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Argument35
The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates（水杨酸脂） are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives（食品香料） for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
水杨酸酯和用来治疗头痛的药物--阿司匹林是同一类化合物。尽管很多食品天然富含水杨酸酯，过去几十年中食品加工公司仍然在食品中加入它来作为防腐剂。这种水杨酸酯在商业上的使用被发现与我们为期20年研究的参加者所报告的头痛发病的平均数量下降是相关的。最近，食品加工公司发现水杨酸酯也可以被用作食品香料。根据这种水杨酸酯的新用途，我们可以预期Mentia居民患头痛症的数量将会持续稳步下降。
1 同一类化合物不一定功能相同。
2 平均数量下降不一定只有这一个方面的影响因素。
3 即使有功能，不一定越多越有功效。
4 只是参加者报告数量下降，不一定等价于全部人群一起用会下降。而且也不一定持续下降。
This argument is losing all the sufficient support to proof the entire sentence the writer said. The writer want to decline the number of headaches suffered citizen by the new use for salicylates. With a further thought about this situation, we can find out the way to analysis this problem is statistically and methodologically unreliable.
First and foremost, as mentioned in the argument, the salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. So there is no other evidence to show that salicylates have the same function as the aspirin. Maybe salicylates have a bad influence for headaches. In this situation, the result given by the writer can be inconsiderable.
Also, writer give a research result to us, which is showing that the rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported. But the writer ignored other factors, such (as?）environment, food condition, pollution and the stress for people’s daily life that also can make a great effect on the number of headaches. Without given the reasonable answer, we cannot only say that the rise in the commercial use of salicylates could be(读起来感觉不好，应该是is？我语法不好，不清楚。。) the most important reason.
Even we consider that rise in the commercial use of salicylates could have a good effect on decline of the number, we can not get the idea that the more of the Salicylates, the better function it will make. Any medicine used out of the perfect range, would do harm to our body. The writer give no information about whether the amount of the salicylates used is enough of not. If there cannot be any benefit to put more salicylates in food, we should not put more salicylates in our food, avoiding the side effects.（有启发性）
Finally, last but not least, there is absolutely no evidence （to？）provided that salicylates could be useful for all the people all over the city. For may be this new medicine could be helpful to the participants, while no any effects to the ordinary people. (这样的表达有点牵强，participants全是不ordinary的？怀疑调查结果，质疑其参与者带表性可以用别的表达方法)People with different reference would get different rate of the （medicine when）headache occurred. Without the whole different type of the reference to this new salicylates, we can not receive a more reasonable assume.感觉不错的句子！
In sum, the argument relies on that the same chemical family should result in same effect. Also the writer ignores other factors that can also influence the number of the reported headaches. And the research result can not be used to descript all the people directly. Only when the writer had made a better research and analysis with other factors’ effect, can there be a much better result to decline the number of the headache for all the people in this city. 这篇文章论证比较全面，非得要改，只能鸡蛋里挑骨头了。我语法不好，括号里的要是改错了还请作者见谅啦！！
[ 本帖最后由 115463 于 2009-1-12 23:56 编辑 ] | 
发表于 2009-1-12 23:55:21
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