【作文求拍】 闹闹喵12.14号作业

闹闹喵UID：2500331

:L 因为没能赶上和大家一起交作业所以没能安排拍文，希望大家能帮我看看，不胜感激

这篇写得恶心死我了，又超时又没例子说理也特别牵强，大家狠拍啊:mad:


In university, students should take the history courses no matter what field they study in.

In no circumstance should I disagree with the pedagogic notion that history is indispensable to undergraduates' study. Anyone who only concentrates on his own subject and discounts the evolution of human society will, in significant measure, find it far more formidable to reach out for magnificent discoveries in his own field. Much harder than the one who takes history study serious.

One thing for sure, when it comes to the initial study of a new subject, there is always orientation about its history. Sometimes it might appear as the beginning chapters of the book, or simply just a lecture given by the professor. Most of students found it boring, so they disregard the chapters, sleep or chat while the professor is speaking, which I think is literally very stupid. Only with full cognition of perspective will we be able to figure out what we're studying right now. The conception and theory discovered by our predecessor can lead us to further and deeper research of the unknown wildness. Failures they have made, and yet we can learn their lessons even without experiencing it! Sir Isaac probably wouldn't achieve a lot without standing on the "shoulder" of the "giants". Ignorance of history will blind you, and induce hard job which will probably end up in vanity.

Some might argue that, well, it is certainly important for one to study history of his own majority. But will it be necessary for a scientific student to gain an acquisition of society, literature, and even arts' history? Talking about myself, I believe, yes. By studying history, a mechanist can experience different lives which benefits his mind and soul. Comparing his life to those of the history, he can gain a better understanding of himself, know where he belongs, widen his horizon, construct a healthy philosophy, and thus become generous, adamant, and positive. These characters are crucial in people's job no matter he's doing science, philosophy, or art. It is true as the old saying goes, history will inspire wisdom.  

So my opinion is that all students should be required to study history, for it brings huge advantages. One can learn a lot by researching his own past, so imagine how he will benefit from researching the humanity's past?

泡面UID：2513568

不是我不认真改，能力有限，猫猫写得太好了，真的没改出什么错误来…………
惭愧惭愧……

闹闹喵UID：2500331

自己顶上来  觉得自己一直在没话找话blablabla:L

slicednoodlesUID：2505472

因为自家的小狗叫闹闹，所以被楼主的名字吸引到这里了！楼主莫生气，俺只是实话实说了~~：）

楼主这篇文章的语法和结构，那叫一个没的说。我只有崇拜的份！
我只能从内容上说说了，第三段，学生boring的部分有些牵强。而且感觉，通篇论证advantages的理论似乎有些重复。

向楼主学习，用了很多好词~~~

mpromanusUID：2565872

In no circumstance should I disagree with the pedagogic notion that history is indispensable to undergraduates' (I don't believe the question has mentioned 'undergraduates' anywhere. A university normally offers both undergraduate and graduate studies, therefore it's dangerous and unnecessary to scope your discussion like this without offering a good reason.) studies. Anyone who only concentrates on his own (Of course everyone will only concentrate on 'his own' subjects..would you ever study someone else's subject for him? I would guess you mean 'his own major'.) subjects and discounts the evolution of the human society will, in significant measure (This doesn't quite fit anywhere in this sentence because 'far more' already has a similar meaning.), find it far more formidable (It's either 'something is formidable' or 'a formidable something', but not 'it's formidable to do something' - unless the doing of someting causes fear or dread, which obviously doesn't apply to 'reaching out for magnificent discoveries'. When you mean 'difficult', say 'difficult'. Don't try to use other tough words that don't really express what you mean.) to reach out for magnificent discoveries in his own field - much harder than the ones who takes history study seriously.

One thing for sure: when it comes to the initial study of a new subject, there is always an orientation about its (What? The subject, or the studying of the subject?) history. Sometimes it might appear as the beginning chapters of the a book, or simply just (重复) a lecture given by the a professor. Most of students found find it boring, so they disregard the chapters, sleep or chat while the professor is speaking, which I think is literally very stupid. Only with full cognition ('Cognition' is a summary term of many highly intellectural mental processes. If you're trying to use it in the sense of 'recognition' here, it's overkill. If not, you should explain what 'cognitive' processes you're trying to describe here) of perspectives? (on what?) will we be able to figure out what we're studying right now. The conceptions and theories discovered by our predecessors can lead us to further and deeper researches of the unknown wildness (? If you're trying to use a metaphor, you've used it quite wrong - because 1. 'wildness' is not the correct word, 'wilderness' is; 2. 'wilderness' is not normally associated with academic researches.). Failures they have made, and yet we can learn their lessons even without experiencing it them! Sir Isaac Newton (Of course, there was probably only one Sir Isaac at Newton's time - but there could be many, many other Sir Isaacs elsewhere.) probably wouldn't achieve a lot without standing on the "shoulders" of the "giants". Ignorance of history will blind you, and induce hard job work which will probably end up in vanity (? Why would hard work result in vanity? Vanity means being valueless - how can 'hard work' be valueless? You should explain.).

(The 'history courses' in the question doesn't quite mean 'history of courses' - so your argument in the beginning of this paragraph is slightly off. The later part about why knowing history could be valuable is okay.)


Some might argue that, well, it is certainly important for one to study history of his own majority (?), but will it be necessary for a science student to gain an acquisition ('Acquisition' already means 'the act of gaining'. A simple verb 'acquire' will do. I guess you actually meant to use 'acquaintance'.) knowledge of society, literature, and even arts' history (Do you mean 3 history subjects? That would be 'history of the society, literature or even arts'. 请不要滥用所有格 - 很典型的母语非英语人士容易犯的错误) ? Talking about myself, I believe, yes.(Quite a meaningless sentence.) By studying history, a mechanist can experience different lives which benefits his mind and soul. Comparing his life to those of in the history, he can gain a better understanding of himself, know where he belongs, widen his horizons, construct a healthy (? Is there an 'unhealthy' philosophy? Sounds like a Chinglish expression - 健康向上的生活哲学 云云.) philosophy, and thus become generous, adamant, and positive. These characteristics are crucial in people's jobs no matter he's they're doing science, philosophy, or art. It is true as the old saying goes: history will inspire wisdom.

So my opinion is that all students should be required to study history, for it brings huge advantages. One can learn a lot by researching his own past (Where does this come from? You didn't mention anything about this previously. Do NOT raise anything you didn't discuss in the closing paragraph - you're to close the essay, don't leave undeveloped points behind.), so imagine how he will benefit from researching the humanity's past?

总结:

论述方面不错，请注意第一论点开头 - 问题问的是 历史课，指的是一般意义上作为一门课的普通历史，而不是各门课自己的特殊历史。你可以使用history of courses为例子，但是你需要先说明history of courses是history的一个部分，而不是上来就把history of courses当作history courses一样来讨论，是不一样的。另外请注意结尾段的写法，不要提出新论点，不然会让读者觉得你文章怎么没写完就草草收场了。

词汇方面请注意高级词汇的使用，用就要以不用错为目标。。还有像单复数这样的基本语法请仔细检查，基本上俺看到的都是单复数的问题。

[ 本帖最后由 mpromanus 于 2008-12-20 01:26 编辑 ]