ISSUE130 [FF小组]第2次作业---by oyhd

oyhdUID: 2490181

130 "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society。

提纲：
           1。满足社会需要很重要，但单单满足那些需要不能决定社会的命运。
           2。我们可以教育出聪明，有能力去帮助社会的孩子，但带来一个好的社只有能力是不够够的。还要有道德方面的保证。
           3。我们可以教孩子道德，但却无法确保他们的道德水平很高。因为还会孩子的道德受到社会上负面的影响。因此从这个方面来说我们还没有学会如何培养孩子。

         
Socialization, defined as converting and meeting the social needs , of children is really  important for the whole society. However , socialization alone cannot determines the density of society.  In addition, we may be able to provide our children the ability required when do different jobs and  teach them the right attitude towards the life . However , not all children can hold both of the ability and morality which are necessary to bring about a better society.

How children are socialized means how great the ability children have needed by the society. Some people may argue that if children do not have such ability, they can do nothing to make the society develop. It is true that the well socialized children can contribute to the society greatly. But that is not all the case. Children who have great ability but lack the morality--such as sense of responsibility , honesty ,and so on--are always seriously harmful to the whole society. Jeffrey Lee Parsonh ,a middle school students , have the ability  to use the computer well .And what he "contribute " to the society is Blaster worm ,a computer virus, which affected thousands of computers. So only the ability cannot be the key to the thriving of the society and sometimes can be the tools to damage the society.By contrast , some normal children who do not have such great ability can help the society slightly but constantly through their job in the future. Therefore , the destiny of society do not wholly depend on how children are socialized.

Nowadays we can teach our children knowledge about many subjects in school . After a long period of school life children can learn many useful knowledge about various aspects of the society. And those knowledge can give them the ability for their work . With that ability the children can do their own effect to benefit the society. In this sense , it seems that we know how to raise children to bring about a better life .  However ,as I discussed above the ability alone can not bring about a better society .For if they do not have the will to do that  ,the ability can be helpless or even dangerous. Therefore , in the sake of making sure that children can help bring about a better society ,we should also know how to place a high standard of morality into children's heart.

Although it is entirely possible for the teachers and parents to teach children right attitude towards the life and society , children may hold a wrong one. The chief reason may be that the ethic do not like other courses which can learn just from the textbook and notebook. The ethic of children can be affected by many people and through many ways in their daily life. Some of the effects play a ill part in children’s morality . This problem is difficult to solve especially in modern times, through the internet and television children can easily be mislead . Even there is some methods ,for instance limiting the time that children spend on the internet or television ,that can mitigate the problems ,  however ,those means will not avert them . In this sense , we should accept the unpleasant fact that we really do not know how to raise children who can help bring a better society.

To sum up ,the density of the society is decided by not only how children are socialized, but also whether children have high morality . And we can provide children the ability they need to bring about a better society ,but  cannot insure children  use the ability in a right way.

crazy_calmUID: 2260690

首先我觉得这个socialization的定义是不是有问题啊。。。

应该是适应社会生活，而不是满足社会需要吧。虽然似乎两者在底层的含义相似，但是我觉得还是应该用本源的解释比较好。

可以看出你的思路是一个逐层让步递进的模式。总的来说就是社会化是不够的，还需要有足够的能力和良好的道德。

我个人认为这个结构其内在的逻辑结构已经很完善了。

再看具体论证过程。

开头段清楚利落，将全文各段的关系摆了出来，值得学习。
第二段对于socialized的定义我不是很赞同，但是按照你的定义，这一段的论证还是比较圆满的。我挑不出什么毛病。
第三段的论证就显得有些单薄。而且我觉得第三段的内容是不是与第二段有些地方重复了？我明白这一段重点是要转向教育的角度，但是说的还是一个问题，没有进一步的升华，至少是没有很理想的展开来。
第四段似乎我没看出什么大的问题。

总的来说，这篇文章是比较好的自圆其说的。要说问题的话，就是在论证结构完整的情况下，单独的论证段还有待加强。尤其是有一些重复论证的嫌疑。大概就是这样了。:)

oyhdUID: 2490181

converting and meeting the social needs 是字典的定义啊.
第2段的定义我是故意缩小范围的,定义太宽的话应该不好写吧?
我例子不行所以写的时候只能说理,所以没办法写的很充分.无奈啊.所以目前我会扩展自己的泛读来提高.
谢谢你的意见.:loveliness: