argument132【0906G ANap Hand 作文互改小组】第7次作业

comb300UID: 2443633

132The following appeared in an editorial in the local newspaper of Workville.

"Workers should be allowed to reduce their workload from 40 to 25 or even 20 hours per week because it is clear that people who work part-time instead of full-time have better health and improved morale. One store in Workville, which began allowing its employees to work part-time last year, reports that fewer days of sick leave were taken last year than in previous years. In contrast, the factory in Workville, which does not allow any of its employees to work part-time, had a slight increase in the number of days of sick leave taken last year. In addition, a recent survey reports that most of the store employees stated that they are satisfied with their jobs, while many of the factory employees stated that they are dissatisfied with their jobs."

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The argument suffers severe logical leaks from several major issues. The author concludes that workers should be allowed to work part-time to increase worker's satisfaction. Several examples which have been made to support the conclusion, however, have logical mistakes and make the argument unsound.

First of all, the author describes that part-time work have better health and improved morale as one store in Workville, to support the statement the author explains the situation of a store in Workville which changed their policy into part time and according to the report, the sick leave is reducing since then. The author has several misunderstanding about this situation. Firstly, there are lots of reason of sick leave, maybe there was certain contagious disease which troubled people from Workville for years and finally, last year, the disease was totally eliminated by advance medical technologies. This could explain the reduction of sick leave but it is not related with work. Maybe last year, government was publicizing the benefits of sports which improved people's resistibility and hence reduced the sick leave. Secondly, the author fails to identify the sources. Those reports might just some news agency's hoax to increase their recognition. Thirdly, reports do not state the specific number of sick leave days. If it is only one or two days shorter than pervious years, the change might be irrelevant. The argument does not provide creditable information about the sick leave nor the reports, it is unacceptable to public such information in newspaper.

Continually, the author compares a reversal situation that the factory in Workville which does not allow its employees to work part-time which had a slight increase in the number o days of sick leave last year. Nonetheless, the author fails to tell us the relationship between the store and factory. If the other store is a retail store which only has several employees while the factory has thousands of people working, then there is no comparability between these two. Even the store has a similar working situation with the factory, there are so many things could be vary in two different areas, such as someone accidently catches a flu and passes it to others, the machine's malfunction causes people's injure or the factory have some security troubles and causes a big fire. The author overlooks these possibilities and jump directly to the conclusion which makes the argument has many flaws.

Finally, the author describes that the store employee satisfied their jobs while factory employee do not, and according to the author, it also causes by working time. However, other factors could cause make employee happy as well, such as bonus, long distance oversea tour and working environment etc. The author es not deliver such information which makes the survey invalid.

To sum up, in order to make the argument sound, the author should provide information about the comparability of the store and factory, the credibility of the report and survey sources and eliminates other factors which could ultimately make the argument faultiness. Further researches and examples are needed to make the argument intact.

grekokomoUID: 2441677

怎么都不喜欢在首段罗列攻击点？

goingeastUID: 2439824

偶们这个小组比较喜欢，简洁的开头，我觉得挺好，开门见山！

原帖由 grekokomo 于 2009-1-9 22:16 发表
怎么都不喜欢在首段罗列攻击点？

grekokomoUID: 2441677

。。。。。。。。。。。

那好吧～:loveliness: