半个小时才写了这么多 麻烦大家帮我改改好不？

dreamslinkUID：2567006

Grades(marks) encourage students to learn
Grades are a dominant style of measuring the students’ learning ability in China.From the kindgarden to the college even when you step into the society,you teacher or boss would divide the whole group by the marks.Just from the piont of view when you are student,grades is everything to you.Your parents and your teacher may regard it as a encouragement to you and remind you to get a higher markes in the next examination.But as far as I am concerned ,they should distinguish the situation whether they choose the marks to encourage the students or not.The reasons why I mentioned above idea wil be explained as follows.
On the one hand,when the situation comes to an excellent student,we could surely use the marks as a wepon to stimulate the incentive to study harder.Here,we can draw a illustration that If one receive a excellent score from the teacher in the subject,she/he must be proud of the achievement .Others around her/him would feel jealous or express the admire to her/him.In this circumustance,if the students want more respect ,she/he may try her/him best.
However,on the other hand,the scores could not be the stimulation to the ones who are really poor in study.Make an assupmtion,if one are really not interest in school,the side effect may accur if you force he to get high score.The more press you push on him,the more unwillings to learn he may have.You must know the the character of rebelling in the juvenile.
The complex issuse make me consider it on the case-by-case basis,before you make your decision ,you must check the situation which the student is in.

mpromanusUID：2565872

Gradinges are is a dominant style of measuring the students’ learning ability in China.From the kindgarten to the college, even when you step into the society, your teacher or boss would divide the whole group by the marks (marks of WHAT?).Just From the your piont of view when you are just a student, grades is are everything to you.Your parents and your teacher may regard it them as a encouragements to you and remind you to get a higher markes in the next examination.But as far as I am concerned ,they should distinguish separate the situation whether when they choose to use the marks to encourage the students or from when not to.The reasons why I mentioned the above idea will be explained as follows.

On the one hand,when the situation comes to involves an excellent student,we could surely use the marks as a wepon means to stimulate the his incentive to study harder. Here,we can draw a illustration that If one receives a excellent score from the teacher in the subject, she/he must be proud of the achievement. Others around her/him would feel jealous or express the admiratione to her/him.In this circumustance,if the students wants more respect ,she/he may try her/him best in subsequent exams. (你不需要如此‘倾向正确’。用男性代词来指代全体现在已经不会被认为是性别歧视的意思了 - 因为要每次都she/he, her/him实在会让文章变得很拗口)

However,on the other hand, (on the other hand和however稍有重复) the scores could not be the stimulation to stimulate the ones who are really poor in studies. Make an assupmtion: if one are is really not interested in school, the side effects may accur if you force him to get high score.The more press you push on him using grades or scores (always, always link back to your topic),the more unwillings to learn he may have become.You must know the the character of rebelling in the juvenile.(这句完全不必要. 跟话题没有明显的关系. 之前已经把强行用分数来要求差生的后果讲清楚了)

The Such a complex issuse make prompts me to consider it on the a case-by-case basis. Before you make your decision (又见跑句. 记得该分句的时候要分句) ,you must check the situation which the student is in. (论点总结呢?议论文要有头有尾)

总结：

1. 千年老问题的单复数和滥用the冠词. 俺不是特指lz你。。俺改过的每一篇几乎都或多或少有这两个问题。这是基本的语法，请大家好好锻炼自己的警觉程度。

2. 题目是grading *encourage students to learn*. 第三段很好很切题，但第二段比较松 - 你最后总结出来的是好学生用好分数来鼓励可以让他更努力考好分数。。要记住，作文的指导方针是题目，随时要回去和题目打招呼。

nmrphdUID：2554154

if the students want more respect ,she/he may try her/him best

比较级对应比较级。
if students want to win more respect from others, they should work harder.

[ 本帖最后由 nmrphd 于 2008-11-6 13:44 编辑 ]

阿泰UID：209473

MW mark g : a symbol used to represent a teacher's estimate of a student's work or conduct;  especially   : GRADE

倾向正确在法律里说的“政治正确”，就是“Political Correctness"

这篇文章结构太单薄