【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月6日作业-闹闹喵

闹闹喵UID: 2500331

It'll be totally nonsense and waster of energy to decide whether a job cooperative is better than working alone. Point is, in which way can a person burn his potential at maximum, at the same time completes the task sufficiently and happily.

I guess most people enjoy working with mates, for human is some kind of gregarious creature, cooperation is the key to survive and succeed in evolution. The more people, the more information and concepts, thus bigger chance to win. That's why team work style rules scientific field, which control humanity's existence. Centuries ago lots of scientists are able to made great discoveries of their own. Mendel spent 8 years alone growing beans to build his genetics law. But these days, "what you can figure out alone is almost done by our predecessors that you probably won't get anything fighting on your own.", said one of my chemistry professors.

Yet the advantages of cooperation doesn't make doing business alone a inferior work style. In fact Thoreau completed Walden after 3 years’ solitude; Kant spent most of his life sitting in the sanctum alone working on that complicated and obscure philosophy theory. And in any of his masterpieces, I haven't seen any names were printed after Neil Gainman himself on the cover. To certain person, say scholars, writers, poets etc., solitude means a tranquil circumstance which allows them to immerse themselves freely into their work, gives them a clear mind of what they're focusing on. No wonder why most composers and critics prefer working between midnight and dawn, take Balzac as a perfect instance. Such makes the interferences of another guy really annoying.


Besides, nowadays quite a few fields require personal styles. Thus working alone became quite important. In some aspects, writers are the monarch in his novels, controlling the character's fate. But if there are 2 emperors there, it isn't hard to imagine what will happen. Chances are that both of them will lose their ideas and unique attractions towards audiences.

So think precisely and find out which way of working is your favorite. Judge without fully considerations of different situation won't help at all.

[ 本帖最后由 闹闹喵 于 2008-12-6 22:00 编辑 ]

ammyanaUID: 2529083

It'll be totally nonsense and waster(waste) of energy to decide(我想你的意思是discuss) whether a(the) job cooperative(cooperation) is better than working alone. Point is（这个表达没见过）, in which way can a person burn his potential at maximum, at the same time complete the task sufficiently and happily
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I guess most people enjoy working with mates, for human is some（a就可以了） kind of gregarious creature, cooperation is the key to survive and succeed in evolution. The more people, the more information and concepts, thus bigger chance to win. That's why team work style rules scientific field, which controls humanity's existence.(这个，动物也有群居的吧，说保持人性这个观点有点扯的感觉) Centuries ago lots of scientists are able to made great discoveries of their own. Mendel spent 8 years alone growing beans to build his genetics law. But these days, "what you can figure out alone is almost done by our predecessors that you probably won't get anything fighting on your own.", said one of my chemistry professors. 寄托家园pYYo-eu$cd:H
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Yet the advantages of cooperation doesn't make doing business alone an inferior working style. In fact Thoreau completed Walden after 3 years’ solitude; Kant spent most of his life sitting in the sanctum alone working on that complicated and obscure philosophy theory.（嗯，这两个例子比较好） And in any of his masterpieces, I haven't seen any names were printed after Neil Gainman himself on the cover. To certain person, say scholars, writers, poets etc., solitude means a tranquil circumstance which allows them to immerse themselves freely into their work, giveing them a clear mind of what they're focusing on. No wonder why most composers and critics prefer working between midnight and dawn, take Balzac as a perfect instance. Such（前面没有提到过，such 是什么？是不是可以改成which引导的定从？） makes the interferences of another guy really annoying.m.@_o4x!_/X.|
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Besides, nowadays quite a few fields require personal styles. Thus working alone became quite important. In some aspects, writers are the monarch in his novels, controlling the character's fate. But if there are 2 emperors there, it isn't hard to imagine what will happen. Chances are that both of them will lose their ideas and unique attractions towards audiences. 这段的论证有点不充分吧，要说明社会不太需要个人的观念可以举很多例子啊，比如企业的brainstorming,虽然有点土，但是这个2 emperors的例子我真的不明白，不知鬼子们能不能明白）

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So think precisely and find out which way of working is your favorite. Judge without fully considerations of different situation won't help at all.（这个结尾有点突兀了，既没有点题也没有什么具体概念）



总的来说，lz的词汇和句法结构还是要加强，特别是一些低级错误一定要克服
你的论证思路给我感觉不是太明晰，也就是逻辑性不强。虽然语言很重要，但是我想思维更需要好好揣摩吧。
希望和lz共同进步！有时间可以帮我看看我的！

闹闹喵UID: 2500331

谢谢你的修改

不过可能我的表达不好，没能让你充分理解，在这里想仔细说明一下

第二段humanity不是指人性，而是指人类

倒数第二段的例子要说明的是社会需要个人，而不是社会不需要个人。作家在自己的世界里是独裁者者，不允许第二个人的接入。如果两个人合作很有可能双方都会丢掉个人风格

ammyanaUID: 2529083

哦，是这样啊！
可能我当时看得太快，理解错误了。。。
不过那个humanity为了避免误解用human 就可以了吧。。。
下面那段我是真的没看太太仔细，也没想太多，抱歉啦！

另外，我昨天交上来的作业一直都没人改。还有一篇交到之前那个组也没人改。。
贴过来，楼主帮我看看。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D3