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[活动] 【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月30日作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-12-29 23:19:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

As society advances and economy thrives nowadays, numerous of problems are in front of the government. Environmentalists lay the blame on authorities for the sake of severe pollution results from the industrialization. The citizens expect, by contrast, more positive measure to be taken by the officers to reach the verge of economic prosperity. Boom at the cost of environment or environmental protection without considering the economic progress, which aspect should be focused on, the government should make a choice. Close scrutiny reveals that, however, the aruthorities should persist policy of sustainable development with the economic advancement as the central task.

On one hand, economic problem is more urgent to deal with for the government. Firstly, the quality of people's lives, which closed link to the economic situation, is most corcernedconcerned by the public. The govermentgovernment that fail to regulate and control to maintain a steady economic growth will lose the trust of the people. For instance, a destitute family, living from hand to mouth, would reluctant to vote the candidate who is all mouth of harmony between human and nature instead any promise to change their lives. Furthermore, the strength of a country or race is decisively influence by its economic level. Many developing countries in Africa are still obsessed by the problem of disease and poverty, not to mention to pursue the irresistible voice in the world. On the opposite, due to the increasingly development of economy in these 20 years, China become more influence in the global affairs. Thus, each government should be centering on its development strategy on economic construction.

On the other hand, making progress as the prime task doesn't mean than the authority can ignoring the impending environmental disaster. The air and water, which are the prerequisite for all the creatures, are now severely deteriorating due to the industrial civilization. The waste gas pulled by the modern traslation,transportation, fossil fuels burning by millions of factories, and household garbage are all competing with human for these two clean resources. Another serious long-term effect of pollution generated from economic boom is the global warming, which will melt the polar ice cap and cause devastating costal flooding all over the would. Major cities like Hongkong, Shanghai might be under the water in the near future. Furthermore, the shortage of resources and environmental degradation would eventually lead to economic regression. How to establish a compeletecomplete environmental legislation system to prevent and limit the continuous pollution as well as how to disposal the waste, are both inevitable responsibilities on the governments when they simultaneously carry out the economic strategy.

In sum, economic flourishing is the first task the aurthotities should concentrate on, for it is not only the great need of the people but also the foundation of the nation. The lack of resource and environmental degradation excessively restrict the development of the economy, which should call the government's attention. Sustainable development is merely cure.



[ 本帖最后由 nickey0809 于 2008-12-31 21:32 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2008-12-31 13:47:57 |只看该作者
a destitute family, living from hand to mouth,  很地道~~~~~
polar ice cap 都得都很好
可以看出词汇功底还是不错的
每段的论证中间衔接的也不错  furthermore  
另外你的拼写错了 再后面再写一遍是个好方法 学习了:loveliness:
要说缺点  我觉得LZ过于注意词汇的运动  有时候显得句式很凌乱,定语比较多。。我个人觉得IBT这种作文要写的一定复杂就好了 太多定语反而不好
PS:很多词汇真的不错 学习了
表面风光,内心彷徨;容颜未老,心已沧桑;似乎有才,实为江郎;成就难有,郁闷经常;比骡子累比蚂蚁忙,比岳飞更忠良!!

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板凳
发表于 2009-1-1 03:44:17 |只看该作者
As society advances and economy thrives nowadays, numerous of problems are in front of the government. (This sentence is grammatically right, but the logic doesn't make any sense to Americans. Maybe you can say "Confronted with number of problems regarding XXX, the government still needs to regulate the society as well as the economy, even though both of which are advancing.") Environmentalists lay the blame on authorities for the sake of severe pollution results from the industrialization. The citizens expect, by contrast, more positive measure to be taken by the officers to reach the verge of economic prosperity. Boom at the cost of environment or environmental protection without considering the economic progress, which aspect should be focused on, the government should make a choice. Close scrutiny reveals that, however, the aruthorities should persist policy of sustainable development with the economic advancement as the central task.
On one hand, economic problem is more urgent to deal with for the government. Firstly, the quality of people's lives, which closed link to the economic situation, is most concerned by the public. The government that fail(ed) to regulate and control to maintain(delete "to maintain." Try not to use too many verbs in one sentence) a steady economic growth will lose the trust of the people. For instance, a destitute family, living from hand to mouth, would reluctant to vote the candidate who is all mouth of harmony between human and nature instead any promise to change their lives("lives" --> "life." Here, life is abstract, so it should be used in singular form.). Furthermore, the strength of a country or race is decisively influence(d) by its economic level. Many developing countries in Africa are still obsessed by the problem of disease and poverty, not to mention to pursue the irresistible voice in the world. On the opposite, due to the increasingly development of economy in these 20 years, China become(became) more influence(influential) in the global affairs. Thus, each government should be centering on its development strategy on economic construction.
On the other hand, making progress as the prime task doesn't(does not) mean than(that) the authority can ignoring(ignore) the impending environmental disaster. The air and water, which are (Avoid using "which be" unless you have too) the prerequisite for all the creatures (just "all creatures," not "all the creatures"), are now severely deteriorating due to the industrial civilization. The waste gas pulled by the modern traslation,transportation, fossil fuels burning by millions of factories, and household garbage are all competing with human for these two clean resources. Another serious long-term effect of pollution generated from economic boom is the global warming, which will melt the polar ice cap and cause devastating costal flooding all over the would. Major cities like Hongkong, Shanghai might be under the water in the near future. Furthermore, the shortage of resources and environmental degradation would eventually lead to economic regression. How to establish a compeletecomplete environmental legislation system to prevent and limit the continuous pollution as well as how to disposal the waste, are both inevitable responsibilities on the governments when they simultaneously carry out the economic strategy.
In sum, economic flourishing is the first task the aurthotities should concentrate on, for it is not only the great need of the people but also the foundation of the nation. The lack of resource and environmental degradation excessively restrict the development of the economy, which should call the government's attention. Sustainable development is merely cure.
<br />



This essay is written in a logical manner, with a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures. I cannot think of any thing that you need to work on except for be more careful when you use verbs. Use the right form of the verb and use it only when needed.

I believe that you would obtain a good score on this test. Congratulations!!!!
~豆豆~改作文的小屋子
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iBT报名全流程[图解版]
GTER 07年TOEFL iBT口语|写作机经整理


Life is like a 2πr.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

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RE: 【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月30日作业 [修改]

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【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月30日作业
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