Argument235【0906G背水一战三月小组】第1次作业 by gy2006211

gy2006211UID: 2495505

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Argument235. The following appeared in a memorandum from the general manager of KNOW radio station.
"Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, for example, the number of older people in our listening area has increased dramatically, while the total number of our listeners has recently declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful, and a survey taken just before the recent election shows that local citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politics."

提纲：
1 听者人数减少和老人听者数量的增加不能代表喜欢听摇滚乐的减少了 反而证明摇滚节目没做好
2 音乐店音乐销量下降不代表人们不喜欢摇滚了
3错误类比 调查不可靠


正文：
In the memorandum, the general manager of KNOW radio station; recommend that the radio station should shit its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. To support the recommendation the manager cites that (1)the number of older people in their listening area has increased dramatically, while the total number of their listener has declined ,and that (2) the sales of recorded in music stores of their area decreased. The manger also cites that (3) the success of continuous news station in their nearby cites and the recent survey. This memorandum contains several logical flaws, which render it unconvincing.

To begin with, the manager unfairly take people fact that the total number of their listeners declined while more old listeners tend to be their listeners for people in their area become uninterested in rock-and-roll music. The manger fail to consider other solutions such as the job competition in their area become ardent in order to keep their jobs the young people have to spend more time on working and have little time to listen to radio or the young people go to travel can not listen to the music that cause the decrease in the total number of the listeners. And it is possible that the weather outside is serious bad these days old people have no other entertainments? but only listening to the radio cause the augment of the number of old people. In my views, it seems that not because people loss interest in the rock-and-roll music but on the contrary may be the lower quality of rock-and-roll music program that result in the decrease of listeners ,if so, they should they should improve not annul the rock-and-roll music program.

The memorandum also unfairly assumes that the decreased sales of recorded music indicate that people in their area are no longer in favor of rock-and-roll music. However, this may because of the development of online music or C2C webs like EBay that people can listen to or buy music through the Internet and do not need to go to music stores. If the manager wants know people's attitude towards rock-and-roll music it is wise to take a survey or study.

Finally the manager fail to assume their nearby cities have the same situation as their. There may exist some difference in the treating rock-and-roll music. A person in neighboring cites may have little interest in rock-and-roll music and trend to enjoy continuous news format. And the survey taken recently may be influenced by the election。It is likely that after election people will pay less attention on politics.

In conclusion, the recommendation is not well supported. To convinced me that the radio station should shit its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format the manager should provide more direct evidence that people in their have much less interest in rock-and-roll music and will be keen on continuous news format.

seagullhereUID: 2205266

In the memorandum, the general manager of KNOW radio station recommends that the radio station should shit its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. To support the recommendation the manager cites that (1)the number of older people in their listening area has increased dramatically, while the total number of their listener has declined ,and that (2) the sales of recorded in music stores of their area decreased. The manger also cites that (3) the success of continuous news station in their nearby cites and the recent survey. This memorandum contains several logical flaws, which render it unconvincing.
(开头是典型的结论+论据，不过我觉得123这样标出来会不会欠妥，有类似的范文章这样用过吗？)

To begin with, the manager unfairly take（provides） people  the  fact（你是想说，提供事实吧，另外，fact 换成 evidence 会不会好一些） that the total number of their listeners declined while more old listeners tend to be their listeners for people in their area become uninterested in rock-and-roll music. The manger fail to consider other solutions（这个是“方式”的意思吧，possibility/interpretation）such as (这个后面能接句子吗?考虑结束本句，然后写其他可能的情况) Perhaps the job competition in their area become ardent（考虑fierce） in order to keep their jobs so that the young people have to spend more time on working and have little time to listen to radio or the young people go to travel and cannot listen to the music, that (which) causes the decrease in the total number of the listeners. And it is possible that the weather outside is seriously bad these days so that old people have no other entertainments, but only listening to the radio which causes the augment of the number of old people（older listeners）. In my views, it seems that not because people loss interests in the rock-and-roll music but, on the contrary ,may be the lower quality of rock-and-roll music program that results in the decrease of listeners .If so, they should they should improve their reporting quailty, rather than  annuling the rock-and-roll music program.
假设有点不合理的地方：竞争大应该不是个短期现象，出去旅游的人也毕竟是少数
语法错误有点多......

The memorandum also unfairly(不公平的，考虑unjustiable) assumes that the decreased sales of recorded music indicates that people in their area are no longer in favor of rock-and-roll music. However, this may because of the development of online music or C2C webs like EBay that people can listen to music or buy recorded music through the Internet and do not need to go to music stores.(句子表述再斟酌一下) If the manager wants  to know people's attitudes towards rock-and-roll music,it is wise to take a survey or study.
这段逻辑没问题，表达的更清楚更好。

Finally， the manager fails to assume their nearby cities have the same situation as their. There may exist some difference in the treating rock-and-roll music. A person in neighboring cities may have little interest in rock-and-roll music and trend to enjoy continuous news format. (这个是作者对本地的建议，不是临近城市的情况)And the survey taken（cited） recently may be influenced by the election.It is likely that after election people will pay less attention on politics.
首句就有问题，其实作者的暗含假设就是两者情况相同，他没有看到不同（这个是他的错误），其实你应该也是这个意思，意思表达反了。
每个点如果再深入下去就更好。

In conclusion, the recommendation is not well supported by the evidence. To convinced me that the radio station should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format， the manager should provide more direct evidence that people in their（？） have much less interest in rock-and-roll music and will be keen on continuous news format.


注意语法错误，特别你在写一个长句的时候
名词的单复数,第三人称单数，比较频繁出错，希望自己下次注意哦～
水平有限～互相帮助～加油～