ISSUE130-[FF小组]-第二次作业

caomoqianqianUID: 2542112

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

正文：
I do agree the speaker that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. However, undoubtedly there are differences in child-rearing methods from one region to another all the time; we have been already on the right way to raise well-socialized children who can help bring about a better society.

To begin with, we must have deliberate consideration about socialization of children. It processes by which children learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment and come to be able to construct their own ways of being part of the social group. Socialization influences the development of the child’s personality and views toward the real world, including their involvement with their parents, teachers as well as peer-friends.

What is more, we have already known how to cultivate and conduct well-socialized children by the endeavors of their parents and teachers. As the guides of children, parents and teachers remain critical in the process of socializing childhood. They should support their children’s self-esteem, encourage them to participate in neighborhood or community activities, as well as offer a sensitive ear and a perceptive judgment to how their children get along with the peer-group. Under the appropriate attention and guidance, children learn to adapt the society and obtain help and respect from others. Hence they come to perceive themselves as responsible to others and the whole society. They are not only willing to interact and cooperate with others, but also contribute altruistic behavior to the people who need help.

Whereas the better-builders of society can be individuals that have an open and cooperative mind, willing to service for others and contribute themselves to the whole society, just like the well-socialized individuals. Only people who are willing to share their own thoughts and interact with others, can learn other’s merits and develop for common progress, thus contribute to the development of the society. In the same way, only people willing to assist others who are urgent to help, they can promote the improvement of society. Think about Batitte. If he spend all his money himself instead of donate so much money to help thousands of people with a warm heart, does he help to bring out a better society? On the contrast, if someone only takes any means to carve for the interest himself, he cannot benefit the society.

Consequently, well-socialized children of today are the masters of the society tomorrow. Their contributions to the society will help to bring out a better world.

[ 本帖最后由 caomoqianqian 于 2008-11-7 12:11 编辑 ]

槲寄生UID: 2429308

I do agree the speaker that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society(刚才看的范文分析上说：过于肯定的句子表达让步，所以呢，后边最好有一个children take on responsibility when they grow up解释下<感觉我这句话说的没让步的意思啊，呵呵>). However, undoubtedly there are differences in child-rearing methods from one region to another all the time; we have been already on the right way to raise well-socialized children who can help bring about a better society.

你的观点是同意儿童决定社会的命运+我们对儿童的的socialization已经很重视了

To begin with, we must have deliberate consideration about socialization of children. It processes by which children learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors（不光是behavior吧，还有attitude, value, moral, habit什么的，也提下吧） for （from？）a given environment and come to be able to construct their own ways of being part of the social group. Socialization influences the development of the child’s personality and (the) views toward the real world, including their involvement with their parents, teachers as well as peer-friends. (这句的意思是什么？逗号前后是什么关系呢？)

What is more, we have already known how to cultivate and conduct（？foster吧） well-socialized children by the endeavors (?)of their parents and teachers.(with parents and teachers’ remitting efforts) As the guides of (for/to) children, parents and teachers remain critical in the process of socializing childhood.(1.没有找到socializing childhood 这种表达。2. 建议用play critical role in…的句型) They should support (their不要吧)the development of children’s self-esteem, encourage them to participate in neighborhood or community activities, as well as offer a sensitive ear and a perceptive judgment（这是个专有名词啊<知觉判断>）to how their children get along with the peer-group. Under the appropriate attention and guidance, children learn to adapt the society and obtain help and respect from others. Hence they come to perceive themselves as responsible (human being) to others and the whole society. They are not only willing to interact and cooperate with others, but also contribute altruistic behavior to the people who need help.

Whereas the better-builders of society can be individuals that have an open and cooperative mind, willing to service for others and contribute (devote，不过吧自己完全奉献给社会也不好啊，用哪个词呢…) themselves to the whole society, just like the well-socialized individuals. Only people who are willing to share their own thoughts and interact with others, can learn other’s merits and（感觉应该有点递进的关系+then）develop for common progress, thus contribute to the development of the society. In the same way, only people willing to assist others who are urgent to help, they(不要)can promote the improvement of society. Think about Batitte（这是哪个TX?）. If he spend all his money (for) himself instead of donate so much money(不要吧 ) to help thousands of people （who suffer poverty, hunger and disease 发挥下，呵呵）with a warm heart, （“，”逗号前后什么关系呢，转得太急）does he help to bring out a better society? On the contrast, if someone only takes any means to carve for the interest himself, he cannot benefit the society.

Consequently, well-socialized children of today are the masters（？） of the society tomorrow. （社会化好的孩子主宰社会的未来？不够充分，还要有专业的知识和技能等等吧,另外社会化不好的儿童也会影响未来，如果他们占多数呢？）Their contributions to the society will help to bring out a better world.

很认真的地批了，但是…还是那句话，本人水平有限。
不对的地方Q上讨论




[ 本帖最后由 槲寄生 于 2008-11-9 20:08 编辑 ]

felipsUID: 2473490

I do agree the speaker that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. However, undoubtedly there are differences in child-rearing methods from one region to another all the time; we have been already on the right way to raise well-socialized children who can help bring about a better society.

To begin with, we must have deliberate consideration about socialization of children. It processes by which children learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment and come to be able to construct their own ways of being part of the social group. Socialization influences the development of the child’s personality and views toward the real world, including their involvement with their parents, teachers as well as peer-friends. (definition of socialization, good)

What is more, we have already known how to cultivate and conduct well-socialized children by the endeavors of their parents and teachers. As the guides of children, parents and teachers remain critical in the process of socializing childhood. They should support their children’s self-esteem, encourage them to participate in neighborhood or community activities, as well as offer a sensitive ear and a perceptive judgment to how their children get along with the peer-group. Under the appropriate attention and guidance, children learn to adapt the society and obtain help and respect from others. Hence they come to perceive themselves as responsible to others and the whole society. They are not only willing to interact and cooperate with others, but also contribute altruistic behavior to the people who need help. (you should reason why we have already known how to ..., but after the first two sentence, "they should" begin reasoning but not stating facts, this doesn't support your topic sentence: we should ... so we have ...?)

Whereas the better-builders of society can be individuals that have an open and cooperative mind, willing to service for others and contribute themselves to the whole society, just like the well-socialized individuals. Only people who are willing to share their own thoughts and interact with others, can learn other’s merits and develop for common progress, thus contribute to the development of the society. In the same way, only people willing to assist others who are urgent to help, they can promote the improvement of society. (the structure “Only ... . In the same way ..." is used to express two distinct or forwarding ideas, however, the two ones are similar) Think about Batitte. If he spend all his money himself instead of donate so much money to help thousands of people with a warm heart, does he help to bring out a better society? (the example can support the sub-conclusion that "only people willing to assist others who are urgent to help ... ", however, what's it relationship to socialization) On the contrast, if someone only takes any means to carve for the interest himself, he cannot benefit the society. [this paragraph is weak in support the author's claim: well-socialized children determine the destiny of our society. The relationship of "well-socialized children" and "a better society" is not well-reasoned but only supported by a weakened example]


Consequently, well-socialized children of today are the masters of the society tomorrow. Their contributions to the society will help to bring out a better world.

If you like, we can discuss about my critical comments. Or you can give some even harsher comments on my issue: https://bbs.gter.net/thread-890964-1-2.html