HERETIC小组-xiaojing1115 12.2作业

xiaojing1115UID: 2578357

Extended family is not as important as it was in the past. (07.9.22)
I agree with the statement that extended family is not as important as it was in the past. With the development of the society, the pace of the life is speedier than ever. So many young people are busy for at least half the day in working, as a result the majority of them who don’t have marriage go out of the parents’ family for a separated room which can give their free time to relax. They are used to living without complaining from parents and having party in their own flat in weekends. Maybe they fall in love with others and get marriage without going back home to make up the nuclear family.
The appearance of telephone, Internet or e-mail makes extended family not as important as it was in the past. Young people don’t need parents to listening to their bothers any more. They can talk with friends through telephone or write diary on Blog sharing with others. Old people can also communicate with their own friends. On the other hand, when the young have the ability of taking good care of them, they need separate space to learn and have obligation to make parents enjoying life. The parents no longer need to care the child all the day, they can go park to take exercise. It is time for them to relax.

Further, the modern life style the young have that sleeping late in night makes old people uncomfortable, and the party which may maintain to midnight also makes them annoyed. It is impossible for them to live together with so different life style. It is more comfortable for them to live separate, watching different TV program and doing anything that they like.

In my mind, extended family is not as important as it was in the past. In nuclear family, people can do anything that can make them happy with their own lovers and children, don’t need to worry about the complaining from others. Have their own simple rules and same life style.


这是我第一次作业，比较菜，麻烦各位改改了，谢谢哦:)

[ 本帖最后由 xiaojing1115 于 2008-12-3 01:40 编辑 ]

梦想在望2008UID: 2546295

Extended family is not as important as it was in the past. (07.9.22)
I agree with the statement thatextended family is not as important as it was in the past. With the development of the society, the pace of the life is speedier than ever. So many young people are busy for at least half the day in working, as a result the majority of them who don’t have marriage go out of the parents’ family for a separated room which can give their free time to relax. They are used to living without complaining from parents and having party in their own flat in weekends. Maybe they fall in love with others and get marriage without going back home to make up the nuclear family.（首段结构有问题。建议吧观点句放在段末！）
The appearance of telephone, Internet or e-mail makes extended family not as important as it was in the past. Young people don’t need parents to listening(listen) to their bothers any more. They can talk with friends through telephone or write diary on Blog sharing(shared) with others. Old people can also communicate with their own friends. On the other hand, when the young have the ability of taking(to take) good care of them(themselves), they need separate space to learn and have obligation to make parents enjoying life. The parents no longer need to care the child all the day, they can go park to take exercise. It is time for them to relax.（理由比较具有支持观点的作用，论点的展开的也还好。但是本段语法错误比较多。）Further, the modern life style the young have that sleeping late in night makes old people uncomfortable, and the party which may maintain to midnight also makes them annoyed. It is impossible for them to live together with so different life style. It is more comfortable for them to live separate, watching different TV program and doing anything that they like.（这一段是在说年轻人与老年人生活方式不同使得大家庭在当今社会不那么重要了。是么？论点倒还有道理，但是本人认为论点的展开不太好而且写得有些少。建议重新安排和组织句子。）In my mind,extended family is not as important as it was in the past.In nuclear family, people can do anything that can make them happy with their own lovers and children, don’t need to worry about the complaining from others. Have their own simple rules and same life style.
建议在句子结构方面多进行写变换！

xiaojing1115UID: 2578357

非常感谢哦，昏昏的写完，才发现有那么多错哦