【09年2月-3月GRE作文突击小组】圣斗士2月6日作文Argument232

d596086UID: 2522476

Arguemnt232：The following appeared in a memo from the sales manager of Eco-Power, a company that manufactures tools and home appliances. "Many popular radio and television commercials use memorable tunes and song lyrics to call attention to the products being advertised. Indeed, a recent study of high school students showed that 85 percent could easily recognize the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants. Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during the past year, sales of our home appliances declined. Therefore, to boost company profits, we should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song."

After reading this memo, I find that this argument tries to persuade us that, as for Eco-Power company, switching to advertisements which have unique song lyrics and tunes is the best method to put company on the correct way toward development. And a survey of high school students seems to be a strong evidence showing that music advertising is successful. However, no matter the assumption, the evidence, or the conclusion of this memo, can barely make me believe that the advertisements with a distinctive song will change the company's present situation.

In the first place, the study of high school students is suspected in several respects. First, this memo does not give us specific details about this research, including the number students surveyed and the number of respondents. It is very possible that only 10 students were surveyed actually, then the validity of the results is doubted. Second, we also did not know whether the distribution of this survey is reasonable. If the students, who said they could recognize the tunes used to advertise certain products, all come from certain limited areas, but students living in other place can not recognize them at all, then we can not say that this advertising way is effective. Even if the first two points are convictive, it is not necessary to say that the students who can recognize the advertisements likely tend to be loyal customers to those products.

In addition, even if the soft drinks and fast-food restaurant truly made a triumphant in business running by advertising memorable tunes and song lyrics, it does not means that the Eco-Power company is able to receive the same active result as them. That is to say, the author ignores the differences between the Eco-Power and the other two companies. Many people, especially the young, want to buy soft drinks or go to restaurants may just for fun relaxing themselves. If so, an eccentric tune or distinctive lyric justly accord to their appetite. However, the customers of manufactures tools or home appliances would put the products' function in the first place. Thereby, a distinctive song hardly has any impression value to those people, not to mention induct them to buy Eco-Power’s products.

Finally, the argument relies on the assumption that the declined situation of home appliances of Eco-Power is ascribed to the adverting problems. Nevertheless, without confirmed evidence, I cast doubt on this memo that the failure of Eco-Power's sales may due to other factors, such as the function, the price, the service, and so on. Also, adopting this strategy can hardly ensures the increasing profits Eco-Power Company will receive. After all, a new advertising investment means a higher cost of products, which mightily leads to a higher price of products. If so, it is entirely possible that fewer and fewer people would make the Eco-Power's as their first options,

In conclusion, this memo is unpersuasive as it stands in many ways. To bolster it, the sales manger must provider us more information about the survey. At the same time, more assurances need to be offered that the distinctive song in advertisements is beneficial to the sales of Eco-Power products. I would also need to know whether there are any other methods or ideas that will bring more profit to the Eco-Power company.

tanyujing2UID: 2600111

Arguemnt232：The following appeared in a memo from the sales manager of Eco-Power, a company that manufactures tools and home appliances.
"Many popular radio and television commercials use memorable tunes and song lyrics to call attention to the products being advertised. Indeed, a recent study of high school students showed that 85 percent could easily recognize the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants. Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during the past year, sales of our home appliances declined. Therefore, to boost company profits, we should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song."

After reading this memo, I find that this argument tries to persuade us that, as for Eco-Power company, switching to advertisements which have unique song lyrics and tunes is the best method（我觉得这里不要用最高级，用比较级好些） to put company on the correct way toward development. And a survey of high school students seems to be a strong evidence showing that music advertising is successful. However, no matter（no matter的用法：1。之后加wh-句式，2.no matter ….or not句式） the assumption, the evidence, or the conclusion of this memo, can barely make me believe that the advertisements with a distinctive song will change the company's present situation.
结尾很好，有说服力

In the first place, the study of high school students is suspected in several respects. First, this memo does not give us specific details about this research, including the number students surveyed and the number of respondents. It is very possible that only 10 students were surveyed actually, then the validity of the results is doubted. Second, we also did not know whether the distribution of this survey is reasonable. If the students, who said they could recognize the tunes used to advertise certain products, all come from certain limited areas, but students living in other place can not recognize them at all, then we can not say that this advertising way is effective. Even if the first two points are convictive, it is not necessary to say that the students who can recognize the advertisements likely tend to be loyal customers to those products.
Cogent~!

In addition, even if the soft drinks and fast-food restaurant truly made a triumphant in business running by advertising memorable tunes and song lyrics, it does not means that the Eco-Power company is able to receive the same active result as them. That is to say, the author ignores the differences between the Eco-Power and the other two companies. Many people, especially the young, want to buy soft drinks or go to restaurants may just for fun and relaxing(relax) themselves. If so, an eccentric tune or distinctive lyric justly accord to their appetite. However, the customers of manufactures tools or home appliances would put the products' function in the first place(你是想表达“顾客把功能放在第一位”这个意思吧？此处句子有点奇怪~). Thereby, a distinctive song hardly has any impression（impressive） value to those people, not to mention induct them(mention and induce?) to buy Eco-Power’s products.

Finally, the argument relies on the assumption that the declined(decling) situation of home appliances of Eco-Power is ascribed to the adverting problems. Nevertheless, without confirmed evidence, I cast doubt on this memo that the failure of Eco-Power's sales may due to other factors, such as the function, the price, the service, and so on. Also, adopting this strategy can hardly ensures the increasing profits Eco-Power Company will receive. After all, a new advertising investment means a higher cost of products, which mightily leads to a higher price of products. If so, it is entirely possible that fewer and fewer people would make the Eco-Power's as their first options,

In conclusion, this memo is unpersuasive as it stands in many ways. To bolster it, the sales manger must provider us more information about the survey. At the same time, more assurances need to be offered that the distinctive song in advertisements is beneficial to the sales of Eco-Power products. I would also need to know whether there are any other methods or ideas that will bring more profit to the Eco-Power company.

2009/02/08
logic fallacies都明确提出来了，非常明确，这是我没有做到的，纠正一些小的语用方面的错误，你的ARGUE高分没有问题的~！哦，对了，我看到几篇ARGUE，关于什么考古啊，天文啊什么的，有点变态，我们要不要试试？

tanyujing2UID: 2600111

Arguemnt232：The following appeared in a memo from the sales manager of Eco-Power, a company that manufactures tools and home appliances.
"Many popular radio and television commercials use memorable tunes and song lyrics to call attention to the products being advertised. Indeed, a recent study of high school students showed that 85 percent could easily recognize the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks and fast-food restaurants. Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during the past year, sales of our home appliances declined. Therefore, to boost company profits, we should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song."

After reading this memo, I find that this argument tries to persuade us that, as for Eco-Power company, switching to advertisements which have unique song lyrics and tunes is the best method（我觉得这里不要用最高级，用比较级好些） to put company on the correct way toward development. And a survey of high school students seems to be a strong evidence showing that music advertising is successful. However, no matter（no matter的用法：1。之后加wh-句式，2.no matter ….or not句式） the assumption, the evidence, or the conclusion of this memo, can barely make me believe that the advertisements with a distinctive song will change the company's present situation.
结尾很好，有说服力

In the first place, the study of high school students is suspected in several respects. First, this memo does not give us specific details about this research, including the number students surveyed and the number of respondents. It is very possible that only 10 students were surveyed actually, then the validity of the results is doubted. Second, we also did not know whether the distribution of this survey is reasonable. If the students, who said they could recognize the tunes used to advertise certain products, all come from certain limited areas, but students living in other place can not recognize them at all, then we can not say that this advertising way is effective. Even if the first two points are convictive, it is not necessary to say that the students who can recognize the advertisements likely tend to be loyal customers to those products.
Cogent~!

In addition, even if the soft drinks and fast-food restaurant truly made a triumphant in business running by advertising memorable tunes and song lyrics, it does not means that the Eco-Power company is able to receive the same active result as them. That is to say, the author ignores the differences between the Eco-Power and the other two companies. Many people, especially the young, want to buy soft drinks or go to restaurants may just for fun and relaxing(relax) themselves. If so, an eccentric tune or distinctive lyric justly accord to their appetite. However, the customers of manufactures tools or home appliances would put the products' function in the first place(你是想表达“顾客把功能放在第一位”这个意思吧？此处句子有点奇怪~). Thereby, a distinctive song hardly has any impression（impressive） value to those people, not to mention induct them(mention and induce?) to buy Eco-Power’s products.

Finally, the argument relies on the assumption that the declined(decling) situation of home appliances of Eco-Power is ascribed to the adverting problems. Nevertheless, without confirmed evidence, I cast doubt on this memo that the failure of Eco-Power's sales may due to other factors, such as the function, the price, the service, and so on. Also, adopting this strategy can hardly ensures the increasing profits Eco-Power Company will receive. After all, a new advertising investment means a higher cost of products, which mightily leads to a higher price of products. If so, it is entirely possible that fewer and fewer people would make the Eco-Power's as their first options,

In conclusion, this memo is unpersuasive as it stands in many ways. To bolster it, the sales manger must provider us more information about the survey. At the same time, more assurances need to be offered that the distinctive song in advertisements is beneficial to the sales of Eco-Power products. I would also need to know whether there are any other methods or ideas that will bring more profit to the Eco-Power company.