我的TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】

rita437UID: 2456810

Do you agree with nowaday eating meals with family regularly is less important?
Decades ago people eat each meal with family members around a huge table, chatting, laughing and sharing, nowadays it is often the case that only one or two people are left on a small table, leaving prepared foods in the refrigerator for those coming late. With the dramatic change in a social scale, eating with family member regularly seems less indispensable and attainable than before, yet, family reunion constitutes a so deep belief rooted in every member’s heart that we are not and should never waive the customs forever.

One change involves with the social changes that lead the change of family eating customs is the family pattern. In traditional huge family all brothers and sisters, litter babies to elder grandparents can get together around the table when having meals. Different member with various experience make the eating atmosphere much more enjoyable. While in the modern unclear family, where three members occupied a big house, everyone is so familiar with each other that hardly any fresh and manifold opinion can be exchanged. Therefore, eating in family regularly does not seem as beneficial as it once was.

Furthermore, in the pragmatic society that worship efficacy gradually, it hardly for a ordinary worker ruled by company to set aside a piles of work just for a common meals in family. My uncle is one of a staff in a transnational corporation, and every day what await him are endless files to read and programs to be arranged.” Why not come home having dinner on time before continuing to work?” Once I asked him when he came home late. “ If one day I have no time to see my family members, I can see you the next day, while once I miss my work, I would have no opportunity to see my boss again. I have no choice. “He replied.

Though my uncle’s words is upsetting, it reveals at least one of the most important meanings of family to its members—that is, family is always the coziest shelter for us no matter how far we go and how long we will return. Fortunately, survival circumstances deterrent us from regular meals in family, but the sense of family union is always cherished among people. In festival such as Thanksgiving Day or Halloween, even the most occupied people will fly to home to enjoy delicious and delicate dinner since we still attach great significance to the warmth of family loving us and we are devoted to love.

Wife awaits you to taste her elaborate-prepared cake; parents wait for you to assuage your annoyance; children look out to hear your funny story. No matter how tight your time and how fast your pace, remember to spare more time to have dinner with those your loved in family as possible as you can ,letting them know how much you care them.


我觉得我写多了，可是停不了笔。。可能是考完GRE的缘故。。有人能提提意见么，语言结构都可以~我不知道托福文章能这样些么。。还有我想报名互改小组，3.22考，ECNU的~
谢谢了

ddcmj519UID: 176326

Decades ago people ate each meal with family members around a huge table, chatting, laughing and sharing, nowadays it is often the case that only one or two people are left on a small table, leaving prepared foods in the refrigerator for those coming【这句意思不是很理解，跟前半句people left 貌似不是很接的上】. With the dramatic change in (a) social scale, eating with family member regularly seems less indispensable and attainable than before, yet, family reunion constitutes a so deep belief rooted in every member’s heart that we are not and should never waive the customs forever.

One change involves with the social changes that lead the change of family eating customs is the family pattern. In traditional huge family all brothers and sisters, little babies to elder grandparents can get together around the table when having meals[这个短语貌似重复的多了点。。]. Different member with different[various 貌似不太合适] experience make the eating atmosphere much more enjoyable. 【以上这句貌似过去时？】While in the modern unclear family, where three members occupy a big house, everyone【as their own opinion】 is so familiar with each other that hardly any fresh and manifold opinion can be exchanged. Therefore, eating in family regularly does not seem as beneficial as it once was.

Furthermore, in the pragmatic society that worship efficacy gradually, it hardly for a ordinary worker ruled by company to set aside (a) piles of work just for a common meals in family. My uncle is one of a staff in a transnational corporation, and every day what await him are endless files to [be] read and programs to be arranged.” Why not come home having dinner on time before continuing to work?” Once I asked him when he came home late. “ If one day I have no time to see my family members, I can see you the next day, while once I miss my work, I would have no opportunity to see my boss again. I have no choice. “He replied.

Though my uncle’s words is upsetting, it reveals at least one of the most important meanings of family to its members—that is, family is always the coziest shelter for us no matter how far we go and how long we (will) [spend? return比较奇怪。。]. Fortunately, survival circumstances deterrent us from regular meals in family, but the sense of family union is always cherished among people. In festival such as Thanksgiving Day or Halloween, even the most occupied people will fly to home to enjoy delicious and delicate dinner since we still attach great significance to the warmth of family [that loves] us and we are devoted to love.

Wife awaits you to taste her elaborate-prepared cake; parents wait for you to assuage your annoyance; children look out to hear your funny story. No matter how tight your time and how fast your pace, remember to spare more time to have dinner with those your loved in family as possible as you can ,letting them know how much you care them.

（）删除  【】我的改动
嗯。。30分钟如果你能写那么多当然很好啦~~
个别细节有些小问题而已~

ddcmj519UID: 176326

Decades ago people ate each meal with family members around a huge table, chatting, laughing and sharing, nowadays it is often the case that only one or two people are left on a small table, leaving prepared foods in the refrigerator for those coming【这句意思不是很理解，跟前半句people left 貌似不是很接的上】. With the dramatic change in (a) social scale, eating with family member regularly seems less indispensable and attainable than before, yet, family reunion constitutes a so deep belief rooted in every member’s heart that we are not and should never waive the customs forever.

One change involves with the social changes that lead the change of family eating customs is the family pattern. In traditional huge family all brothers and sisters, little babies to elder grandparents can get together around the table when having meals[这个短语貌似重复的多了点。。]. Different member with different[various 貌似不太合适] experience make the eating atmosphere much more enjoyable. 【以上这句貌似过去时？】While in the modern unclear family, where three members occupy a big house, everyone【as their own opinion】 is so familiar with each other that hardly any fresh and manifold opinion can be exchanged. Therefore, eating in family regularly does not seem as beneficial as it once was.

Furthermore, in the pragmatic society that worship efficacy gradually, it hardly for a ordinary worker ruled by company to set aside (a) piles of work just for a common meals in family. My uncle is one of a staff in a transnational corporation, and every day what await him are endless files to [be] read and programs to be arranged.” Why not come home having dinner on time before continuing to work?” Once I asked him when he came home late. “ If one day I have no time to see my family members, I can see you the next day, while once I miss my work, I would have no opportunity to see my boss again. I have no choice. “He replied.

Though my uncle’s words is upsetting, it reveals at least one of the most important meanings of family to its members—that is, family is always the coziest shelter for us no matter how far we go and how long we (will) [spend? return比较奇怪。。]. Fortunately, survival circumstances deterrent us from regular meals in family, but the sense of family union is always cherished among people. In festival such as Thanksgiving Day or Halloween, even the most occupied people will fly to home to enjoy delicious and delicate dinner since we still attach great significance to the warmth of family [that loves] us and we are devoted to love.

Wife awaits you to taste her elaborate-prepared cake; parents wait for you to assuage your annoyance; children look out to hear your funny story. No matter how tight your time and how fast your pace, remember to spare more time to have dinner with those your loved in family as possible as you can ,letting them know how much you care them.

（）删除  【】我的改动
嗯。。30分钟如果你能写那么多当然很好啦~~
个别细节有些小问题而已~

tammyppUID: 2547015

个人感觉你这篇文章太GRE了。
文章的大部分在铺垫为什么不能回家吃饭，到最后才提出回家吃饭的好处和自己选择的agree or disagree.
语言无可挑剔，但结构上这样做好不好呢.请高手指点。