argument111【0906G ANap Hand 作文互改小组】第三次作业 by comb300

comb300UID: 2443633

111The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura-Sock, Inc.

"A recent study of Dura-Sock wearers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented "Endure" manufacturing process, which ensures that our socks are strong enough to last for two years. Dura-Sock has always advertised its use of the "Endure" process, but the new study shows that the average Dura-Sock customer actually purchases new Dura-Socks every three months. Furthermore, Dura-Sock customers surveyed in our largest market, northeastern United States cities, say that they most value Dura-Sock's stylish appearance and availability in many colors. These findings suggest that Dura-Sock can increase its profits by discontinuing its use of the "Endure" manufacturing process."

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This memo shows the author's logical process about the "endure" manufacturing process of the company's socks. It appears to be reasonable at first glance but it has few flaws which could not make the conclusion sound.

Importantly, the author indicates that Dura wasting money on endure process which makes the socks could be used in two years, but in the other hand, on average, customer purchases Dura socks every three months. However, does Dura sock really waste money on endure manufacturing process? Firstly, endure process is a very important selling point of sock industry, nobody willing to buy a sock which would be broken within days, to ensure customer aware the quality of Dura product is a crucial for the business. On the other hand, it is necessary for the company to keep the sock usage cycle in a limited period to keep the sales increasing, although the company has the ability to manufacture much more "endure" socks. If everyone could use several socks for a long time, then the company could not make any profit from it. In a worst scenario, it could lead to the company's bankruptcy which is benefit for neither customer nor the company.

Moreover, there are other reasons to make customers buy socks, endure is just one of them which Maybe even not the most important one. As the author describes, one survey from northeastern United States Cities, shows that appearance and color are the crucial reasons for customers at that region purchasing socks. Therefore, we could comfortable say that customers buy socks in three months could not indicate that endure process is wasting money.

Finally, it is not reasonable to make the decision for the entire company’s based on one region's statistics. It is well known that people in northeastern United States cities like New York are relative more fashionable and wealthy than other regions of United State. Therefore, just because people in these cities in to the style and color of the socks do not mean that in other areas people think the same. And it is highly possible that people in other places would prefer usage rather than appearance due to financial and social limitations.

To sum up, the studies and surveys that the author represent could not support his conclusion about endure manufacturing process. It is high advices to judge whether adopt endure manufacturing process based on the fully study of different areas.

pobosoUID: 2318913

This memo shows the author's logical process（有点重复，建议改成其他词） about the "endure" manufacturing process of the company's socks. It appears to be reasonable at the first glance but it has few flaws which could not make the conclusion sound.

Importantly, the author indicates that Dura wasting money on endure process which makes the socks could be used in two years, but in the other hand, on average, customer purchases Dura socks every three months. However, does Dura socks really waste money on endure manufacturing process? Firstly, endure process is a very important selling point of sock industry, nobody is willing to buy a sock(socks袜子是一对一对的买的嘛) which would be broken within days, to ensure customer aware the quality of Dura product is a（去掉） crucial for the business.(个人认为这句有点牵强，没有足够证据支持，) On the other hand, it is necessary for the company to keep the sock usage cycle in a limited period to keep the sales increasing, although the company has the ability to manufacture much more "endure" socks. If everyone could use several socks for a long time, then the company could not make any profit from it. In a worst scenario, it could(用could是不是假设不可能呢？用can吧) lead to the company's bankruptcy which is benefit for neither customer nor the company. （个人认为这段话逻辑有问题，首先我们是否认停止Endure的应用，但是后半段都是在支持。。。。）

Moreover, there are other reasons to make customers buy socks, endure is just one of them which Maybe even not the most important one.（这句话与原文是一致的，而我们需要反驳呀） As the author describes, one survey from northeastern United States Cities, shows that appearance and color are the crucial reasons for customers at that region purchasing socks. Therefore, we could comfortable say that customers buy socks in three months could not indicate that endure process is wasting money.

Finally, it is not reasonable to make the decision for the entire company’s based on one region's statistics.（有问题） It is well known that people in northeastern United States cities like New York are relatively more fashionable and wealthy than other regions of United States. Therefore, just because people in these cities in to the style and color of the socks do not mean that in other areas people think the same.(这句话有问题，建议你拆开吧) And it is highly possible that people in other places would prefer usage rather than appearance due to financial and social limitations.（这句话很连贯，值得我学习）

To sum up, the studies and surveys that the author represent（present吧？？） could not support his conclusion about endure manufacturing process. It is high advices to judge whether adopt endure manufacturing process based on the fully study of different areas.
总体说来这篇文章语言还是比较清晰，但是有些语法错误，复杂句的应用也有问题（me,too..）作者有些篇幅有逻辑上的错误，就是不是很支持你要表达的东西，比较忌讳，希望你下次把题目看清楚些^^

pobosoUID: 2318913

不知道为什么用另外一种模式打出的字无比巨大。。。。所以看得费力点，对不起。。

comb300UID: 2443633

This memo shows the author's logical process（有点重复，建议改成其他词）[opinion] about the "endure" manufacturing process of the company's socks. It appears to be reasonable at the first glance but it has few flaws which could not make the conclusion sound.

Importantly, the author indicates that Dura wasting money on endure process which makes the socks could be used in two years, but in the other hand, on average, customer purchases Dura socks every three months. However, does Dura socks really waste money on endure manufacturing process? Firstly, endure process is a very important selling point of sock industry, nobody is willing to buy a sock(socks袜子是一对一对的买的嘛) which would be broken within days, to ensure customer aware the quality of Dura product is a（去掉） crucial for the business.(个人认为这句有点牵强，没有足够证据支持，)我觉得这里已经说的很清楚了啊,之所以 crucial for the business 是因为没人希望买穿一会就坏了的袜子 On the other hand, it is necessary for the company to keep the sock usage cycle in a limited period to keep the sales increasing, although the company has the ability to manufacture much more "endure" socks. If everyone could use several socks for a long time, then the company could not make any profit from it. In a worst scenario, it could(用could是不是假设不可能呢？用can吧) could 是虚拟语气额,用错了么? lead to the company's bankruptcy which is benefit for neither customer nor the company. （个人认为这段话逻辑有问题，首先我们是否认停止Endure的应用，但是后半段都是在支持。。。。）这地方也许应该说清楚点,我是支持endure的应用,使公司有能力控制袜子的使用周期,从而达到提高利润和适应不同使用人群的目的

Moreover, there are other reasons to make customers buy socks, endure is just one of them which Maybe even not the most important one.（这句话与原文是一致的，而我们需要反驳呀） 我这段反驳的是,即使人们三个月买一次袜子,也不能说明这个和endure有关系,因为还有其他因素的影响,从而推导出原文中拿这个study作为否认endure的例子是错误的As the author describes, one survey from northeastern United States Cities, shows that appearance and color are the crucial reasons for customers at that region purchasing socks. Therefore, we could comfortable say that customers buy socks in three months could not indicate that endure process is wasting money.也许是应该再加一句话解释一下``

Finally, it is not reasonable to make the decision for the entire company ’s 删掉 based on one region's statistics.（有问题） It is well known that people in northeastern United States cities like New York are relatively more fashionable and wealthy than other regions of United States. Therefore, just because people in these cities in to 恩,in 用的不是很恰当,-> in favor of style and color of the socks do not mean that in other areas people think the same.(这句话有问题，建议你拆开吧) And it is highly possible that people in other places would prefer usage rather than appearance due to financial and social limitations.（这句话很连贯，值得我学习）

To sum up, the studies and surveys that the author represents（present吧？？）represent = 声称 could not support his conclusion about endure manufacturing process. It is high advices to judge whether adopt endure manufacturing process based on the fully study of different areas.
总体说来这篇文章语言还是比较清晰，但是有些语法错误，复杂句的应用也有问题（me,too..）作者有些篇幅有逻辑上的错误，就是不是很支持你要表达的东西，比较忌讳，希望你下次把题目看清楚些^^

呵呵,谢谢pobpso的修改,不过我不觉得什么有逻辑错误啊, 也许是有些地方叙述得不是很清楚,我把你标出的地方都修改了一下, 不知道现在是否表达清楚了~~
如果还有其他错误, 请尽管提出来额~ 多谢多谢!~$ :)