COMEON作文小组——jiwasun 2008 11月4日作业

jiwasunUID: 2425569

do you agree or disagree the following statement: Being happy with your job is more important than high salary.（2006 年1 月21 日）

With the development of economy, the general individuals spare no effort in earning a high salary. Along with the phenomenon rises a hot debate over whether earning a high salary is more significant than being happy with the job. When it comes to this complex issue, different people have different opinions due to their distinctive backgrounds and experience. Some people hold the opinion that the conclusion is true. As far as I am concerned, contrary to the opinion of many people is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that Being happy with your job is more important than high salary. The reasons supporting my choice are listed as below.

First, great happiness leads to healthy. Instead of a high salary, it is a healthy body that makes one achieve more in one's whole life. A survey by HEALTH last month which interviewed more than a hundred individuals who are considered to be extraordinarily successful in their careers demonstrated that nearly eighty-percent chose health as their most significant thing in their lives; moreover, it is the happiness attitude towards their jobs that contributes to the health most.At the same time, approximately ninety-three percent acknowledged that a man without heath, no matter how high salary he earns, he will become one of victims of the adverse health , deprives one of most essential prerequisite to achieve more success.

Second, high paid jobs would lead to less time stay with family and friends. A high salary job is sometimes directly linked with long-time working. As a matter of fact, the long one work, the more one will be paid. All too often we observe one man receiving a extremely high salary would be called by his boss during a dinner of some close friends even at weekends, then he had to go. How shame it is! As to the family, working too long in the company means less time at home, so the union of the family will be greatly declined. The relationship, or the generation gap between the parents and children may be worsen due to the lack of communication. Therefore, compared with a high salary job, staying with family and friends are much important.

Finally, being happy is of the most significance in my life, but money isn't. The goal I go out for working, earning the money is just a necessity to live in the world. The money to sustain me is enough. Quoted from one of my favourite articles says that "Dream what you want to dream, go where you want go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. " I always keep that sentence in my mind because I really believe that what it says is absolutely true. Thereby, I would like to take a job with a comparatively low salary but can bring happiness to me rather than a job could give me everything apart form happiness.

In brief, being happy with the job, rather than the high salary  exerts a positive influence far beyond our imagination.

ammyanaUID: 2529083

先占个位，晚上给你改哈！要上课去了！

ammyanaUID: 2529083

With the development of economy, the general individuals spare no effort in earning a high salary. Along with the phenomenon rises a hot debate over whether earning a high salary is more significant than being happy with the job. （倒装用的很好）When it comes to this complex issue, different people have different opinions due to their distinctive backgrounds and experience（经历的话应该是复数）. Some people hold the opinion that the conclusion is true. As far as I am concerned, contrary to the opinion of many people is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that being happy with your job is more important than high salary. The reasons supporting my choice are listed as below.{/{8\]eD/Y
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First, great happiness leads to healthy. Instead of a high salary, it is a healthy body that makes one achieve more in one's whole life. A survey by HEALTH last month which interviewed more than a hundred individuals who are considered to be extraordinarily successful in their careers demonstrated that nearly eighty-percent chose health as their most significant thing in their lives; moreover, it is the happiness attitude towards their jobs that contributes to the health most.At the same time, approximately ninety-three percent acknowledged that a man without heath, no matter how high salary he earns, he will become one of victims of the adverse health , deprives one of most essential prerequisite to achieve more success. （这个引用很好，不知道考试的时候能不能想到呢？）
Second, high paid jobs would lead to less time stay with family and friends. A high salary job is sometimes directly linked with long-time working. As a matter of fact, the longer one works, the more one will be paid. （这句跟前面重复了，有点啰唆）All too often we observe one man receiving an extremely high salary would be called by his boss during a dinner of some close friends even at weekends, then he had to go. How shameful it is! （这句看上去有点不搭）As to the family, working too long in the company means less time at home, so the union of the family will be greatly declined（如果是我我会写成so getting together with family members seems more difficult than ever）. The relationship, or the generation gap between the parents and children may be worsen due to the lack of communication. Therefore, compared with a high salary job, staying with family and friends are much(is more) important.

Finally, being happy is of the most significance in my life, but money isn't. The goal I go out for working, earning the money is just a necessity to live (survive的意思更好一点)in the world. The money to sustain me is enough. Quoted from one of my favourite articles says that "Dream what you want to dream, go where you want go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. " I always keep that sentence in my mind because I really believe that what it says is absolutely true. Thereby, I would like to take a job with a comparatively low salary but can bring happiness to me rather than a job could give me everything apart form happiness. 留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAZ0q7PR;C-A8PU
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In brief, being happy with the job, rather than the high salary  exerts a positive influence far beyond our imagination.

总体上看，文章的结构和思路还有论证都很好。只是有个别小错误。
我的一个小建议是尽量使文字更简练一些，有时候看起来有点啰嗦。逻辑和思路才是最重要的。
不过总体还是很好的！加油加油！