COMEON小组--------yuanhu124 9.20 作业

yuanhu124UID: 2444317

这个题目不好写啊~~

As the rapid development of modern society needs more and more communication with others, it is an essential quality to express yourself smoothly and clearly. For most of us, speaking to others is far more used in the daily life than writing. Therefore, I definitely believe that to speak well is more important than to write well.

To begin with, speaking is the main communication way in the daily life. Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, you have to talk to other for the information. We can learn about this by supposing one man's life in a day. When he gets up in the morning, he has to talk with his family members in the breakfast time. Then he has to speak to his customs or colleagues in the workplace. Maybe there would be an oral presentation waiting for him. He may also go to a bar or cafe with his friends in the night for fun. He needs to tell some interesting stories or jokes with his friends. So, you see how important the speaking skill is in one's daily life.

Furthermore, speaking well can help one to organize the logic and thinking in the writing. Researchers have found that the logic of the human beings depends on the words how they speak. One with excellent speaking capacity can not only do well in the lecture or talk, but also can be a master in the writing. Take one of my friends for example, he is a good speaker, and once won the championship in a speech competition. When he looked for a job after graduation, he gained a high score in the written examination as well as the interview. Consequently, it is crucial for a person to exercise his speaking skill in the modern society.

Admittedly, to write well is the fundamental requirement for some of the occupations, such as secretary, journalist, and writer. Nevertheless, in the daily life, they need to communicate with others in speaking. So, as what have been discussed above, we can come to the conclusion that speaking well weighs more than writing well in contemporary society.

cindyleegrerUID: 2458033

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-879397-1-1.html

liu_chrisUID: 2389797

As the rapid development of modern society needs more and more communication with others, it is an essential quality to express yourself smoothly and clearly. For most of us, speaking to others is far more used in the daily life than writing. Therefore, I definitely believe that to speak well is more important than to write well.(其实你这个段落很清晰，语法问题少，但是句子好像长了特别是第一句，建议第一句用简单句，不要从句得太长，然后就是词汇尽力能过用的变化一点)
保持你的意思，我这样些写：
with the rapid development happening to modern society, more interpersonal communication is highly required. So to clarify something smoothly is crucial for us, or an outstanding oral skill becomes irresistable. Therefore, I highly believe that speaking well is superior to writing well.

To begin with, speaking is the main communication way (one of the main ways of communicating) in the(去掉the) daily life. Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, you have to talk to other for the(去掉the) information. We can learn about this by supposing one man's life in a day(by imagining a person's one-day life). When he gets up in the morning, he has to talk with his family members in(during )the(去掉the)breakfast time. Then he has to(needs) speak to his customs or colleagues in the workplace. Maybe there would be an oral presentation waiting for him. He may also go to a bar or cafe with his friends in the night) in the evening or at night) for fun. He needs(might be asked) to tell some interesting stories or jokes with his friends. So, you see how important the speaking skill is in one's daily life.
整体来说句子是连贯的，但是词语还是缺乏变动，作者很善于把握托福的思路，细节多，这个对拉长篇幅很有帮助，很对路的感觉，不过还是要在细节上注意一点！除了写，更多的是作者要多看看地道的美文，那样会是文章更一气呵成!
Furthermore, speaking well can help one to(我习惯去掉to) organize the logic and thinking in the writing(help organize writings more logically). Researchers have found that the logic of the (去掉）human beings（closely) depends on the words how they speak(which are used when speaking). One with excellent speaking capacity (talented in oral skill) can not only do(performe) well in the(去掉)lectures or talks, but also can(去掉can) be a master in the (去掉the）writing. Take one of my friends for example, he is a good(skilled/experienced) speaker, and once won the championship in a speech competition. When he looked for(searched/hunted) a job after graduation(when looking for......省略一下更连贯) he gained a high score in the written（改writing) examination as well as （in) the interview. Consequently, it is crucial for a person to exercise his speaking skill in the(去掉） modern society.

Admittedly, to write well is the fundamental requirement for some of the（去掉） occupations, such as secretary, journalist, and writer. Nevertheless, in the（去掉） daily life, they need to communicate with others in speaking. So, as what have been discussed above, we can come to the conclusion that speaking well weighs more than writing well in contemporary society.
（我先以为是第三个点，结果发现是结尾，那么你的篇幅就少了！另外请作者一定要好好看看the是如何用的，太多的the割裂你的文章，使得读起来不连贯!）

yuanhu124UID: 2444317

很中肯！非常谢谢，在余下一周里争取能有所改进！