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[活动] [dark tournament]第一次作业-gjw [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-12-1 21:57:48 |显示全部楼层
It's very common that our teachers assign homework to the students, especially in primary schools, and middle schools. Undoubtedly, it's reasonable for teacher leave some homework for students when they are at home, because the assignments for students do benefit them in various aspects. Not only can it make students concentrate on their study, but also it will help them to have profound ideas about the subjects. Although to assign homework for student every day can have such negative influence on them, we cannot neglect the minor demerit of the fact that it often takes students too much time to finish their home.

To begin with, to assign some homework can avoid a waste of time, after students go back home. And it is a reminder which is releasing a signal that students should keep up with the class and reduce the time spent for the purpose of entertainment. Nowadays, facing with the great competition of the society, parents are no longer complain about the situation that students often burn midnight oil to manage their homework. Instead, they are pleased that more homework given by teacher, because parents believe the harder students work, the easier they will be in their future lives. And the waste of time playing for fun won't be permitted. Obviously, students who do their homework every today with great effort are tended to achieve more academic goals. A survey conducted by the Chinese Academy of Social Science three month ago demonstrate that almost 95% of top students spent at least 5 hours on their homework after a whole day's class after school. Thereby to assign homework every day can draw students attention to a academic goal , and have a good impact on their study.

Additionally, it's really necessary to leave some homework to trigger students critical thinking about the knowledge. When students have lesson in schools , in most of time they are listening to the teacher to absorb knowledge. But as the famous saying goes "practice makes perfect" ,a lack of reflecting ,researching will lead to a serious problem that students are becoming more relying on the teachers in the school and lose the passion to explore the outside world. Finally, it will damage the foundation of the education. So, it's crucial for students to finish some homework, for these tasks can force them to think more deeply.

However, too much of homework will cost a lot of leisure time, which is originally for students to take part in some extracurricular activities, that is indispensible for the development for them."All work no play makes Jack a dull boy", if students cannot have enough time to take part in some activities, they will lose the chance to learn other vital thing that cannot obtain in the classroom. For example, playing a ball game with friends, students can learn how to cooperate with others and cultivate a sense of share. These qualities are cherished by our society and every individual, and also, can be found from a successful person. So, we should confess that the heavy burden of everyday home may affect students' in other field excluding study.

To sum up, considering the both sides of the issue, I hold the opinion that student should do homework every day, but the time of finish it is also should be taken into account. If we can strike a balance between the positive and negative side of it, our students can perform better.   

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Golden Apple

发表于 2008-12-3 03:28:11 |显示全部楼层
It's very common that our teachers assign homework to the students, especially in primary schools, and middle schools. Undoubtedly, it's reasonable for teacher leave some homework for students when they are at home, because the assignments for students do benefit them in various aspects. Not only can it make students concentrate on their study, but also it will help them to have profound ideas about the subjects. Although to assign homework for student every day can have such negative influence on them, we cannot neglect the minor demerit of the fact that it often takes students too much time to finish their home.(这句话虽然模板但是我可以学)K1_E2aOO2vb^{To begin with, to assign some homework can avoid a waste of time, after students go back home.(and不要用在句首~大侠教我的可以改用moreover) And it is a reminder which is releasing a signal that students should keep up with the class and reduce the time spent for the purpose of entertainment. Nowadays, facing with the great competition of the society, parents are no longer complain about the situation that students often burn midnight oil(学了) to manage their homework. Instead, they are pleased that more homework given by teacher, because parents believe the harder students work, the easier they will be in their future lives.(同理换Furthermore) And the waste of time playing for fun won't be permitted. Obviously, students who do their homework every today with great effort are tended to achieve more academic goals. A survey conducted by the Chinese Academy of Social Science three month ago demonstrate that almost 95% of top students spent at least 5 hours on their homework after a whole day's class after school.(原来我们抄的同一个例句哈哈~) Thereby to assign homework every day can draw students attention to a academic goal , and have a good impact on their study.Additionally, it's really necessary to leave some homework to trigger studentscritical thinking about the knowledge. When students have lesson+s in schools , in most of time they are listening to the teacher to absorb knowledge. But as the famous saying goes "practice makes perfect" ,a lack of reflecting ,researching will lead to a serious problem that students are becoming more relying on the teachers in the school and lose the passion to explore the outside world. Finally, it will damage the foundation of the education. So, it's crucial for students to finish some homework, for these tasks can force them to think more deeply.However, too much of homework will cost a lot of leisure time, which is originally for students to take part in some extracurricular activities, that is indispensable for the development for them. "All work no play makes Jack a dull boy",(赞,这个我口语模板里有) if students cannot have enough time to take part in some activities(读起来有点诡异~但是不知道有没有毛病), they will lose the chance to learn other vital thing that cannot obtain in the classroom. For example, playing a ball game with friends, students can learn how to cooperate with others and cultivate a sense of share.(好例子) These qualities are cherished by our society and every individual, and also, can be found from a successful person.(真怀疑我们俩用的是一个模板~我那个模板里也有这个句式) So, we should confess that the heavy burden of everyday home may affect students' in other field excluding study.留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USAEF7M1Fz@:Q#\To sum up, considering the both sides of the issue, I hold the opinion that student should do homework every day, but the time of finish it(感觉不好the time spend on homework?何如?) is also should be taken into account. If we can strike a balance between the positive and negative side of it(这句有人告诉我别用这句了~太容易被人看出来模板了,不过我挺喜欢这句), our students can perform better.
总结
说实话 感觉楼主作文水平比我强一点~但不多~也是很明显模板痕迹~不过貌似不扣分~结构和论点挺好的~语言运用感觉有点问题~这点跟我一模一样~有空一起交流进步

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Golden Apple

发表于 2008-12-3 03:33:39 |显示全部楼层
发过来颜色就没了~~加在附件里吧~那个有颜色

新建 Microsoft Word 文档 (5).doc

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发表于 2008-12-3 17:45:45 |显示全部楼层

It's very common that our teachers assign homework to the students, especially in primary schools, and middle schools. Undoubtedly, it's reasonable for teachers to leave assign some homework for students when they are at home, because the assignments for students do benefit them in various aspects. Not only can it make students concentrate on their study, but also it will help them to have profound ideas about the subjects. Although to assign homework for students every day can have such negative influence on them, we cannot neglect the minor demerit of the fact that it often takes students too much time to finish their homework. |留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE3\K+sl x0z|E9Na1L

To begin with, to assign some homework can avoid a waste of time, after students go back home. And it is a reminder which is releasing a signal that students should keep up with the class and reduce the time spent for the purpose of entertainment. Nowadays, facing with the great competition of the society, parents are no longer complaining about the situation that students often burn midnight oil to manage? their homework. Instead, they are pleased that more homework is given by teachers, because parents believe the harder students work, the easier they will be in their future lives. And the waste of time playing for fun won't be permitted. Obviously, students who do their homework every today with great effort are tended ? to achieve more academic goals. A survey conducted by the Chinese Academy of Social Science three month ago demonstrate that almost 95% of top students spent at least 5 hours on their homework after a whole day's class after school. Thereby to assign homework every day can draw students attention to a academic goal , and have a good impact on their study.uf_8fa?Xp9D^K

Additionally, it's really necessary to leave? assign some homework to trigger students critical thinking about the knowledge. When students have lessons in schools , in most of time they are listening to the teacher to absorb knowledge. But as the famous saying goes "practice makes perfect" ,a lack of reflecting ,researching will lead to a serious problem that students are becoming more relying on the teachers in the school and lose the passion to explore the outside world. Finally, it will damage the foundation of the education. So, it's crucial for students to finish some homework, for these tasks can force them to think more deeply.(你中间这句话像是反对留作业)

\tb5pR!h
However, too much of homework will cost a lot of leisure time, which is originally for students to take part in some extracurricular activities, that is are indispensible for the development for them."All work no play makes Jack a dull boy", if students cannot have enough time to take part in some activities, they will lose the chance to learn other vital thing that cannot obtain in the classroom. For example, playing a ball game with friends, students can learn how to cooperate with others and (这里主语已经变了)cultivate a sense of share . These qualities are cherished by our society and every individual, and also, can be found from a successful person. So, we should confess that the heavy burden of everyday homework may affect students' in other field excluding study.寄托家园        U4gzVe;`
:AKW.W/WYn
To sum up, considering the both sides of the issue, I hold the opinion that student should do homework every day, but the time of finishing it is also should be taken into account. If we can strike a balance between the positive and negative side of it, our students can perform better.

1.用词有一些问题,有一些中式直译的现象(我也有)
2.你的论点好像是中立偏赞成,不知道这样写可不可以?一般都是赞成或反对,然后写理由就可以了。




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发表于 2008-12-4 00:13:39 |显示全部楼层

It's very common that our teachers assign homework to the students, especially in primary schools, and middle schools. Undoubtedly, it's reasonable for teacher that leaves some(some在这里的用法是不对的,同时homework数也不对, 可以使用 various kinds of ) homework for students when they are at home, because the assignments for students do benefit them in various aspects. Not only can it make students concentrate on their study, but also it will(not only but also 前后并列 所以后面也要倒装。) help them to have(inspire) profound ideas about the subjects. Although to assign homework for student every day can have such(such 是代词,指代前面出现过的意群。你前面叙述的都是留作业的好处,没有出现坏处和不良影响,这里的such和后面的东西,从何而来???) negative influence on them, we cannot neglect the minor demerit of the fact that it often takes(preoccupy with 推荐使用一些高频经典词汇。) students too much time to finish their home. (检查一下你最后这句话,转折有问题。 尽管布置作业有害处,但是我们不能忽略这些害处。 这句话从逻辑上讲不通,虽然语感上说得通。)


To begin with, to assign some homework can avoid a waste of time, after students go back home. And it is a reminder which is releasing a signal that students should keep up with the class and reduce the time spent for the purpose of entertainment. Nowadays, facing with the great(激烈的竞争可以说,radical competition ) competition of the society, parents are no longer complain about the situation that students often burn midnight oil to(这个用得好!!!) manage their homework. Instead, they are pleased that more homework given by teacher, because parents believe the harder students work, the easier they will bein their future lives. And the waste of time playing for fun won't be permitted. Obviously, students who do their homework every today with great effort are tended to(???) achieve more academic goals(academic achivement直接就可以表达学业成绩). A survey conducted by the Chinese Academy of Social Science three month ago demonstrates that almost 95% of top students spent at least 5 hours on their homework after a whole day's class after school. Thereby to assign homework every day can draw students attention to a academic goal , and have a good impact on their study.

Additionally, it's really necessary to leave some homework to trigger students critical thinking about the knowledge. When students have lesson in schools , in most of time they are listening to the teacher to absorb knowledge. But as the famous saying goes "practice makes perfect" ,a lack of reflecting ,researching will lead to a serious problem that students are becoming more relying on the teachers in the school and loseing the passion to explore the outside world.(这句话说得好!!) Finally, it will damage the foundation of the education. So, it's crucial for students to finish some homework, for these tasks can force them to think more deeply.留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA6}v5Hz`'xM

However, too much of homework will cost a lot of leisure time, which is originally for students to take part in some extracurricular activities, that(that 不能引导非限定定语从句) is indispensible for the development for them."All work no play makes Jack a dull boy", if students cannot have enough time to take part in some activities, they will lose the chance to learn other vital things that cannot obtain in the classroom. For example, playing a ball game with friends, students can learn how to cooperate with others and cultivate a sense of share(harmony and cooperation  ). These qualities are cherished by our society and every individual, and also, can be found from a(one) successful person(and social elites). So, we should confess that the heavy burden of everyday home may affect students' in other fields excluding study.(和前面不大匹配)

To sum up, considering the both sides of the issue, I hold the opinion that student should do homework every day, but the time of finish词性不对 it is also should be taken into account. If we can strike a balance between (这个用得好!!!)the positive and negative side of it, our students can perform better.    寄托家园%F ~'h#u[@4a



首先楼主作文语法错误比较严重,另外全文读起来很Chinglish,需要认真研读一些原版的英文材料好好模仿一下,很多句子都是想当然写的,但是这种句子在正式书写英文里读起来会很蹩脚。   另外楼主在词汇方面还要加强,很多用词过于简单。 TOEFL考试中,词汇一定要多多体现。 开头段让我有点摸不到头绪,直到后面才知道楼主是支持留作业的。 开头结尾那个让步句一定要好好改改。
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RE: [dark tournament]第一次作业-gjw [修改]

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