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[活动] 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 chelseajcole的 第一次作业】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-4 20:35:14 |显示全部楼层
Do you agree or disagree? Playing computer games is wasting time; children should not be allowed to play them.

I disagree with the opinion which not allowed children to play computer games.As we all know,all works and no play makes Jack a dull boy.If children do the paper-based homework from day to night,then can learn nothing but the boring text knowledge and entangle with tension.What a nightmare for them!

Maybe numerous parents and teachers argue that play useless computer games occupy mass time so that their kids or students can't finish the homework.What's more,computer games tend to attract children.As a result,they immerge in games and overlook their mean mission.

However,all the complains neglect a hypoyhesis is that if children play computer games in a limit time and under the supervise of parents,they will not only get fun in it but also learn the basic computer knowledge and practise their computer skills.Above all,children can be cultivated character in games which make them more brave or know the importance of cooperate with each other.These kinds of things are never learnt in our book.

It is obviously wrong for us to prohibite children to play computer games.The pith problem of the dilemma is how to manage the game hours and lead our next generation to the success in the future.

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发表于 2009-2-6 17:43:44 |显示全部楼层
I disagree with the opinion which not allowed children to play computer games.As we all know,all works and no play makes Jack a dull boy.If children do the paper-based homework from day to night,then can(then they’ll) learn nothing but the boring text knowledge and entangle with tension.What a nightmare for them!
Maybe numerous parents and teachers argue that play useless computer games occupy(playing…occupies) mass time so that their kids or students can't finish the homework.What's more,computer games tend to attract children.As a result, they immerge (immerge themselves/are immerged)in games and overlook their mean mission.
However,all the complains neglect a hypoyhesis(hypothesis) is(is不要) that if children play computer games in a limit time and under the supervise of parents,they will not only get fun in it but also learn the basic computer knowledge and practise their computer skills.Above all,children can be cultivated character(children’s character can be cultivated) in games which make them more brave or know the importance of cooperate(cooperation) with each other.These kinds of things are never learnt in our book.

It is obviously wrong(也不完全是wrong,禁止也是有道理的,所以可以说适当控制时间之类) for us to prohibite(prohibit) children to play computer games.The pith problem of the dilemma is how to manage the game hours and lead our next generation to the success in the future.(观点是disagree,但是disagree的部分论述了少了点,总体字数也还欠缺~)

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发表于 2009-2-6 17:44:07 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 rockzongli 于 2009-2-6 17:45 编辑

改的也不是很到位~互相学习~

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发表于 2009-2-7 15:11:05 |显示全部楼层
非常感谢

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发表于 2009-2-8 00:56:40 |显示全部楼层
I disagree with the opinion which not allowed children to play computer games.As we all know,all works and no play makes Jack a dull boy.If children do the paper-based homework from day to night,then can learn nothing but the boring text knowledge and entangle with tension.What a nightmare for them! (As an old motto goes,"all work and no play makes a dull boy",those who do the paper-based homework day and night can merely gain boring text knowledge by rote, children fail to aquire any pratical knowledge)
Maybe numerous parents and teachers argue(claim) that play(playing) useless computer games occupy mass time so that their kids or students can't finish the homework.What's more,computer games tend to attract children.As a result,they immerge in games and overlook their mean(main) mission. + I) q* p; S7 J3 R! Q
& P' |, h5 E* O2 O6 J
However,all the complains neglect a hypoyhesis is that if children play computer games in a limit(limited) time and under the supervise(supervision) of parents,they will not only get fun in it but also learn the basic computer knowledge and practise(improve) their computer skills.Above all,children can be cultivated character in games which make them more brave or know the importance of cooperate with each other.These kinds of things are never learnt in our book. % N9 H( N0 X, ~. `( _. g
5 q7 B: Z; y8 d, `* f- l
It is obviously wrong for us to prohibite children to play computer games.The pith problem of the dilemma is how to manage the game hours and lead our next generation to the success in the future.
建议楼主在用好连词的基础上继续扩充内容,论证和例子
    继续加油

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RE: 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 chelseajcole的 第一次作业】 [修改]

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【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组 chelseajcole的 第一次作业】
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