COMEON作文小组——jiwasun 2008 10月28日作业

jiwasunUID: 2425569

来晚了，一觉睡过头了

The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles ) is less important than it was.

Through the advancement of economic shows a suggestion worth of consideration, which recommends that the extended family is less significant than it was. I strongly hold the opposite opinion. To my knowledge, people will enjoy more from it, and reasons supporting my choice are listed as follows.

The point of top value for my preference lies on that close relationship between extended family members and unclear family members. When it comes to the extended family, it means a larger family consists not only of the parents and children but also of grandparents, aunts and so forth. Generally speaking, they are the most intimate friends. Every family member will assist the one regardless whatever difficulties he or she is in. When I was two or three years old, my parents were both extremely busy with working and had no time to attend to me. It was my grandmother that took good care of me all the time. I was naughty and thus it was never a easy job to look after me. For instance, once I seriously injured the index finger of my left hand when playing with a small saw. It was grandmother that carried me walking several miles to the hospital. From the time I was born until I became a grown-up, she had always been by my side, loving and caring. My grandmother has played an irreplaceable role in my life.

With the first point stands the second aspect demonstrates that parents can be taken good care of from the extended family when I was not at home. I, learning at a university away from my home, nearly only have two months to stay with them in a whole year. It's short. When I am home, I can look after them. How about the rest ten month? The extended family is the most acceptable.

The last beneficial merit is that the extended family are the most trustful, which can play a significant role in the solution of certain problems. Imagine I am dealing with a extraordinarily challenging task, referring various aspects such as accountancy, economics. sociology and so on. Additionally, the task is a quite secret one, you are not allowed to expose it in pubic. The beginning is always the hardest. You can consult the extended family member, however. They help you and you really never need to worried about the exposure of the secret.

In sum, extended family is still of great significance.

ly8768UID: 2452066

Through the advancement of economic shows a suggestion worth of consideration, which recommends that the extended family is less significant than it was. I strongly hold the opposite opinion. To my knowledge, people will enjoy more from it, and reasons supporting my choice are listed as follows.
The point of top value for my preference lies on that close relationship between extended family members and unclear family members(不知道LZ这句话是什么意思？LZ是要说：我偏爱extended family重要的原因在于extended family members和 unclear family members之间的联系/关系？). When it comes to the extended family, it means a larger family consists not only of the parents and children but also of grandparents, aunts and so forth. Generally speaking, they are the most intimate friends. Every family member will assist the one regardless whatever difficulties he or she is in. When I was two or three years old, my parents were both extremely busy with working and had no time to attend to(attend照料，及物动词，我觉得这里用both and 不太合适) me. It was my grandmother that took good care of me all the time. I was naughty and thus it was never a(an) easy job to look after me. For instance, once I seriously injured the index finger of my left hand when playing with a small saw. It was grandmother that carried me walking several miles to the hospital. From the time I was born until I became a grown-up, she had always been by my side, loving and caring. My grandmother has played an irreplaceable role in my life.
读完后觉得LZ要说extended family会有更多的家庭互助。所以应该将这个作为TS，并且证明时用一个例子就好了。

With the first point stands the second aspect demonstrates that parents can be taken good care of from the extended family when I was not at home. I, learning at a university away from my home, nearly only have two months to stay with them in a whole year(我觉得这样更通顺点: I am studying at a university that is away from my home and I have only two months to stay at home with my families in one year.). It's short(这句感觉没什么用). When I am home, I can look after them. How about the rest ten month? The extended family is the most acceptable.(我觉得改成As a result, the important role that extended family plays is manifest.)

The last beneficial merit is that the extended family are the most trustful, which can play a significant role in the solution of certain problems. Imagine I am dealing with a extraordinarily challenging task, referring various aspects such as accountancy, economics, sociology and so on. Additionally, the task is a quite secret one, you are not allowed to expose it in pubic(public). The beginning is always the hardest. You can consult the extended family member, however.(上面两句这样写怎么样: When frustrated at beginning, which is really a hard time, you can consult your extended family members.) They help you and you really never need to worried about the exposure of the secret.(作为一个专业的保密人员，秘密也不能同家人讲)

bIn sum, extended family is still of great significance.

LZ的论点很不错，论据需要有所改进。遇到这种说明一个事物有没有以前好，感觉还是正面观点要好写些。谢谢LZ的这篇作文～

[ 本帖最后由 ly8768 于 2008-10-29 20:56 编辑 ]

santongUID: 2195564

唉，不管怎么样还是学习一下啦！受益匪浅！

jiwasunUID: 2425569

谢谢修改