【☆09GRE作文冲刺组☆】09年2月8号作业

tanyujing2UID: 2600111

Issue 56.Government should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future.

(urgent and long-run)


The goal of governments is to make a nation peaceful and prosperous in contemporary society so that, to most countries, their governments’ policies is to address the problems recently happened in order to make their people feel safe and secure.While the long-run and potential issues of the nations would be neglected since the governments are being busy to solving tricky problems by hands. It is the social phenomenon that force me to analysis the issue :which should draw more attention, urgent problems or long-run problems in a nation.



When the Mayflower shipped to the harbor of the continent of the North America,it didn’t imagine the Civil War which was aroused by constant racial bias. When the colonizers happily won the Revolutionary War and undermined the Great Britain’s forceful restriction of personal freedoms, they never noticed that the potential fears which the colonists have. At the later time,the people living and working in America had to confront a fierce and bloody war which could be even stopped before and moreover, their faith of American dream was challenged by newly released anti-social problems.


In those cases, some insightful person such as philosophers and polititians never gave up finding the way to explain and address the problems might be happened in the future. What they want to do is to avoid the conflicts harrassing human race. However, not all the governments are sagacious governments. Some of them are continuing to make conflicts for even tiny national interests, so that we still seem to do nothing to deal with the so-called long-run problems. That is to say, if the govornments take their newly aroused issues more into consideration and adopt the suggestions from the general wits sincerely, then they would lower the risk of confronting more triky problems which would happened in the future. What’s more, focusing on the future problems always give us the time to appease the pain which was caused by immediate problems. Is this a coincidence that Obama won the presidental election while his people just forgot the terrible economic crisis and put him up? No,that is not a placibo effection. It is Obama who has the wit policies for the future social reform and makes his people convinced that they can and will find the American faith soon.


There is no doubts that people always care more about the immediate problems in quotidian life though they often fix themselves to the future unknown issues, since the immediate problems always have something to do with their daily interests. People have to solve them immediately in order to avoid more harrassing affairs.But for the government, they can not spare no efforts in immediate affairs and leave the future ones away. It is the government’s obligation to propose proper policies to meet people’s future needs and make people feel better than before.


If a government thinks that recently happened affairs are more important than the future problems and just take immediate measures to solve daily problems, it would not be a lifelong one.

TOPIC: ARGUMENT238 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.

"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."

As is said in the memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College(MVC) to the college’s board of trustees, the president of the college wants to take some measures which was successfully ran by the nearby Green Mountain College(GMC) to address the issue of hunting a job for the graduating seniors. Ironically, the president’s reasons of using the identical ways to enhance the opportunity for the graduating students of his college to find the jobs can not necessarily attribute to the conclusion that if MVC offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors it would help more students to find the jobs.

Initially, the relationship between the fact that the GMC has more business courses and more job counselors than MVC does and the fact that 90 percent of last year’s graduating seniors of GMV had job offers from prospective employers can not be articulated as causal relationship, since there is no evidence of GMV can explain that those courses and job counselors actually help the graduating students hunt the proming job. What’s more, the president fails to consider the fact that whether there are more successful ways the students of GMV can do to find a job. For instance, the senior students of GMV may have more experience to get
the jobs, they may be so successful in dealing with the relationship among the human beings, or they may be just get part-time job and tiny salaries which the students of MVC do not want to accept.

Additionally, the facts that only 70 percent of the seniors of MVC had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study can not account for the fact that the graduates of MVC are not more excellent than GMV’s. That is to say, from my point of view, the MVC’s graduates may be want to get more promising jobs and want to do the jobs concerning to their major field of study, and may be the failure for the MVC’s students of hunting a job was not caused by the inadequat knowledge of business and computer and not caused by the casual and unprincipled resume.On the contrary, the claim of GMV has no hint that the students of GMV are more likely finding jobs for their affection and their majors.

Finally, in order to help MVC’s students find employment, we can not just only offer more business and computer courses and hire more job counselors to help them fulfil their resumes and interviewing skills, but we can also consider orter ways to make the students special in the working field.We should hire more professionals to teach the students the very sophisticating knowledge to make them do well in their major field of study and serch for more job tutorship for the students to improve their practical experience.

All in all, the purpose of education is not the importance that make students capable to get a ideal job, but the one that give them the direction to the satisfying future life.The president of MVC could take more important aspect into consideration to think what is we shoud do and what is we should not.

d596086UID: 2522476

修改附件如下

hjjsherriffUID: 2459384

The goal of governments is to make a （the contemporary society）nation peaceful and prosperous in contemporary society so that, to most countries, their governments’ policies is(are) to address the problems recently happened in order to make(比较怪) their people feel safe and secure.While
the long-run and potential issues of the nations would（加inevitably觉得好点） be neglected since the governments are being busy to solving(are busy dealing with) tricky?? problems by hands. It is the social phenomenon that force me to analysis（analyze） the issue :which should draw more attention, urgent problems or long-run problems in a nation.(It is 那一句感觉比较造作)


When the Mayflower shipped to the harbor of the continent of the North America,it didn’t imagine the Civil War which was aroused by constant racial bias.（比较怪，jimagine that the constant racial bias would lead to the Civil War afterward） When the colonizers happily won the Revolutionary War and undermined the Great Britain’s forceful restriction of(on) personal freedoms, they never noticed that the potential fears(threat) which the colonists have. At the later time(Later或者其他),the（不要） people living and working in America had to confront a fierce and bloody war which could be even stopped before and（看不明） moreover, their faith of American dream was challenged by newly released（existing） anti-social problems.
（这段个人觉得就是搬例子，没有什么自己的观点，我觉得不可以独立成段，开头也没有中心句）
In those cases, some insightful person such as philosophers and polititians（politicians） never gave up finding the way to explain and address the problems might be happened in the future. What they want to do is to avoid the conflicts harrassing human race. However, not all the governments are sagacious governments. Some of them are continuing to make（arise） conflicts for even tiny national interests, so that we still seem to do nothing to deal with the so-called long-run problems. That is to say, if the govornments take their newly aroused issues more into consideration and adopt the suggestions from the general wits sincerely, then they would lower the risk of confronting more triky problems which would happened in the future. What’s more, focusing on the future problems always give us the time（distract us from the pain） to appease the pain which was caused by immediate problems. Is this a coincidence that Obama won the presidental election while(with his people forgetting…… ) his people just forgot the terrible economic crisis and put him up? No,that is not a placibo effection. It is Obama who has the wit policies for the future social reform and makes his people convinced that they can and will find the American faith soon.
（还是不能弄懂要表达的意思，抱歉.）
There is no doubts that people always care more about the immediate problems in quotidian life though they often fix themselves to the future unknown issues, since the immediate problems always have something to do with their daily interests. People have to solve them immediately in order to avoid more harrassing affairs.But for the government, they can not spare no efforts in（忘记是否错了） immediate affairs and leave the future ones away. It is the government’s obligation to propose proper policies to meet people’s future needs and make people feel better than before.
If a government thinks that recently happened affairs are more important than the future problems and just take immediate measures to solve daily problems, it would not be a lifelong one.（it would not last long ）

整篇文章觉得框架比较乱，表达得不清晰。觉得应该先写提纲再写作文。
TOPIC: ARGUMENT238 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.

"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."
As is said in the memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College(MVC) to the college’s board of trustees, the president of the college wants to take some measures which was successfully ran by the nearby Green Mountain College(GMC) to address the issue of hunting a job（jobs） for the graduating seniors. Ironically（太尖酸了吧）, the president’s reasons of using the identical ways to enhance the opportunity for the graduating students of his college to find the jobs can not necessarily attribute to the conclusion that if MVC offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors it would help more students to find the jobs.
Initially, the relationship between the fact that the GMC has more business courses and more job counselors than MVC does and the fact that 90 percent of last year’s graduating seniors of GMV had job offers from prospective employers can not be articulated as causal relationship, since there is no evidence of GMV can explain（太国语话了，since no evidence excplain） that those courses and job counselors actually help the graduating students hunt the proming job. What’s more, the president fails to consider the fact that whether there are more successful ways the students of GMV can do to find a job. For instance, the senior students of GMV may have more experience to getthe jobs, they may be so successful in dealing with the relationship among the human beings, or they may be just get part-time job and tiny salaries which the students of MVC do not want to accept.
Additionally, the facts that only 70 percent of the seniors of MVC had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study can not account for the fact that the graduates of MVC are not more excellent than GMV’s. That is to say, from my point of view, the MVC’s graduates may be want to get more promising jobs and want to do the jobs concerning to their major field of study, and may be the failure for the MVC’s students of hunting a job was not caused by the inadequat knowledge of business and computer and not caused by the casual and unprincipled resume(was caused neither by ……,nor by ……..).On the contrary, the claim of GMV has no hint that the students of GMV are more likely finding jobs for their affection and their majors.
Finally, in order to help MVC’s students find employment, we can not just only offer more business and computer courses and hire more job counselors to help them fulfil their resumes and interviewing skills, but we can also consider orter ways to make the students special in the working field.We should hire more professionals to teach the students the very sophisticating knowledge to make them do well in their major field of study(不要) and serch for more job tutorship for the students to improve their practical experience.
All in all, the purpose of education is not the importance（中式） that make students capable to get a ideal job, but the one that give them the direction to the（不要） satisfying future life.The president of MVC could take more important aspect into consideration to think what is we shoud do and what is we should not.

总体来说，逻辑顺序没有安排好，攻击点写得比较乱，应该先列提纲再写，也有很多拼写错误。建议先看模板。

hjjsherriffUID: 2459384

我是第一次修改作文，请见谅， 由于不会上传文档，所以改了的很多红字都消失了，抱歉！！加油！