and the danger of war.
9 k( e4 z! n2 m) q4 [. ^; |  Throughout human history, we have myriad problems caused by people’s gullibility towards appearance. Though those impression may help us form an understanding rapidly, the understanding is not always true.

卡着点写完的，后来打的时候改掉了一些拼写和语法错误。
由于受托福的影响，写的八股了点，不知是不是会有死板的嫌疑，之前把一些作文交给XDF改，总是被提醒要注意the choice of words，但是该怎样做我还是不清楚。请大家顺便给点建议。
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PS：上回在11套题上看到了这样的一个作文题：What two options are the most difficult to choose between?（page 309）顿时我就傻眼了~这种题目要怎么写呢？怎么说XX和XX是最难抉择的呢？？
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; I$ V' p: I* l2 q0 b* h- J9 p9 q[ 本帖最后由 Vicky2015 于 2008-9-8 22:57 编辑 ]

HeswingUID: 2218592

我觉得写得不错。其实SAT作文我是这样来把握的，每段有个中心句，第一句。几段之间develop，我觉得你这篇文章的develop观点就很好，写社会的那段。
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6 O, n/ s! D* U/ R3 A' |那个题目啊，很多都是很难抉择的，比如说工作和身体，还有很多例子吧，在生活中，很多时候鱼和熊掌不可兼得。:handshake

AdamasUID: 2127982

我也觉得不错

l_dongliUID: 2488893

Assignment: Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it is?
-H[1]b(M&j zG3O6^  People, in a large scale（on a large scale大规模地）, have developed a habit to（habit后经常是of doing不是TO DO） believe（我感觉这里加in好） what they see. Those impressions may sometimes have an element of truth in it, on the other hand（这个不是连词不能连接两句话）, is not always exactly the same as what （they缺主语）actually is（are与上文一致）. Whether（不明白，是whenever么？） it is in our understanding of personality, science, or society, the phenomenon exists.
; C! A4 j/ D& }% f+ j. [* H9 |0zJ2V,W)d_  Jane Austen explained the idea clearly in her novel Pride and Prejudice. Elisabeth held a biased opinion of Mr. Darcy’s disposition, on the first impression, which later developed into a loathing towards him. The amiable and loyal gentleman, in the casual observation, was mistaken to be selfish and conceited, and was even, by Elisabeth, regarded as the last man in the world she would ever be prepared upon to marry（这里介词好啊！）. It took our heroine a long time to discover his true personality. In the light of this statement, what it seems is not always what it really is.#fC:tl2v5ZM  Another example in point is in scientific discoveries. Aristotle firstly announced that the speed of a falling object is in direct proportion to its mass, for a stone obviously falls faster than a feather does. However, centuries later, this conclusion drawn by former observation was impugned by Galileo, who held several most carefully planed（名词？形容词？） and operated experiments. Great innovations, not only which of Galileo’s are always held in this way, proving that former believes（这个动词么？句子好象乱我没懂~从句么？那还by？应该believed？要不就是后面少个BE动词？） by first impressions actually wrong.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE+s6hN |
There are social problems caused by untrue impressions as well. 1920s（正式作文最好写全） witnessed the so-called thriving of the world’s economy, which was later proved to be a prelude of the disastrous Great Depression. The appearance of prosperity hid the essence of poverty, which filled the society with hunger, crime, despair and the danger of war.
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m\‑dbbs.gter.net  Throughout human history, we have myriad problems caused by people’s gullibility towards appearance. Though those impressionS may help us form an （个人觉得这里加个first之类的更好）understanding rapidly, the（THIS会不会好些？） understanding is not always true.(Y
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恩恩

[ 本帖最后由 l_dongli 于 2008-9-9 08:56 编辑 ]

AdamasUID: 2127982

believe 后面不应该加 in吧，那样就变成信任了，这里应该是要表达相信的意思吧

Vicky2015UID: 2509133

谢谢大家这么热情的提出意见~
( T$ W! n& n: c5 j0 o* H: L) x欢迎更多人来拍