20天托福110分复习计划，由于另一个帖子楼数太高，现在本帖也开始为各位改作文

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

370# gagsyliu 第一段最好能够说出为什么，比如可以写一些科技进步，教育发展，卫生保健提高等等。就像你上一篇文章一样，给出几个简短的例子，会是你的文章增色不少。另外，你的离子可以在具体一些，比如第一段的和平，人家问你的是“our grandparents"，你就可以尝试写一些发生在你祖父母那个年代不和平的事情。具体的离子，加上精简的结构，文章得分不会低的。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

371# gagsyliu 不用一次发那么多，写作文应该精炼，而不是泛写。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

372# cuteberry 不算跑题，你的第一个论点写的不是太好，其他的如果语法错误不多，应该的分布会很低。第一个论点有点以偏概全，毕竟出了自然领域还有别的学科，学历是一样有帮助。写的不全面。最后两个论点写的不错，很出彩。最后一段尤其值得夸赞一下。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

373# FFtserAph 呵呵，不谢

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

大家踊跃发作文哈，争取能把这个帖子改到100页。

阿泰UID: 209473

:lol100楼

chineseladyUID: 2403976

麻烦狼再看看我的, 最近也在小组里写写. 练了几篇后请你帮忙瞧. 以前说的长句和例子问题我也在思考, 你看是不是改进些了? 上次一战考了20分, 点评说我小作文的点与听力有出入. 而且小作文我只象征性的写了3段, 就是三点都对应了. 连最后的结尾也没有: in conclusion, the lecture totally refuted the ideas in passages…..之类的. 我当时想主要不是考自己的观点和思想, 就没有写客套话. 不知道是不是应该加上, 丰满点呢? 是小作文稍稍拖点后退吗?! 我打算目标定在25, 你觉得这段时间我该怎么提高? 一和月左右的时间. 有时间我也看看美版杂志, 有用否? 你觉得作文高分120怎样?

[fly]
One argument states that higher education should be open to everyone, regardless of background. The opposing argument says that only the elite students should be allowed to proceed. Discuss these ideas. Do you agree or disagree? Explain why806258558
[/fly]
Higher education has been regarded as an accessible way to get achievement. In China, studying in universities may equip young people more knowledge and to be effective. With the development of society and economic system, tuition load is more available than it was before. So it allows that those who cannot afford tuition can study in universities. Besides, there are some examples like elite people could be capable without staying in college. Thus, I tend to indicate that anyone should have the right to receive higher education if they want.

Ordinary people are more appropriate to be in university. Those may have no strong abilities should gain higher education; otherwise, the opportunities to be employed for them will be diminished. A young people without any degree and skills might only have simple work positions, labor, dustman or milkman. It will waste energy and time. Youngster is the next generation and future to any nation. They should have strong capacity to get involve in the development of country. Higher education provides an extended stage to learn new knowledge. They may major in literature, mechanics and science and computer and science. With various programs, people could choose one to further study for career. University is like a bridge to the future and to relise dreams.

Presently, some of elite people would not study in college. Bill Gates is a good example, but there are several people follow the similar ways with him. My friends’ brother whose academic subjects were not top quitted the study in college. It seems that lacking of plan for future, he could not get good paid job with no excellent academic scores. On the contrary, he has deep interest in software and now works as a soft ware engineer. Although he is not as famous and rich as Gates, we could say that he is elite in his field. For him, studying in college maybe too limited in learning his area with more programs and classes to deal with. Leaving higher education saved his time to get his dream.

In conclusion, most people in this world are common and higher education offers them more chances to learn. Also, they are equipped the knowledge and competency to do something for their countries and themselves. That we say: higher education should be open to anyone.

gagsyliuUID: 2443203

谢谢大家的点评，我会继续努力的。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

381# 阿泰 100页……

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

382# chineselady 很抱歉的说，你的作文和上次比进步不大，但是长短句的把握挺好，这次读起来不是很累。你的第三段例子确实是身边的离子，但是感觉很啰嗦，一句话就能说清楚的东西你反复说了好多遍。不是到你是不是看了李笑来的作文，而不写首段，在我看来，首段的缺失对你来将是你一个很大的损失，你的作文水平还不能够达到用主体段落就把读者吸引住，所以此时，一个鲜明点题的首段会对你的文章产生非常大的带动作用。关于小作文，实际上没什么说的，你就听懂，然后一字不漏的套模板就行了，这一点上不用自己发挥，前人的经验还是很有帮助的。小作文的客套话一定要写，毕竟他还是很希望看到你自己的一些理解的，只要不喧宾夺主就好了。总结很重要，就像吃饺子一定要和饺子汤一样。你不应该定在25，应该把自己的分数定在28，因为你有这个实力，另外，你定的高也有助于你考出好成绩。作文在我看来就是精炼，切忌多练，练得越多，你原来的老毛病越难改。与其看杂志，不如多倍一些经典句型，多读一些原来人写的满分作文，多级一些例子，会对你的分数提高帮助很大。至于120，我没有读过，所以不做评价。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

383# gagsyliu 呵呵，多总结，一定可以考出好成绩的。

cuteberryUID: 2401378

嘿嘿,谢谢啦~~不知道啊.下周末就要出分了. 378# 腾格里旅狼

chineseladyUID: 2403976

嗯...我会注意的...谢谢啦!这段时间辛苦了!!:loveliness: 385# 腾格里旅狼

chineseladyUID: 2403976

不是到你是不是看了李笑来的作文，而不写首段，那个弱弱的问下: 我看了一部分他的作文, 有的很复杂的样子有的好像很简单的样子, 你说可以把他的当范文看看不? 不写首段是啥意思呐? 第一段的观点不明确吗? 还是... 385# 腾格里旅狼

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

387# cuteberry 好运，God bless u.