issue 197

nortromUID: 2591367

197-Interconnection of nations
"The material progress and well-being of one country are necessarily connected to the material progress and well-being of all other countries."
一个国家的生活质量提高和社会的安定是和其他所有国家的生活质量提高和社会安定密不可分的。

1.      
1.      1. 基本同意作者的观点，一个国家的发展水平和其他国家的发展水平有很大关系，然而国家自身的决定起了更大作用。
2.       2.当今世界经济一体化的背景下，各国的经济相互依赖。割裂与世界的联系独自发展几乎不可能。
3.       3.任何一个地区的冲突都可能引发世界范围的冲突，特别当冲突牵涉到不同国家的利益。比如像二战这样的战争中，美国原先保持中立，最后还是参战。因此国家的安定离不开世界范围的安定。
4.       4.然而在古代，信息交流不发达时期，一个国家的发展基本依赖于自身资源，科学水平，以及统治阶级的政策。甚至在一些偏远地区的国家，他们与外界联系很少，有独立的社会体系，自给自足。因此不太依赖其他国家。
5.       5.结论。一个国家的发展依赖于其他国家，这源于社会的进步和信息交流的发达。并且这种趋势正在加强。但必须指出，任何国家在离开其他国家的情况下同样能发展，只是这种发展很缓慢。

I fundamentally agree with the speaker’s broad assertion that the material progress and well-being of one country are connected to those of all other countries. But in the mean time, I do not think this connection is necessary, because the decision of a country plays a more important role.

First, I concede that nowadays, in the background of economic integration, a country’s economy condition is inevitably connected to that of other countries’. Import and export have become a vital factor to a country’s development. A complete and healthy trade agreement could bring considerable benefits for both countries. Moreover, every country differs in natural resource, science and technology. It will be very hard to solve all the domestic problems without the help of other countries and not to say having a quick development. On the other hand, having close relationship with other countries means a complete exposure to the world. There will be a limit of freedom when the country wishes to sign a new law or have some changes in the policy. In other words, it will be controlled by other countries in some respect. Furthermore, the domestic economy will be restrained by the global economy. It will be greatly hit when there’s a big recession in other countries.

And things are similar when it comes to the well-being of people. Wherever a conflict takes place, it is sure to involve several countries, because all of these countries are chasing for their profits. When a world-wide-war breaks out, like the Second World War, it is almost impossible for a country to remain neutral. Though the United State tried to avoid the war, the government finally made up its mind to involve. So the peace of a country is largely relied on the peace of the whole world.

Despite the merit of this assertion, I find some illustrations which do not support the speaker’s claim. First has to be the situation in the ancient time when communication and transportation are not so developed. One country rarely has relationship with another. In this time, the progress in material is made little by little and there’s big difference in science level. Despite the imbalance of different areas, each country depends mainly on itself. Moreover, even in the present generation, still there are some countries which located in remote areas do not have much interaction with outside world. Most of them are uncivilized and have a small population, but they are living a steady life and have progress in a slow way.

In the final analysis, I agree that in most conditions a country’s material progress and well-being are connected to those of other countries. And only in this way can this country develop very fast and keep the pace of the whole world. However, there are still possibilities that a country gets material progress without other countries. In fact, it is free for every country to choose to depend on itself or have connection with others. And merely all the countries choose the latter one.

words 502

slipingUID: 2584903

197-Interconnection of nations
"The material progress and well-being of one country are necessarily connected to the material progress and well-being of all other countries."
一个国家的生活质量提高和社会的安定是和其他所有国家的生活质量提高和社会安定密不可分的。

1.      
1.      1. 基本同意作者的观点，一个国家的发展水平和其他国家的发展水平有很大关系，然而国家自身的决定起了更大作用。
2.       2.当今世界经济一体化的背景下，各国的经济相互依赖。割裂与世界的联系独自发展几乎不可能。
3.       3.任何一个地区的冲突都可能引发世界范围的冲突，特别当冲突牵涉到不同国家的利益。比如像二战这样的战争中，美国原先保持中立，最后还是参战。因此国家的安定离不开世界范围的安定。
4.       4.然而在古代，信息交流不发达时期，一个国家的发展基本依赖于自身资源，科学水平，以及统治阶级的政策。甚至在一些偏远地区的国家，他们与外界联系很少，有独立的社会体系，自给自足。因此不太依赖其他国家。
5.       5.结论。一个国家的发展依赖于其他国家，这源于社会的进步和信息交流的发达。并且这种趋势正在加强。但必须指出，任何国家在离开其他国家的情况下同样能发展，只是这种发展很缓慢。

I fundamentally agree with the speaker’s broad assertion that the material progress and well-being of one country are connected to those of all other countries. But in the mean time, I do not think this connection is necessary, because the decision of a country plays a more important role.总感觉你这个转折有点怪，你在看看，好像有点太绝对，把你之前点的观点都要淹没了

First, I concede that nowadays, in the background of economic integration, a country’s economy condition the economy condition of a country非生物名词所有格还是这样比较好一些的 is inevitably connected to that of other countries’. Import and export have become a vital factor to a country’s development. A complete and healthy trade agreement could bring considerable benefits for to bring sb sth 或者 bring sth to sb both countries因这里可以写一些带来好处的原， 要不然就显得有些空洞 Moreover, every country is differs in natural resource, science and technology. It will be very hard to solve all the domestic problems without the help of other countries ，yet and not to say having a quick development. On the other hand, having close relationship with other countries means a complete exposure to the world. There will be a limit of freedom when the country wishes to sign a new law or have some changes in the policy. In other words, it will be controlled by other countries in some respects. Furthermore, the domestic economy will be restrained by the global economy. It will be greatly hit when there’s a big recession in other countries.从正反两方面论证 很好

And things are similar In a not dissimilar way 这样更地道when it comes to the well-being of people. Wherever a conflict takes place, it is sure to involve several countries, because all of these countries are chasing for their profits. When a world-wide-war breaks out, like the Second World War, it is almost impossible for a country to remain neutral这一句欠考虑 毕竟二战时还有很多国家是没有参战的. Though the United State tried to avoid the war, the government finally made up its mind to involve. So the peace of a country is largely relied on the peace of the whole world.改成other countries 吧

Despite the merits of this assertion, I find some illustrations which do not support the speaker’s claim. First has to be the situation in the ancient time when communication and transportation are not so developed这一句是不是少了主语还是什么的 好像不太顺. One country rarely has relationship with another. In this time, the progress in material is made little by little and there’s big difference in science level这个跟他们与外界没联系有什么关系呢？是他们的步调不一致所以才独自发展吗？还是、、、？那就再加一句写出来吧. Despite the imbalance of different areas, each country depends mainly on itself. Moreover, even in the present generation, still there are some countries which located in remote areas do not have much interaction with outside world. Most of them are uncivilized and have a small population, but they are living a steady life and have progress in a slow way.

In the final analysis, I agree that in most conditions a country’s material progress and well-being are connected to those of other countries. And only in this way can this country develop very fast and keep the pace of the whole world. However, there are still possibilities that a country gets material progress without other countries. In fact, it is free for every country to choose to depend on itself or have connection with others. And 这里用and不妥 用一个转折的词会更好merely all the countries choose the latter one.

看到第三段才知道你的第二段是根据物质那一方面去写的，其实可以在第二段开头交代更清楚的 整体看来还不错啦