作文求拍

晕乎乎UID：2537914

没有写到字数，因为没词了，时间也来不够用，怎么才能有话说呢？
作文请拍：


题目是：

大学往往让学生通过TEAM WORK完成PROJECT,然后给TEAM MEMBER打上同

                  样的分数,你觉得这样好吗?

It is common in university that one project is achieved by a team while all team members share the same score. This method has remarkable advantages and disadvantage, however the disadvantages outweight advantages.

For those competent students, they may feel unfair that they did an excellent work but only gains an average score. Some of them may complain that they suffer from the mistakes committed by those unskilled ones. This thought will influent their mood and they work inefficiently. It is possible that these students have an illusion that hard working is unimportant. It is not only harm to the team but also to the students themselves.

To achieve their goal, team leaders often dispatch important modules to skilled students and less important to other ones. Many of the less competent students will do the simple and repeated work. They have little chance to improve their abilities. It is harder for them to catch up with advanced students. As a result , they couldn`t feel worth to the group and will lose their confidence. They will give up in the end.

Third, some lazy students can find chance to escape from work because they can receive the same score to others.

In conclusion, share work is bad for the team and the team members.

hyacinthUID：2184492

elaborate不够  所以让人觉得你的论点逻辑性不是很强。。。虽然iBT不像G那么看重逻辑,但是最好能让读者觉得你能自圆其说比较好...

如果是我写的话 我会把写会有人tend to slack off... 这在心理里叫social loafing... 然后会导致效率很低  其次不可能完全平均分配工作 和你的第一个point有点像... 另外我觉得不一定必须要有team leader吧...

另外还有不少语法错误... 望再接再厉~~ :)


说句题外话...其实我个人倒满喜欢team project的...因为每次做project我那个组分都很高... ;d: :o :rolleyes: ... -__ -b

晕乎乎UID：2537914

谢谢指教。。继续努力

mpromanusUID：2565872

It is common in university that one project is achieved accomplished by a team while and all team members share the same score. This method has remarkable advantages and disadvantages, however the disadvantages outweight advantages.

For those competent students, they may feel unfair that they did an excellent work job (work作'工作'解时是不可数名词) but only gains an average score. Some of them may complain that they suffer from the mistakes committed by those unskilled ones. This thought will influence their moods and they work inefficiently. It is possible that these students have an illusion that hard working is unimportant. It is not only harmful to the team but also to the students themselves. (好学生因为和差学生同组队而拿不到好分数只是一种可能性，但是你的论述让人觉得这好像是100%会发生的事情. 另外没有切题 - 题目问的是这种判分方式好不好，而不是这种判分方式会对学生有怎样的影响。你需要明确地说出因为对学生有不好的影响所以你认为这种判分方式不好. 另外你的句子之间的逻辑连接比较松散，一句话和下一句之间没有什么明显的关系，给读者的感觉是你说话有一搭没一搭..)

(这里需要一些连词，不然没头没脑的就从第一论点到第二论点，读者会转不过来弯的.) To achieve their goal, team leaders often dispatch important modules to skilled students and less important ones to other ones. Many of the less competent students will do the simple and repeated work. They have little chance to improve their abilities. It is harder for them to catch up with advanced students. As a result , they couldn`t feel their worth to in the group and will lose their confidence. They will give up in the end.(首先，这种事情发生需要一个team leader的存在-不是所有team project都是由team leader操作的。第二，题目问的是这种判分方式好不好，而不是组队做project这种方式对学生好不好..请记得检查自己有没有走题。所以每段尾切题很重要，一面可以为读者强调你的论点，另外也是一种检查自己有没有走题的方法 - 如果你发现自己很难从论点联系回去题目，说明你走题了.)

Thirdly, some lazy students can find chance to escape from work because they can receive the same score to others. (这一段需要好好发展，不然不能算数啊..)

In conclusion, sharing work is bad for the team and the team members. (把这一句和题目比较一下，马上就能看出你走题了 - 题目问的是这种给project team打同分的做法好不好，结果你最后的conclusion是 project team分摊工作这种做法不好..)

总结:

语言上因为字数不够所以没有什么很明显的错误，只是句子之间逻辑联系不强，给人有一搭没一搭的感觉。主要的问题是写着写着就慢慢地偏题了 - 你需要看一些好的范文，另外要记得作文中间随时回去和题目打招呼，可以帮助读者集中注意力在论点上，也可以检查自己有没有偏题。

有话说这个问题是积累出来的。不要限制自己的想法 - 你现在所有的论点都是从工作分配导致的情感心理不平衡方面入手，这其实就说明你的思路是很窄了，才会写到最后有写来写去都是那么回事很没有话说的感觉。做brainstorming可以帮助你养成从多方面思考问题的习惯。能从各个方面考虑问题自然就有话说。