【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】cos 12月24日作文

cos7jUID: 2492350

12.24日作业 for  popular celebrities like singers, actors, athletes can give good example to young people 北美08.1.18 1211

In the era of rapid social and technological change leading to mass media easier exposed to us, more popular celebrities like singers, actors, athletes, come into our daily life. We can see them in films, concerts, TV serials, advertisements, and view them as our idols. Especially, young people are crazy on simulating them. According to me, I think these popular celebrities can give good example to young people.

First, celebrities’ actions are more acceptable than teachers’ or parents’ advices to young people. Youth in schools have so much connection with their teachers that they will not accept all of what the teachers say. In their opinion, teachers only can give suggestions on their study and should not disturb their living habits. And then, parents also frustrated with their children’s bad habits because they words doesn’t affect their children at all. Therefore, stars will take the responsibility to guide the youth. Many stars tell about some good habits or their own stories to encourage others. Not only the youth, but also all the fans will get a lot from their idols.

Second, most celebrities want to show their healthy, good, and positive aspect to the mass. Only by this way can they become popular. So, young people will follow the celerity to charge their lives from bad to good. Take me for example, I’m a lazy person. I always don’t want to brush my teeth on time. If it is too late at night, I’ll go to bed without brushing teeth. Some day, I watched a piece of advertisement of my favorite idol. He told us how important teeth are and how to love them. So, from then, I got the habit to brush teeth three times a day.

Consequently, due to the above analysis and reasons, the celebrity can give good example to young people. We can learn much about them, both their road to success and their tips about daily life.

[ 本帖最后由 hyacinth 于 2008-12-26 02:28 编辑 ]

hyacinthUID: 2184492

语言不错  文章略微嫌短。。。可以尝试进一步develop你的观点

nickey0809UID: 2349468

In the era of rapid social and technological change leading to mass media easier exposed to us,(病句吧，主谓宾是什么) more popular celebrities like singers, actors, athletes, come into our daily life. We can see them in films, concerts, TV serials, advertisements, and view them as our idols.（换种表达方式，这句太中文了） Especially, young people are crazy on simulating them. According to me, I think these popular celebrities can give good example to young people.读到这句之前，我都以为你要说However，然后表达相反观点……如题还欠火候啊

First, celebrities’ actions are more acceptable than teachers’ or parents’ advices to young people. Youth in schools have so much connection with their teachers that they will not accept all of what the teachers say.（which generate their rebellion against the teachers’ warming）In their opinion (eyes), teachers only can give suggestions on their study and should not disturb their living habits. And then,(作文要多用moreover, however, furthermore 等书面语) parents also frustrated with（？？？父母使孩子沮丧！！） their children’s bad habits because they words doesn’t affect their children at all. Therefore, stars will take the responsibility to guide the youth.（为什么明星有义务啊，你前面没说明原因啊，你可以说这样明星是一种很好利用的资源，可以起到积极作用）Many stars tell about some good habits（habit出现了好多多次） or their own stories to encourage others. Not only the youth, but also all the fans will get a lot from their idols.（可以用derive benefit from不）

Second, most celebrities want to show their healthy, good, and positive aspect to the mass. Only by this way can they become popular. So, young people will follow the celerity to charge their lives from bad to good. Take me for example, I’m a lazy person. I always don’t want to brush my teeth on time. If it is too late at night, I’ll go to bed without brushing teeth. （一句可以说完你一定要拖成两句）Some day, I watched a piece of advertisement of my favorite idol. He told us how important teeth are and how to love them. So, from then, I got the habit to brush teeth three times a day.(例子有点傻啊，光有例子还不够最重要的是例子前后要有引出句和分析句)

Consequently,due to the above analysis and reasons, 这两个不是重复么the celebrity can give good example to young people. We can learn much about them, both their road to success and their tips about daily life.（一般开头段或结尾段都要概括说明自己的论点）
还要多加练习。我蓝字部分都是表达不地道的，仔细推敲吧
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