雅思作文修改

yingyuangUID: 2503723

各位xdjm，能帮我看看剑4 Test4 的小作文吗？多谢了
The char show the number of the UK residents who traveled abroad, as well as thenumber of the overseas residents who visited the UK during 1979 and 1999.

Throughout that period, the UK travelers consistentlyoutnumbered the overseas visitors. Nevertheless, the numbers of both groupswere pretty small until about 1986, less than 20 million. However, from thenon, the number of the UK visitorsincreased drastically to around 40 million in 1999, while the number of theoverseas people to the UKclimbed much slowly, with just over 25 million at the same time.

In addition, the second graph also comparesthe numbers of the UKvisitors to the selected five countries in 1999. Among these countriesmentioned, France and Spain were the most and the second popularplaces, attracting approximately 8 million and 12 million of the UK visitors. Inthe third place, we find the USAwith a total number of about 3 million UKvisitors, closely followed by the Greece. The least attractivecountry was Turkey, whichhad the relatively small number of only nearly 2 million UK travelers.

In conclusion, the UK people are more likely to travel abroad thanthe overseas persons visit the UK,and moreover, the UKtends to visit those countries nearest geographically.

饱饭仔UID: 2505959

小作文不太好改的...这个属于说明文...额
你上传个图,我帮你看看

yingyuangUID: 2503723

非常感谢
相片在 http://photo.163.com/photo/ying. ... i=130080912&p=1

饱饭仔UID: 2505959

有点个人意见,第一张是CURVE,那么,最好是一段写一条线,这样比较类容比较单一,思想也比较清晰
至于第二BAR CHART,从大到写就好了
这个BAR CHART属于比较容易的
注意单词拼写和先后顺序等等一些细节问题
加油加油!!

yingyuangUID: 2503723

非常感谢

yingyuangUID: 2503723

几分列？

饱饭仔UID: 2505959

不打分...我不是高手,也不是考官
只是看官